Alzheimer's Society Dementia Advert

The advert is very realistic and those who have fared for loved ones with the condition know it is true to life, even if your loved one wasn't quite as ill as that. If you haven't had any day to day dealings with a person who has advanced dementia, honestly you would not know, in the beginning they can be very good at hiding it. Some people seem to think it is just about their memory.
"Until they have walked a mile in the shoes of someone who has cared for a dementia patient " how would they?

People with dementia are most certainly not “living with it”.

They are suffering distressed frustrated angry scared and most of all left to it themselves with their family if they are lucky

It’s an illness than should not be “downgraded” in any way you can’t whitewash the suffering…

It’s cruel from beginning to the end.

kittylester

^The advert was co-produced with dementia sufferers. Don't deny them their voice^

As I said in my post - the petition to have it removed was started by a person living with dementia.

People living with dementia are not, nowadays, described as suffering from dementia - the term is living with.

I can assure you that both my mother and mother-in-law suffered with their dementia. What they went through, I would not wish on anyone. Suffering it most certainly was.

OldFrill

kittylester

I think it is an appalling advert! I have signed the Petition against it- which was started by a woman living with dementia.

There is such a lot of life to be had even after diagnosis.

How dradful to be newly diagnosed with any sort of dementia and then seeing that advert.

I volunteer with lots of people living with dementia, and their carers, and think this is a really scary portrayal of the future.

The advert was co-produced with dementia sufferers. Don't deny them their voice

Well said!

kittylester

I think it is an appalling advert! I have signed the Petition against it- which was started by a woman living with dementia.

There is such a lot of life to be had even after diagnosis.

How dradful to be newly diagnosed with any sort of dementia and then seeing that advert.

I volunteer with lots of people living with dementia, and their carers, and think this is a really scary portrayal of the future.

Sorry, but when I was in the thick of it, I used to get very irritated to see articles or posters trying to put a cosy, ‘friendly’ gloss on it. E.g. ‘It’s possible to live well with dementia!’

Well, it possibly may be for some of those who suffer from it, but it’s almost always very hard for their families. And if sufferers are anything like my mother, so often worried, anxious or frightened of things she couldn’t even name, or else in a terrible state because of some awful dream she was utterly convinced was real…

Or else like the poor lady (in her 80s) at my mother’s care home, often so distraught and crying bitterly because her mother wouldn’t know where she was…

Yes, there was also the old lady who would happily tell you almost every time that her mum and dad and gran and grandad were coming soon, and they were all going to the seaside together!

Bless her, she was happy back in her sunlit childhood idyll, but the previous sort of scenarios are in my experience (my Dm had it for 15 years and I was visiting her care home for the last 8) are considerably more common.

The advert was co-produced with dementia sufferers. Don't deny them their voice

As I said in my post - the petition to have it removed was started by a person living with dementia.

People living with dementia are not, nowadays, described as suffering from dementia - the term is living with.

I found myself thinking that it was the whole point of the advert. Dementia is dehumanising.

So true.
I thought it was a good hard-hitting advert and well made.

I hope it encourages people to support dementia charities and understand more about this terrible condition.

I looked after my mum when she had dementia. The day came when I had tears dripping off my chin and my husband said ‘it’s her or me’. I knew a hairdresser who went round homes and she recommended a good one where my mum was well looked after.
My mum always recognized me and she knew that one of my daughters had a baby. She didn’t know which one but she was sure that my (second) husband was the father!
Luckily I had power of attorney so was able to sell her house to pay the fees. The annoying thing was that she paid more than the council paid for the ladies who didn’t have to pay so we were subsidizing them.
Sad to say, like some of the others, I was relieved when she died.

kittylester

I think it is an appalling advert! I have signed the Petition against it- which was started by a woman living with dementia.

There is such a lot of life to be had even after diagnosis.

How dradful to be newly diagnosed with any sort of dementia and then seeing that advert.

I volunteer with lots of people living with dementia, and their carers, and think this is a really scary portrayal of the future.

