Mum not eating

Just reread your post and realise that you aren't at hand .
If your sister can't pop in all the time then , can you get someone else to ?
I had three teenage neighbours popping in to make tea and chat and serve treats .
I was fortunate .

I had this problem with both parents .
So have my friends .
It's common .
I've asked doctors and I've tried to read up on it .
I've been told that it's normal and to be expected .
As they get older and more frail - their appetite decreases .
Some medications cause it often leaving an unpleasant taste .
Lack of activity and
depression doesn't help .

Both of them would fill up on chocolate , cakes , biscuits and crisps despite being diabetic .
Eventually being clinically obese became a thing of the past as I struggled to feed them to maintain a normal weight .

Complain and the alternatives were rejected as tasting like wallpaper paste !

Here's my solution :

A good vitamin and iron supplement .

A huge stock of ready meals from different companies as they get bored with the taste .
I sometimes cooked from scratch , but was told that it took too long . By the time it was served they wanted something else .
Little desserts such as yoghurt , trifles or jellies or ice creams .
Microwaveable steamed puddings with custard .
Home made soups though they preferred canned .
Whole milk drinks .
Fresh fruit - cut and peeled for them .
Extra microwaveable vegetables .
Some ready made salads .
Some chocolate .

I found that five or six mini meals a day worked better than the classic breakfast , lunch and dinner routines .

Half a ready meal was enough and I'd put out little treats such as grapes and chocolates in small bowls .

I found it challenging and upsetting , but I came to terms with it .

annodomini

Your mum's meal out yesterday tells me that what she needed to tempt her appetite was something really tasty. So please don't try to feed her Complan or something equally bland! I'm her age - or a little more - and I like a tasty meal. In my oven at present is a veggie lasagne from the Cook range and it smells fantastic! Can't wait, but I must. She might like to look at the Cook menu as well as Wiltshire's. Some are microwaveable, others have to be oven cooked.

The fortified drinks were a suggestion if she has lost her appetite due to the UTI, a temporary measure to keep up her strength and hydration.

If she tucked into ham, egg and chips then she is obviously starting to feel better, a good sign.

Your mum's meal out yesterday tells me that what she needed to tempt her appetite was something really tasty. So please don't try to feed her Complan or something equally bland! I'm her age - or a little more - and I like a tasty meal. In my oven at present is a veggie lasagne from the Cook range and it smells fantastic! Can't wait, but I must. She might like to look at the Cook menu as well as Wiltshire's. Some are microwaveable, others have to be oven cooked.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. She went out with my sister yesterday and had ham egg and chips. Didn’t eat it all but took a doggy bag home. She’s ordered a Wiltshire farm foods brochure, just to look. I’m seeing her the weekend after next and will be seeing her GP too.

I used to get my mum the mini microwave meals from m and s and the frozen bags of veg you can put in the microwave, if her appetite improves then you can move to the bigger ones.
Full fat milk and add butter where you can. Has she got a sweet tooth, hope so, as it’s a lot easier my mum didn’t, so couldn’t tempt her with a milk pudding etc.
Also I gave her a good multivitamin everyday, she said they helped increase her appetite. Good luck.

I've noticed that at the care home where I volunteer they very often present tasty crudités along with biscuits/cake/ chocolates/crisps for teatime snacks. The crudités are always eaten up. They are brightly coloured and crunchy and obviously healthy.
A nice way to slip in some vegetables and fibre.
(The food at this home is fabulous. I'm putting my name down for it!)

Lot of good advice on here, look into small portions of things that she used to eat, like the baked bean pots my MiL used to have. Often old people don't like to waste food, & can't be bothered storing half -tins. Tiny jellies & rice-pudding pots. The trouble with batch -cooking for her, it's just not practical when you live further away & you could use the time for an extra visit instead. Wiltshire farm foods are reliable & microwaveable & if she doesn't like to snack (after all, most of our life we're trying not to) make sure she has some favourite biscuits in an easy-to-open tin & has one with her cup of tea. Also squash can be better then water for the very elderly as it is fortified with vitamins & electrolytes that she might get low on with a limited diet. Fortifying soups & casseroles with grated cheese, & puddings with ice-cream help keep calories up.

Firstly if she’s had an UTI encourage her to drink lots of water . My mums 88 and I’m always nagging her to drink more water . She says it’s boring so I got her some elderflower cordial to add to the water .
My mum also has ready meals which she heats up in the microwave. M & S do mini ones .
Older people with a lack of appetite find a large plate of food off putting , hence the mini meals . My mum has all bran and Greek yogurt for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch which I cut into quarters rather than half .
I also buy her little sweet treats, cakes or pastries to tempt her appetite.
I’m the opposite to you , as I’m the local one and my sister lives a 2.5 hour drive away .

One of our GD was too sickly to eat, needed protein. these bars taste best (she says) -- Fulfil white chocolate caramel vitamin protein bar £41.99/box.

Sorry I forgot you said Microwave. The Heinz soup with the additions could be left in small food storage pots to go in Microwave. Also one tiny square of well buttered soft bread with thin spread of Marmite to nibble on.

Small helping in each small plastic microwaveable storage would actually be more tempting than helping that is larger.

For fluid intake she may do well with a nice pink chugger bottle filled with flavoured water.

Cup of tea can be kept in fridge and reheated second or three in Microwave. Or keep the milkless tea in Thermos flask and leave a pretty little jug of cream to pour ad lib.

A few British strawberries, or cherries, washed and in a covered saucer.
Skooshy cream may come in handy.

Mattsmum, I am 92 with a poor appetite. I recommend soft boiled eggs with buttered soldiers, salt and pepper.

