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Black dog 21

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Sat 16-Mar-24 16:49:37

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

Scaredycat Thu 04-Apr-24 19:03:10

Oh Doodle I,m so sorry to hear that - life is so unfair sometimes. If possible try and rest this evening - I expect your tummy is churning but try and eat something to keep your strength up. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope that the problem can be sorted successfully for you- they better take care of you. Take care dear friend.

Whiff Thu 04-Apr-24 18:57:12

I will be AWOL for a few days I have shingles GP given me the anti virals..5x 800mg tablets a day but the leaflet tells you what time to take them. So can work my tablets round them. Take care all. 🤗

Doodle Thu 04-Apr-24 17:15:40

Sorry all don’t feel like posting much today. Just had recall to hospital tomorrow re possible heart issue and I’m very worried.
It’s all becoming a bit too much to cope with. Hope you understand. Be back tomorrow hopefully. Take care all x

Scaredycat Thu 04-Apr-24 11:08:37

Oh b——r I just lost my post - I,ll start again.
Nadateturbe- love the jumpers especially the blue Stripey one- you can never have too many jumpers.
Ironing done thank goodness- hate doing it . Tha garden is calling me now but I need to rest a bit today.Not that I can do much anyway- I think the weeds know that and are growing like crazy.
Hope you have a comfortable day and are able to do something you enjoy.
Doodle- I hope you soon get some of your health problems sorted- no wonder you are anxious. Having to deal with both your problems and DH too is so much for you. I am in awe of how you both deal with it all and yet have time to show kindness and compassion to us all too. Would love to pop in with a Giant Fruit and Nut and give you a big hug!
Yes there are always cards to buy and anniversaries to remember- we keep a big desk diary open at all times and still sometimes forget somebody.
Hope you have a pleasant day and a good sleep tonight.
HVDY- I married my late husband at 18 so by 24 had 3 children!! My present DH has 3 children all with families so many birthdays etc.My great sadness is I lost my youngest Son at 14 so often wonder how his life would have been. I,m like you- Family is all.
Chubby Chops must have looked so cute sitting amongst all those balls.
My eldest GD didn’t like pigeons either- still doesn’t.
So nice to get a surprise visit- such a lovely family you are.
Candy- good to learn you are relaxing- I think your Caravan will be well used this Summer.
As time goes on you will feel less hassled and some days just enjoy being alive. Must be lovely beach walking with your dog- does he go in the sea? This is the first time I have been without an animal in the house in my life- I miss the life they bring into a home. But maybe I,m too old to start again.😩
Wyllow- warm waves back. So pleased To have a morning visit- Take carexx
SweetPeaSue- you have the same problems as us if we had a dog- no room for a wet one- well maybe a little one.
It sounds like at last you have someone who listens and understands you. I,m so glad for you.
Your walk sounds lovely- that’s the beauty of the sea it constantly changes. That would have been an interesting photo.

Yesterday we visited our dear friend whose DH is in H with Alzheimer’s. She is battling it too now but has no idea she is poorly. It is so distressing as many of you know. She lives in a lovely secure retirement property so is safe and able to see after herself but for how long?
It really does make you realise how important it is to make the most of each day as best we can although it’s not always as easy as that sometimes.
Hope all Bds old and new have the best day possible x

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 04-Apr-24 07:38:52

A blight on my home town, I meant

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 04-Apr-24 07:38:18

SweetpeaSue I'm glad your psychologist is a good listener. Someone who believes in us really can help. I know how doctors cover for each other. It's good that you feel able to get your feelings heard.

Doodle Apparently, radar keys can be used in pubs, hospitals, cafes, shops, train stations, etc. - any public places. I haven't got one, but Son1 used to have one when his girls were little. They can be bought, no need for a doctor or anyone to recommend one.

Candy6 Glad you've enjoyed time in your caravan. Has the weather been ok? It's a nice break, though, whatever the weather, isn't it?

