Getting a dementia diagnosis

Not everyone has scans now Ann, there are some 'circumstantial' diagnoses - at least round here. Helping with the post covid backlog.

My mother only ever had fairly basic tests done by the GP. But TBH we already knew - she’d had classic signs of Alzheimer’s for some time, inc. an almost complete loss of short term memory, and (for a formerly fastidious person) a reluctance to shower, wash her hair, and change grubby clothes for clean ones.

The first signs in FiL (who had vascular D) were the mini strokes, plus again, a very uncharacteristic failure to shave or wear clean clothes - not to mention several identical packs of sausages in his fridge, since when shopping he’d have forgotten that he already had several packs the same.

UTI perhaps? Causes confusion.

It upsets me to read that the label of dementia is slapped on too many people these days.
A diagnosis is made by a professional after extensive tests and an MRI scan.
Nobody would ever claim that they or a loved one has dementia.
It is a devastating, life changing and dreaded diagnosis.
I have lived with my H being diagnosed and cared for him for long years.

There could be any number of reasons why she is becoming forgetful - anxiety. stress or just getting simply older. Doesn't necessarily mean its dementia. This label is slapped on people far too easily.

I think there's a lot more awareness of the early symptoms nowadays.
The memory test is a good screening tool to help reach a diagnosis or otherwise.

My Mum had Alzheimer's but always claimed she was just a bit forgetful, which was to be expected at her age (in her 80s).

My Dad now has vascular dementia.
He was reassured by the diagnosis as he'd said, "I just want to know what's going on in my head."
He knew something wasn't right.

Have you or the husband actually talked to your friend about this to ascertain how she feels about it? There is such a thing as informed consent, and taking on an LPA would still have to be signed off by your friend giving consent to it.

There could be any number of reasons why she is becoming forgetful - anxiety. stress or just getting simply older. Doesn't necessarily mean its dementia. This label is slapped on people far too easily.

One strategy I used to see recommended on the Alz. Soc. carers’ forum, was to write to the GP, saying that you understand that they can’t discuss a patient with you, but you are pretty sure there are signs of dementia. The person however will not agree in any circs. to see the GP on those grounds, but perhaps they could be called in for an ‘over X age health check’ where some suitably subtle questioning could be used?*

It’s as well to be aware, though, that a diagnosis doesn’t necessarily help much (if at all) and that any medication will at best probably only slow the progress down.

One practical thing to do, is to get powers of attorney put in place asap, if possible.

*also recommended was to accompany them at any such appt. (if possible!) and to sit slightly behind them, so that if and when they give any wrong answers (to e.g. ‘Are you still able to do your shopping/cooking, etc.?’ you can discreetly but firmly shake your head.

At our GP a referral would be made to the local Memory Clinic.

I would suggest a quick phone call for advice to www.alzheimers.org.uk/

A lot of GPs would take on board his concerns and call the wife in for a general 'check up'.

I think her husband should take her with him for an appointment where the GP can see for herself.
It does seem like a harsh attitude to take but maybe the symptoms are not serious enough according to what the GP has been told?
Contact the Alzheimers Society or Age UK for advice.