Soft fried egg on toast cut up into small bites , with black pepper and ketchup.

Poached egg as above.

Small helping of best cherry tomatoes cut up for safety , sprinkle with black pepper and mayonnaise if liked.

Try her with small bite of toast with plenty butter and lightly spread with Marmite to find out if she will tolerate it. Marmite is good for B vitamins. You can get low salt Marmite.

Small glass of good fresh red wine, not too cold.

If constipated give regular stewed prunes_[Pitted for safety) May be possible to buy baby food pureed stewed prunes in jar or tin.

Heinz tinned tomato soup with milk and a little Feta cheese melted into it. Start with a small helping.

Heinz tinned cream of chicken soup. Again a small helping to start with.

Yoghourt with dairy ice cream.

Dairy ice cream e.g. Mackie's

Grandmabatty

Protein drinks, although they aren't that tasty. My mum intermittently stops eating. We just give her whatever she fancies, cake, biscuits etc. she doesn't have a great diet but as long as she eats something, I'm not going to push it.

Best thing

travelsafar

What about Wiltshire foods. They have ready meals your mum could just reheat if she's capable of doing this. If not, meals on wheels is an option too.

We used these for my MiL and she ate most of them, they also do a “softer” food range. Does Mum still live alone?

Fortisip is good. My MiL had those and also found the small M&S meals suited her. They seemed quite old fashioned types of meal but my MiL was well over 90 and this was the sort of thing she liked.

Could you batch cook some of her favourite dinners and stock her freezer up that way - home cooked tastes so much nicer that shop bought ready meals and you will know what has gone into them. Even a hearty mixed vegetable soup/hotpot would fill her up if she doesn't fancy meat or fish.
I do hope you can tempt you Mum with something - it is such a worry when loved ones won't eat properly.

Could you or your sister make some things that freeze well that you know she likes and make up small portions so that they could be frozen and she would only have to take one out and defrost it. This would let her have choices and not have a lot of effort to cook. Also perhaps you and your sister could make a little extra of whatever your family is having and freeze it, and then when you visit her label the containers and take them in a cold bag with a freezer block to make sure they dont defrost and she will have something to enjoy.

I live alone now, and when the family were around then anything I tried would be hoovered up by my son , so I was happy to have different things in. One of the things that I either really want or cant face are kippers. You can get a pack of two fillets that are in a bag and can be put in the microwave, With some nice fresh bread and butter , it can be very tasty if you are in the mood. Can you remember what was a favourite choice on birthdays or trips out, which may appeal.

M&S Food does a range of mini-size ready meals, most can be microwaved, I think.

I've lost my appetite at the moment and even the thought of tackling a full-size meal is off putting. She probably feels very under the weather too, and can't be bothered to make anything.

Food supplements, eg Ensure and Complan could help in the meantime.

Can your sister call in and stock her up? Is anyone else calling in to see her?

Good old Lucozade may help perk her appetite up. I looked after my mum living an hour away for years with early dementia. She enjoyed Wiltshire farm foods to pop in microwave and lots of snack things to hand for her. She did have a carer popping in morning and evening daily who encouraged her to eat and drink and supervised medication. Main problem I had was getting her to drink fluids regularly. It is hard when you don’t live near to pop in daily.

Thanks for saying that Grandmabatty. I am also 82. (just) and haven't the best of health, so my appetite has waned and I sometimes just don't feel like eating.
Small portions of anything. fancied. Tinned rice pudding, for instance.
Try not to make your mum Mattsmum2, feel as though she HAS to eat.
It's offputting.

I am your mum's age and frequently get UTI's as well. My problem, since my husband died I just do not feel like cooking anymore, I find there is too much hassle with all the pots and pans etc for just one person, I have got lazy. I shop online and buy ready meals, with fruit or frozen fruit and yogurts and that is the main thing I live on, I like a piece of cake with my tea and coffee and that is it.

I have a microwave and an air fryer plus a George Foreman grill and griddle but apart from the microwave, they do not get used. I have a few friends who are the same as me and two of them have now decided to have meals on wheels delivered. They are hot meals with a sandwich for tea with a slice of cake, perhaps your mum could go down this route. I have thought about it myself.

I just feel as if there is no purpose to my life anymore so I take the easy way out and buy ready meals. I enjoy toast and jam for breakfast or toast and beans, I do not miss any meals, I always ensure I make myself something but the enjoyment has gone out of eating. If someone put a giant chocolate dessert in front of me, or a few cream cakes, I would relish the lot, it is just normal food I have a problem with.

Protein drinks, although they aren't that tasty. My mum intermittently stops eating. We just give her whatever she fancies, cake, biscuits etc. she doesn't have a great diet but as long as she eats something, I'm not going to push it.

First of all make sure her teeth are ok, if she wears dentures make sure she is A, wearing them and B they are clean.
Get your Sister to make sure her tongue isn't coated , this can be a sign of oral thrush and makes everything taste funny. You can get Nystatin from the chemist for this.
Then encourage snacking rather than big meals, until her appetite comes back, everything full fat, milky drinks, cheese & Biscuits with some grapes at the side, yoghurt, especially the ones with added protein, or ones for Gut health. Probiotic drinks . Porridge sachets of even the pots , some nice soft rolls with Egg and tomatoes, or tuna , if you can up her protein her appetite will improve. She will probably eat better with a bit of company. I realise that can be awkward when you are not living near by.

What about Parsley Box meals?
I think they can just be stored in a cupboard, or Wiltshire Fine Foods, which are already frozen,
Both delivered to the door, smallish portions and go in the microwave.

What about Wiltshire foods. They have ready meals your mum could just reheat if she's capable of doing this. If not, meals on wheels is an option too.