Chubby Chops came at noon yesterday, and Son1 and his girls turned up unexpectedly 10 minutes before, so the girls entertained the baby. They went swimming, so DH and I took the baby to a garden centre then park (she wasn't massively impressed with the ducks but liked the pigeons), then Son2 picked her up at 7ish. DIL and her girl were at a pantomime (in April!) at Chesterfield, starring Louis Spence as The Sheriff of Nottingham (my home town - what a on our city grin) x

Wyllow3 Thu 04-Apr-24 00:58:02

Night night to all BD's xx

Candy6 Wed 03-Apr-24 23:25:03

Evening all, been absent as I’ve been away at the caravan with the family, so very busy. I’m here on my own now and it’s absolute bliss! Time to do what I want to do, when I want to do it and I’ve never really done that. Going home tomorrow and I think it’s done me good.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry your problems continue but you manage so well and you always have time for everyone else. It’s good that you still try and get out and not give up. That’s important and although hard, will ultimately do you good. I hope you are well now.
SSSd welcome. I’m sorry you are struggling with health anxiety. I’ve never suffered with it personally but I can imagine how debilitating and all consuming it can be. I guess it must be trying to manage your thoughts? CBT can help with this. I have tried it myself and to some extent, it helped but not entirely. The only thing that has really helped me was meds. Not a complete cure but better than anything else. Meds aren’t for everyone though. Even if we don’t have all the answers, you’ll certainly get understanding and support on here.
HVDY re husbands- mine can be quiet too and will happily sit and watch “rubbish” on TV. Drives me mad sometimes. If I didn’t book or suggest things, we’d do nothing. He calls me his “social secretary” but I’d like him to do it sometimes. Men! I’m sorry for the worries over your nephew, it must be difficult for your brother.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry things are still difficult for you. I would go and see your daughter on Friday, like others have said, it could be her own problems that make her seem unenthusiastic. My daughter isn’t very tactile and I wish she was. She’s of the opinion that my son is the favourite (not true) but it all stems from his illness and the time I had to spend with him. She was young at the time but it seems to have affected her. I wish it didn’t. It’s good that you have your own things to do. I like time to myself, although I wouldn’t want it to be like tht all of the time so I feel for you.
Doodle I didn’t realise things were so difficult for your DH. Does he manage a reasonable sleep in his chair? My SiL had a bad accident where she couldn’t get to bed and had to sleep in a recliner but she got used to it and found it difficult to sleep in a bed afterwards! I hope he manages a good rest and gets his op very soon. It’s good he’s got his electric chair and at least he can get out and about - we just need some good weather!
Whiff such kind and caring posts as usual. Sounds like you had a nice family Easter too.
Nadaterturbe your jumpers look lovely. I like White Stuff. Good choice.
Scaredycat hope you’re all caught up with your ironing now. I hate ironing and always let it pile up then vow to do it as I go along! Never do. Glad you had that treasured time with your DD. Special times. Wow! 8 granddaughters! I only have the one GS and I think I’ve said before, I’m treasuring every moment as my daughter can’t ant have any more and with my son living away, it won’t be the same when he starts a family. It saddens me but it’s just the way it is.
Wyllow special thoughts.

I’ve finished work for 2 weeks now and so far, so good. I was worried I would miss it but I haven’t so far. I know it’s only early days but I am appreciating the extra time. I’m still tired but not as exhausted as I was before. Plus it has enabled me to spend the last few days here with my fur baby. We’ve had a great time walking on the beach. I know dogs are a huge responsibility but I think I’ll always have to have one, such unconditional love. Not everyone’s cup of tea though I realise and you do have to think about when you get older. I’m lucky that both my kids love them too so they’ll always have somewhere to go. Hope you all have as good a night as possible. Night night xx

nadateturbe Wed 03-Apr-24 22:58:32

Good evening everyone, have lots I would like to write and reply to people.
Unfortunately can only pop on to wish everyone a peaceful night.xx

Sweetpeasue Wed 03-Apr-24 22:11:59

Doodle I'm sure your DH's op can't come soon enough and I do hope he will find his foot pain disappears. Its awful that he has this all the time. Hope there won't be any delays and your pacemaker is sorted next week. One worry out the way for you.
Wyllow Sending you a goodnight hug.

