Picking mum up

There's a falls team in our area.They use an inflatable type of seat. Her GP would know if there was one close by. If she is a little bit mobile, put a chair in front of her and behind her, ask her to go round on her knees and try to use the front chair to get her to lift herself then sit back on the chair behind. If she can't help at all and is too heavy then call emergency services. But take care of yourself as back injuries are difficult to heal.

Lots of good advice.. protect your back. Do not pick her up. She either can manage to pull herself up onto a chair which you put near her and then up to her feet after a rest. Or you cover her with a blanket with a cushion and you ring 111 or 999. Our immediate reaction is to help someone up, but that is not the best action for them or you. A friend had a badly dislocated shoulder after a "helpful" yank by someone who didn't think first.
Put yourself first now.

She thinks it's funny - well, it's not. You could injure yourself, or even fall over. Also, I am getting the sense that she is a hoarder. get her a wellness check and call Emergency when she falls. If necessary, get her admitted to hospital for observation [trauma, balance, bruising, balance issues] and they might take it further, if you tell them what is happening. Tell your sister you will not take sole responsibility when the next fall happens.

SheepyIzzy

She has a fall alarm, it's a pebble, it comes to my phone, when she wears it "can't be bothered,.too heavy.....I forgot...". We've heard all the excuses.

Normally she has enough umph in her legs to push as I pull, that evening with having one of her gaga moments, she wore herself out (I like to think!)

Ambulance calls around here, you will be waiting for a couple of hours at least!

Fire brigade? She wouldn't like that, talk of the town she says!

She has been assessed! She sits there and smiles! we were at falls therapy Friday morning, mum tells lady her version of truth, I tell her the proper truth! Lady said she's heard it many times this week, "mum won't listen!" She has gone a lot weaker since last year, her hands have gone numb ( GP seen, blood test done.........) She's had the nerve jab in her hip (waste of time) she says, NO ONE can get through to her!

We've had therapists out to see how she walks, they've ALL told her to pull up, walk straight! Her? Frame in front, her bent over. Won't listen. Lady on Friday said (sorry, can't think of word) something slump, to Do with lack of strength in middle. She said they can help, build up strength, given her exercises to do EVERY day until the classes start. So far she hasn't done them and shows no interest in doing them.

Stop nagging me, is what I get off her quite regularly!

Gotta give her 10 out of 10 for bloodymindedness and stubbornness!

I could have written this post , sounds exactly like my mum. Except my mum does wear her alarm pendant , although she doesn’t call it as last time she waited hours for the ambulance.

She needs assessment for falls, you do need to speak to her GP.
My mum had a couple of falls, and she was no lightweight. We had no option but to get paramedics in.
They used an inflatable cushion. Wiggled it under her bum and inflated it with a little pump, so she could be assisted up easy.
After she did it twice I investigated, buying one, I did find them, but I can't remember how much they were but we did consider it.
Amazing after that last fall she didn't do it again.

What excellent advice, TerriS. Very well put together. Thank you.

Basic things to consider - rugs are a death trap - ideally remove them or secure to the floor with carpet tape; footwear should cover the whole foot and fit comfortably; feet - does she need to see a podiatrist? Eyes - when were they last checked? Balance - is she able to stand with her arms outstretched for a few seconds? Consider a local chair yoga class or a strength and balance class - your local community centre or library is likely to have a notice board with this information. Is she orientated in time and place? What is the sensation like in her feet? Is she taking blood pressure medication - if you have a BP monitor check it when she is sat down and again when standing up (make sure she has been sat for at least 15 minutes before doing). Is she drinking enough (water!) or too much (alcohol!)?

My advice (community matron caring for frail folk) - contact (with her permission) your adult social care service and request a therapist assessment of her needs. Also, chat with the surgery - it’s likely they have a dedicated frailty team that can offer support.

More often than not there is a reason for people falling; most often it can be an infection or imbalance of a chemical in the body. My mother always went off her feet with one of those two things until eventually her mobility left her altogether. As she had dementia she couldn't remember that she was a falls risk, would do the stairs just like OP's Mum and was a real danger to herself. Any attempt at intervention was met with derision. That is why she ended up in a care home.