The advert was co-produced with dementia sufferers. Don't deny them their voice

This link explains is why and how (co-produced with dementia sufferers) the advert was made
It's hard hitting, truthful and needs to be shown.
www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-us/dementia-news-and-media/long-goodbye

My mum had vascular dementia it was heart breaking to see the changes in her behaviour. I cried so much about the way she ended up its a cruel illness. When she died it was a relief she did not deserve that end to her life. That was seven years ago and I still get upset about the way she had changed. If it was me I would want to go asleep and not wake up.

My Mum was diagnosed at 92 and thank God she deteriorated only slowly. She knew something was wrong and took herself to the GP and was actually quite relieved when she was diagnosed with Alzheimers after lengthy tests.

We carried on as normal but bit by bit I could see dementia taking hold. Her beautiful handwriting changed to sentences with upper and lower case letters all over the place and going diagonally across the page. We went out as normal but she forgot how to deal with cash transactions and asked me to take over. She forgot how to operate the microwave, the TV, the stairlift and after just two weeks of buying a rise and recline chair I found her trying to climb out of it with the leg rests about 3 feet off the ground! She used to try and operate the TV with her phone and ring me on her TV control.

She sometimes confused night with day and if I rang her at 7pm she would ask why I was ringing her at 7am. We had some lovely times together though and some great laughs and I filled a book with her childhood memories and she loved doing that. When she became unsafe at home I visited 14 care homes and finally found a fantastic one and she spent her last 3 years there very happily.

The book of memories went with her and the staff said it was worth it’s weight in gold because in her final year she got very confused, emotional and upset and the staff would read it to her and she would smile and calm down. In the last few days of her life (nearly 97) they read that book to her over and over again and played all her favourite Irish music to her so they were the sounds she passed away to dressed in her favourite nightie, her hair brushed beautifully and wearing her Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers perfume and snuggled under a crochet throw I made for her in her favourite colours of pink, lavender and mauve all of which she had specified in her end of life care plan.

I have highlighted the best parts because that’s what I care to remember and also that she never forgot who I was for which I am truly grateful. Dementia is a cruel disease and it was very distressing for both of us when Mum was forgetting words, wanting to go “home” (she meant to Ireland), needing the toilet all the time because she forgot she had literally just got off the loo and then exhausting herself. Many a time I went into the loo and just quietly cried while she sat in her chair shredding paper tissues which she hoarded.

I have great sympathy for anybody going through this with a loved one now.

I think it is an appalling advert! I have signed the Petition against it- which was started by a woman living with dementia.

There is such a lot of life to be had even after diagnosis.

How dradful to be newly diagnosed with any sort of dementia and then seeing that advert.

I volunteer with lots of people living with dementia, and their carers, and think this is a really scary portrayal of the future.

HousePlantQueen - I too was relieved when my mother finally died after a long struggle with dementia. Years before, she had helped to care for an elderly neighbour who also had dementia, and I remember her telling me that she would never want that for herself.

well, I think the advert in question is hard hitting, honest and emotional, and the tragedy of seeing the young, lively woman as she once was is stark. The young woman who would have been horrified to see what was ahead. I too have seen both of my parents slip into the fog of dementia/Alzheimers, seen a smart, intelligent articulate woman unable to write her own name on her GD's birthday card, then unable to comprehend what a birthday was, then who her GD was, then unable to remember how to swallow, so yes, it is stark and horrific, but so is Alzheimers. It is not all about old ladies getting a bit dotty. Lovely men like my late Father sitting with a frightened look in his eyes as he looked around the sitting room and didn't know where he was. Yes, both of my parents died several times, and when it was for the final time, I was relieved.

I think the people who have had no direct contact with someone they love who has dementia do have unrealistic ideas of dementia so yes a hard hitting advert ( which I havnt seen yet) is needed to encourage more money fir research because we are all at risk of getting this cruel totally debilitating disease.