Doodle Wed 03-Apr-24 21:05:51

Sweetpeasue I am so pleased you’ve at last found someone to talk to who makes you feel listened too. Your psychologist seems to be helping you which is good news.
Glad you managed a walk even thought it was drizzly.
nadateturbe I have two DGDs both with different tastes and likes. One is much more interested in make up etc than the other. dGS likes his neck chains and accessories.
Like you, I was never that fussed when I was growing up.
You don’t need to be ashamed about not giving up anything for lent. It’s just a matter of thinking more about that time of year. I seem to remember you were reading the God on mute book. That was one of this years Lenten studies so you did that instead. Sometimes just thinking or reading more is better than giving up something like chocolate.
HVDY I e never heard of a radar key. Are there many toilets like that about? I had to make a dash for the toilet when I arrived at the hospital this morning. Why is there always a queue blush . Yes poor DH is in constant pain it’s just worse some times more than others. Night time can be bad, Op is probably going to be late April early May.
I might have to come and sit next to Chubby Chops, I love stewed apple 🤣
Wyllow thanks for your wave, we like knowing you’re there x
Hello Whiff 👋
Hospital visit went ok. I might have my pacemaker sorted next week. They will let me know.

Sweetpeasue Wed 03-Apr-24 20:23:06

Scaredycat Hope you got the ironing out the way! You're so right about getting a dog. We love labradors
but haven't a porch/ conservatory or decent sized kitchen for one to dry off after walks. We could give my son's back but they are a big responsibility to have one all year round aren't they? 8 GDs and GGDs too! You must have lots of dates to highlight when you get a new calendar. Boys aren't really bothered about clothes much though they seem to get bothered about their hair more than they used to. You're welcome to a pic when DH has finished. He has the horses to carve yet.
HVDY Aw can just imagine little chubby chops in the ball pool- bet she loved it. Been terrible here today too- foggy and grey . I never thought about the radar keys. I've always managed to find an open toilet up to now but you never know if one might come in handy. I've seen them on Amazon since you mentioned it, thanks. I'm spoilt with keeping car cleaned as DH does it and always let's me know. Lol.
Nadateturbe Your jumpers are great. I got a shirt from white stuff last week- just need some warmer weather. My tongue isn't bothering me and I'm not biting it either as I think the white bit has gone though it's still got a small lump underneath.
It's my bladder that's the main issue which started 11yrs ago with IC symptoms. I got 'episodes' or flares of it when it started until it steadily got worse just over a Yr ago. My previous botched Hysteroscopy for a bit of postmenopausal 'spotting' in 2020 was when I started with uterus pain and also bowel pain started soon after. ( I first posted on GN about that and I believe it still can be found under *botched procedure*-- a bit embarrassing as I was all over the place at the time.) I don't know if nerves were damaged or the bowel problem was due to a bowel adhesion that was found in 2022. I think that was caused by infection in the cavity outside the bowel due to the botched procedure.
My sister still works full time and lives an hr away so doesn't call often. Keep in touch mainly text. Oh my GD is the same about hair and everything. I find it a shame too - they are so concerned about appearance far earlier now. Hope you've been OK today and you slept better last night.
Doodle How are you and your DH today? Do hope you are able to sort out the things that are of concern . You have so much to cope with that you can't possibly do everything yourself when you have your pacemaker and the results of tests to come. I've been thinking about you and wishing and praying for things to improve for you.
EllieAnne How are you today? Have you decided what to do about visiting your DD ? Hope you're OK.

I had a very emotional day yesterday. Appt with psychologist ,who's an extremely good and perceptive person has helped me a lot about a past situation. Also talked a lot about my lingering pain last couple of weeks and how it is bringing back the gaslighting that Dr's put me through before when things were covered up. Ive been much better at putting that in a box , but it still rises when I'm very low.
Felt brighter this afternoon after pain this morning and we had another walk in the drizzle. It was eerie as the sea, sand and fog was all the same grey colour and was like walking through a dream, but in a nice way!