When this happened with husband the ambulance service told me to contact them. When I apologised for calling them out they said …that is what we are here for.

Our council has a service dedicated to picking up people who have fallen. The staff are fully trained and have all the eqipment at a very reasonable monthly cost. Try asking adult social care or community occupational therapy. They are very quick to attend.

My 75 year old husband has had one leg amputated above the knee, we (my daughter and I) have been told that if he falls to call 999 and not attempt to try and help.

Yes I live with her.

She fell as her legs had probably had done too much.........She has a stairlift, uses it! But she also doesn't like drinking too much as it makes her pee too much, no, not always a UTI, she says it's her prolapse. Before the fall, she decided to have one of her gaga moments, AFTER going up stairs to bed via stairlift, I hear a noise, she's coming down the stairs on foot, I ask her what she's doing, "it's easier!" Then she proceeds to look for her other slippers, then went back up the stairs, very carefully, got onto chair to come back downstairs as she had dropped her stick! .......10 minutes later, I hear thud, she sitting between both bedrooms.

I like the idea of the inflatable chair, I have looked at a few, not sure if they would lift as high as she needs though.

There are tips&tricks to get a fallen person of the floor but none of them are safe for a single person to perform alone. I agree it's much safer to call for help, and waiting for that making your mom comfortable and if she's not hurt help her sit up a bit. YANBU and yes your mom is taking it as "funny"!

Thanks Annsixty for the tip about the inflatable mattress. I have an electric single Active Era inflatable bed. It inflates in 2 minutes to chair height and is very firm and comfortable. My husband has dementia and poor balance and I like to think ahead so if a problem arises we have a solution and the inflatable bed idea is brilliant! One more foreseen problem to tick off the list. Next on list …how do I get him to wear his hearing aids!!! 😂

When our Mum became frail, and had a series of falls, my brother and I were told that under no circumstances should we try to lift her. We were to dial 999 and get the professionals to do this. This way we would not be responsible for a) injuring her, or b) injuring ourselves.

Before she passed away at home, we had carers in several times a day to care for her. They also told us not to life her ourselves.

This really does make sense, as if her family carers are injured, who would care for Mum?

I hope this helps.

Care call !!

When the mattress is fully inflated the person is able to sit up with minimal help.
After a minute or two they can ,with help swing their legs over the side,it is quite high when full inflated .
They can then be helped to stand.
I can assure you it is far simpler and safe than it sounds.
It is similar to what the ambulance and care all use.

You should not try lifting your mother yourselves. You can call an ambulance, they will come and get her up but it may be some time before they get to you as emergencies come first. Adult Social Care may provide equipment if she keeps falling and they offer advice.

Even I as a qualified carer was not allowed to lift a fallen person. Always had to be call an ambulance. You never know what damage has been done. As people age their brain shrinks and a fall can tear some of the blood vessels and cause a bleed. A fall is often the start of a persons decline. I would also say that you could dislocate shoulders etc if a lift has been done wrong. I would contact age concern and se if they can help. -

Annsixty this sounds a brilliant idea.

Thank you, ixion, for the useful Age UK link, which I've found informative for myself and also I've sent it to a friend who's had falls.
I agree 100% with GNs here - do not try to lift a fallen adult who can't get up. SheepIzzy, IMO your mother has to accept the consequences of her (chosen) domestic circumstances. Lots of hepful advice here, so hopefully it is useful for you.

Would she be able to roll onto her hands and knees? You could then bring a chair over and she might be able to haul herself up.

Interested in inflatable mattress idea for my DH who’s getting doddery, but can’t work how the person gets up off the mattress.

She sounds really bloody minded. You can't afford to damage your back lifting her and really must call an ambulance or 111 every time this happens. They take as long as they take.
And stress that she needs to carry the pebble, if she fell over without it she would have to wait until you come in.
It's not clear to me from your posts whether you live with her? If you don't then I think that she should be in a care home. Probably if you do too.