Should I have counselling?

Am in a similar situation. My DH nearly died of an aortic aneurysm but had a repair and has now made a good recovery.
But I find I am more emotional and have separation sadness.
What helps? Art, must get to David Hockneys immersion thing at King's Cross. Music, Yes in a way but can make me more sad.
Getting out and seeing people, Yes but I have so much to do at home and less energy to do it with.
Reading Gransnet is a great help.
You are not alone...... breaks into 🎵 song

.

Anxiety is really debilitating and if you are struggling after so many years and it isn’t easing I think it’s definitely worth looking at options such as counselling. Locally we can self refer to Mind . Or if you can get an appointment, speak to your gp.
Hope you can find something that helps you.

Given what you’ve experienced I would be seriously worried if you weren't anxious. Anxiety isn’t a bad thing, it keeps us safe, and it definitely isn’t a sign of weakness. However, when it starts to take over your life a good counsellor can help you find ways to manage it. Go for it and I hope you find relief soon.

I think it would be a very good idea to find the right counselling to help you. It may take a bit of finding the person who can help you. One of the things about a counsellor is that they are not family or frirnd, which can mean you find it easier to talk to them about certain things. also often the whole point is that the onlooker sees more of the problem. so by that I mean, sometimes we are aware we are very stressed or anxious, and can often put it down to some specific thing or action. Another person who is trained to look for these things, might direct your thoughts in another direction or make connections that may not have occurred to you. Once they make you aware of something you are able to see how this affects your life. So as an example she may make you aware that for some reason you find things more difficult to deal with on fridays. So the same situation that happens on tuesday does not affect you so much. You may then realize that you always worried about the weekend in some previous time in your life. That may not be relevant now but you still feel that anxiety . That may not be a very good example but it is the fact that we dont always seem to realize or make connections until someone else points them out to us. I hope you find someone to help you and it will get easier for you as time goes on

Understandably, you are suffering anxiety, due to what you have experienced with your friend. That doesn’t mean that you are no longer independent. I am no expert, but have been through various traumas, and I believe you would benefit from speaking to a professional counsellor, who is experienced in dealing with the issues you are currently going through. Talking helps so much, in my opinion. 💐

I have suffered with acute anxiety over the years .....I did cbt once ...can't say it helped much...got a few strategies in my toolbox now though....I have propananol prescribed prn ...so take it when needed ....often don't need it at all ....but there when I do...takes the edge off ..

No experience, so not in a position to advise . However my instinct is to suggest you look for help , you need support. Your GP will be a sound first step. I wish you well 💐

Such devastating events as you describe are very hard to deal with/adjust to, Mamma66. Of course you feel anxious.

As curtaintwitcher says, finding something creative or absorbing that you can focus your mind on can help a great deal. Talking to a counsellor might well help you find something that would suit you.

Do seek help. Even talking it through with someone 'detached' might make all the difference to your ability to cope.

All the best

CBT may be helpful for your gives you methods of dealing with panicky feelings.

It's probably better to try these things now, rather than them gradually build up into a really problematic issue.

Mamma66 Try to read up on what is happening to your body when fear kicks in.
I’m sure you’ve heard of fight or flight. When we are in a state of terror or threat our bodies produce adrenaline. Adrenaline is the bodies fuel to enable us to fight or flight.
Obviously you don’t need to do either of these, but, your body has to get rid of that fuel adrenaline.
Anxiety kicks in because we aren’t using this fuel
It’s up to each person how they do this but it must be any form of movement that raises the heart rate.
Such as, star jumps, shadow boxing, running on the spot ( or anywhere)
Also you must look at your breathing. Lift your shoulders, hold , take deep breath through you nose and then exhale through your mouth slowly slowly dropping your shoulders.
You can do this. 🙂

Curtaintwitcher

I would guess you are a sensitive person and have been affected by the trauma you have experienced. If you do seek professional help, don't be fobbed off with drugs. Learning meditation or finding something (such as music) which soothes you may help.
Losing yourself in a craft is actually very therapeutic. Concentrating your mind on making something helps to relax you.

Some great advice, Curtaintwitcher.
Have you passed through the menopause? It can be that post menopause people can become anxious. Could you go to your GP or a very accredited counsellor for perhaps some CBT to give you a set of tools to help you get over the anxious periods? You can go through a lifetime of being 'tough' and be hit in later life by anxiety. Please check with your GP for further recommendations, tests, etc. Good luck! And I hope all goes well for you.

I would guess you are a sensitive person and have been affected by the trauma you have experienced. If you do seek professional help, don't be fobbed off with drugs. Learning meditation or finding something (such as music) which soothes you may help.
Losing yourself in a craft is actually very therapeutic. Concentrating your mind on making something helps to relax you.

I would visit your GP first. Anxiety can take many forms and well done for recognising that this is happening.

Your GP can refer you through the IAPT system, or similar, for assessment and they can point you in the right direction.

Personally, I have never found counselling to be much help but I did get some significant and effective help from MIND, who now work closely in your locality to provide targeted help. You can self-refer on line. just go to the web-site if you don't have much faith in your GP.

I wish you well.