Thinking of my dear mum today. She had Alzheimer’s fir 10 years and didn’t know me for her last 5 years but I knew her. Having said that I struggle to remember how she was before and that makes me very sad.

Thank you, Witzend, good to know!

icanhandthemback, for too many years when I was coping with dementia, I used to find the Alz. Soc. carers’ forum excellent for a good old letting-off-steam vent - at least they all knew what it was like!

Yes, Witzend, even my own mother who had somehow managed to escape caring for her father despite promises to do so, would say, "It's not that bad," if she heard me saying anything to other people. She obviously had no idea how exhausting and distressing it was to hear somebody shout, "Help," all night long because they were convinced they were dying. I didn't want a medal for caring for him, I just wanted to be able to vent sometimes.

I told the story before, but I’ll tell it again because it is a lighthearted post amongst many sad ones

My friends Mum was in a care home with dementia. My friend used to visit her regularly but she always complained that nobody ever went. She went to visit her one day and found her sitting on a chair in the hallway, she sat down next to her and tried to start a conversation a few times with no success. She asked her why she was sitting in the hall but got no answer. After a few minutes the mother got up and walked away without a word, my friend thinking she probably gone to the toilet waited a little while, and when she didn’t come back she went to see if she was ok She found her sitting in another corridor, my friend sat down next to and said ‘oh I wondered where you got to’ Her Mum replied ‘well there’s some old woman keeps trying to talk to me and I’m trying to get away from her’ .

I haven’t seen it, but IMO hard hitting ads are probably a good thing. So many people haven’t a clue - often think it’s just a case of some nice old thing gently getting a bit more forgetful - and too often they’re the ones who try to tell you what you ought to be doing with your relative!
E.g. ‘You must make her do this or that - use it or lose it!’ (no conception that she’s already irretrievably lost it. I could go on….

Agreed. It was at a fairly late stage, but I was suddenly no longer able to take my mother out in the car to the local park, where I’d park somewhere with a nice view and take a flask of tea etc. She had forgotten how to get in and out of a car - no longer knew what to do with her arms and legs, and would get in a panic if I tried to ‘steer’ her in.

And that was quite apart from the fact of no longer recognising her own children. For quite a while (until she virtually stopped speaking altogether) I was just a ‘nice lady’ who made her cups of tea and brought her chocolate.

I don’t quite see it that way *icanhandthemback’ I have two close friends with dementia and they caught it early and are in the system taking medication this keeps them from having the ups and downs that my mum and Nan had but they are quiet, dumbed down, they ve lost any spirit their faces empty they are just that totally empty, and I don’t want that
If I get it I d rather carry on as long as I can doing what I can even if I do it the wrong way. I d rather fall down the stairs trying, than sit in a corner with blank eyes.

I do think it’s good to have hard hitting adverts and I m not against this one and hope it makes loads of money I just don’t want to watch it myself, it’s my personal feelings

Furthermore - things may have changed but for many years the Alzheimer's Society received around 3% of the donations that Cancer Research received. May be such an advert is necessary for fundraising?

My mother had Alzheimer's many years ago when she was 55. There were not the range of drugs available then as now. I empathised with the advert because I thought each time that my mother deteriorated, it was like a death. I could mark her deterioration in steps - when I had to write a cheque for her to sign; when I found piece of paper where she had been practising her signature; when I had to go to the bank with her to arrange to sign her cheques; when I found her reading the same page in a book or a magazine; so on and so forth. Then when she thought i was her sister and told me how I used to tell her off when she was young; when she no longer knew me (even as her sister) but knew that I was somehow connected to her. This was over two or three years and then the final deterioration when I could hardly bear to see her because it was so distressing.

My mother was long gone before she finally died - following pneumonia. She was in a care home. My sister and I spent the last week with her at the home, sleeping on the settees in the lounge at night. As I walked out of the care home I felt as if a weight had been lifted from me.

My mother lived for about 8 years from the initial diagnosis. That was more than 30 years ago and I still find it hard to remember her as she was, before she became ill.

The advert, as far as I'm concerned is very accurate.