Hoping the day hasn't been too bad for all and there has been some brighter spots.x

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 03-Apr-24 11:41:46

Good morning, Wyllow3, hope you're taking care of yourself.

It's a grey morning. Chubby Chops will be here soon. I hope we'll be able to take her out, but if it rains a lot, I've got a small ball pool with lots of plastic balls so that she can have a play in that. Hope ALL BDers manage to see a bit of sunshine

Whiff Wed 03-Apr-24 11:39:42

Wyllow glad you are still here. I did look at 3am when I went to the loo and was bit worried. Glad you posted..

Wyllow3 Wed 03-Apr-24 10:09:27

coming in for a warm wave - my post last night didnt go through xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 02-Apr-24 23:39:41

Scaredycat Chubby Chops didn't have any trifle, they're not giving her sweet stuff yet (shame), so she just had a bit of stewed apple. You've got 8 granddaughters, and there's such a range in ages - you must have been a young mum (and then a young granny).

nadateturbe our tops look lovely. I like bright colours like that. I got a lot of compliments when I wore a cerise one the other week.

It's been sunny and pleasant here today. I did aqua aerobics with my friend, then we had brunch at the pub. I washed and vacuumed my car this afternoon (it was like a tip inside), then made a lasagne - and had a couple of glasses of wine. Off to bed soon. Hope ALL BDers have a good night's rest x

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 02-Apr-24 23:32:06

SweetpeaSue Your bowel and bladder problems must drive you mad. Have you got a radar key to use to unlock public toilets? The Bladder and Bowel UK website has details, but I believe Amazon sell them, too, for about £5. Your husband is clever to be able to make things like that. My dad used to like making musical jewellery boxes and even sold a few to a shop in town. How's your tongue now?

Doodle Both sons like cooking. They experiment with different herbs and spices. DH likes plain stuff, apart from curries. He can cook, though. Your husband really suffers with his heel, doesn't he. When is the operation? Glad you managed to get out for a while yesterday.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 22:01:23

Sweetpeasue I meant to ask how is your tongue now. And yes, I agree, if its OK have a little glass of vino!
Doodle I too love dark chocolate. I usually buy 85% from Lidls. It's my favourite. I have 2 squares every day. I'm ashamed to say I don't give up anything for Lent.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 20:36:35

Hello Sweetpeasue how have you been today? How is your husband? I think your unpredictability is more difficult to explain than mine. I didn't realise it was a bowel problem. It sounds severe. And would make you very nervous going out anywhere. How long has it been like that? It seems terrible that nothing is done about it.
Good for you getting out yesterday in spite of it. Its a big effort some times, going out, but it's either keep trying or give up. I said as much to my husband yesterday. It's nice that your sister and partner call. I hope you were able to suggest another day. Your DH sounds very clever, and it's great he has something interesting to do, I think it helps take your mind off things.
Aren't young people so different nowadays? My GDs spend ages doing makeup in the morning before uni. And spend a fortune on their hair. My mum used to trim my long straight hair. I feel sorry for them though. It was much simpler years ago.

Doodle Tue 02-Apr-24 20:28:02

Scaredycat I love dark chocolate best with the exception of milk fruit and nut which I could eat a huge bar of in one sitting. 😮
Yes it was lovely to walk by the river again.
Your have 8 granddaughters. Wow. That’s lots of birthdays to remember. Must be lovely to see them all grow up. Our two are growing up now as is DGS. We still get hugs though.
Good luck with the ironing, I hate it. wish everything was non crease.
nadateturbe I think you’re right we all worry about our health as we get older. I’ve got two problems at the moment and am more anxious than I have ever been probably because DH needs me so much as he cant walk much. The jumpers look nice.
We do have the odd visitor, our sons and family and our neighbour comes in. We are out at hospital or the doctors quite a lot too.
Normally I give up a whole load of things for lent but this year I didn’t have the energy to think about it much so I just gave up chocolate and read the God on mute book as a study.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 17:26:17

