Having lost both my own mother and my mother-in-law to dementia, I've always said that you do lose the person several times over - as the disease gradually robs them of everything which made that person 'them', and then again when they finally die. It is the most horrible, cruel disease.
BlueBelle, I quite understand how you feel even if I don't agree with you over whether we need that sort of an advert. One thing that I have found with my Grandfather and Mother getting Alzheimer's/dementia is that my anxiety about getting it has increased. However, it is making me make change certain things to try to delay it and being aware will hopefully help me to seek help earlier than my elders did.
I’m living that advert with my husband. It’s realistic to a point as he does “ die” a little every day but its the best I’ve seen so far at portraying the emotional side of living with and having this illness but it does not portray the daily struggle this illness causes. Perhaps that would be a step too far for some.
I watch my husband struggle to walk even a short distance within his own home without becoming exhausted, to get himself up from a seated position is nearly impossible now and he needs help with that he doesn’t speak for days at a time he grinds his teeth constantly no answer for either of these from his medical staff.
As for the toilet/bowel situation I won’t go into that.
Showing shaving and brushing his teeth is an all day affair as he needs time to recover his strength inbetween.
His blood pressure is up and down his medication is most probably the cause but he needs his meds too.
The body is most certainly affected. Perhaps the journalist is of the ‘ it’s a social illness” brigade and is promoting that.
My thoughts too Greyisnotmycolour so many people suffering now.
I think we all know how it ends for many and I don’t see what help that advert was apart from making us more sad I nursed my Nan for 3/4 years and then my mum had it for 7 years I don’t need an advert to make me feel worse There is little you can do I m next in line I don’t need reminding so I won’t be watching
One in two get cancer one in three Alzheimer’s or dementia not much fun going for us as we reach these bigger numbers
I think it is a very good advert that brings home the absolute ongoing, heartbreak of dementia, it's rare for an advert these days to be so hard hitting. I haven't read the article referred to but it sounds to me like the author is in denial about the reality of the illness. It absolutely does affect the body often culminating in losing the ability to swallow and slowly starving. It is wretched, cruel, relentless and painfully slow as well. If this advert generates more donations to research it will have served it's purpose well.
I've just cried after watching that clip. Any type of dementia (there are about 200 types) is very sad. I worked as a Dementia Specialist Carer for many years, so saw lots of people whose lives had been affected when their mums, dads, siblings, spouses, etc, had dementia. Now, my lovely sister-in-law is in a care home, unable to walk, dress or wash herself, at the age of 70. Alzheimer's has been slowly killing her for the past 4 years already.
Apparently according to The Times , there has been a bit of an outcry about the new advert which refers to the multiple times a person with dementia dies. The link to the advertisement if you haven't seen it is here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=m06RTgI3Oqk&t=2s
In the Opinion piece written by Sonia Sodha she says, "I found it immensely uncomfortable to watch. Using death as a metaphor to describe the progression of a disease experienced by someone living struck me as horribly dehumanising." I found myself thinking that it was the whole point of the advert. Dementia is dehumanising.
Sonia goes on to say that she has stepped back a little on her thoughts but still thinks the advert goes too far but society sanitises too much. What do you think?
Later she comments, "... because dementia leads to the degeneration of your mind rather than your body; it erodes your memories, your identity and your sense of self." Well, I don't know how many people she knows with dementia but I know from experience that the body does become affected.
One of the difficulties we had was that Mum could not remember to put one foot in front of another therefore she couldn't walk. My grandad completely lost the ability to speak but could still write. There were other things but too gross to mention!
My feeling with my Mum is that I have lost her several times over. I sat in her room howling when over Christmas, for the umpteenth time, I have visited but she just can't wake up. Once it took a month before we could actually talk to her again. The doctors can't find anything wrong and carers tell me it happens a lot with dementia patients.
I felt a loss when I took her out to a music concert with her favourite composer which she would have loved but she just kept saying, why are we here? who's music is this? When we took her back to the home, she was so frightened because she didn't know where she was. My strong, confidant mother has become anxious and scared.
Watching her bewildered at family events, forgetting who the love of her life was, not realising I'm her daughter but thinking I am her mother...I could go on but you get my drift. All of this is without losing my mother as my go to confidant, legal advisor, financial advisor and somebody who understood my sense of humour. That was the nice side, now the vicious side is totally unfiltered! Each time something goes it does feel like a bereavement so I feel the advert is perfect to describe the emotions you go through.
Please do share your thoughts especially if you are caring for or know someone with dementia so have a firsthand experience.
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