Doodle just reading back, you gave up chocolate for Lent. That was really good.
I'm glad you have an electric wheelchair now. Makes such a difference.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 16:55:23

Doodle I was shocked to hear that your DH can't sleep in bed all this time. I didn't realise he was on a recliner so long.He must be in such pain, poor man, I'm sure he really misses his bed. The healing seems to be such a slow process. And you are dealing with ill health too. You are two very brave caring people.
Do you have visitors to keep you company?
I do hope and pray that some better days are ahead for you.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 16:41:56

Here they are, the top one is lovely on. I don't really need 2 stripes, but the 2nd one is on offer and will save me shopping for a while. I just wish I could get out more to wear things. But I'm sure many on here feel like that.

nadateturbe Tue 02-Apr-24 16:24:46

My poor eyes and brain can't cope with screens well so please excuse me if I seem to ignore people. Scaredycat I hope you're getting through the ironing. Don't be overdoing it. Enjoy the sun a little.
It's lovely to have memories of that time together with DD. So glad you enjoyed it.
Isn't it funny how Easter egg chocolate tastes nicer.
I think HA is more common as we get older, and isn't helped by the NHS problems at the minute. It's always in the background and is worse if you are normally anxious. I've been like that since I was young.
I bought two White Stuff jumpers, they're comfy and light. My body is sensitive to weight and fabric. And ordered two more. Will probably keep 3.
You asked about painting, it's going very slowly but at least I'm doing it.

Scaredycat Tue 02-Apr-24 11:15:46

Morning all.
SweetPeaSue - I think it’s time you had a little drink again- it was sensible to stop when you were worried about your tongue but it,ll be ok now. Your beach walk sounded bracing- but so beneficial for mental and physical health. The bigger the waves the better. You must miss your doggy companion - we sometimes think about a little dog but it is not a decision to make lightly is it.
We have 8 Grandaughters from 37-21 and have seen many fashion trends over the years- now it’s the turn of 10 yr old GGD to experiment. The GGSs not so much😄
What a clever Husband you have - the carousel sounds lovely. Maybe a picture when it’s finished?
Doodle- I,m glad you,ve been able to see your family this week- spending time with them is the best of all things isn’t it.
Oooh Chocolate is so nice especially Easter Egg chocolate which has a different taste somehow. What is your favourite Chocolate?
It must have felt so good to be able to get out in the sunshine again- were you able to sit by the river? You and DH have so much to bear at the moment - you are a very brave couple. Hope you are able to get out again with the unexpected free time. The sun is shining here today.
HVDY- your brother has a lot of sadness to deal with - it would be so good for him to spend time with you and your family but as you say it’s his choice.
I too favor the Nora Batty look at bedtime complete with Hottie too.!
What a nice Easter Monday you had- my Son is useless in the kitchen. Trifle is one of my favourites- did Chubby Chops have some?
Nadateturbe- hope you feel a bit stronger this morning.
What sort of jumpers did you buy? I love jumpers that are loose and a bit baggy - bright colours too.
Sssd- hello . Yes it’s not always easy to talk about H.A.. I know how it feels- the constant checking,Googling,worrying and never quite believing the Dr s are right. Since starting anti Depressants it has helped so much
You can say as much or as little as you feel like her- there is always someone to listen and be kind.
Whiff- as usual sensible ,kind words. I echo how you feel about Wyllow- so good when she lets us know she’s around.
EllieAnne- your daughter didn’t say no to your visit - I,m sure she’ll be happy to see you. It might do you good to get away from your ,what sounds to me, almost intolerable home life.
Please stay here- you know we all care about you
Wyllow- Thinking of you as always.

Well now off to tackle the dreaded holiday ironing😩😩
Feeling very tired - so much to do on returning home . I think the life of a lady of leisure suited me and my DD. But I,m so grateful to have had those days together.
Take care all and may the sun shine on you todayxx

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