loneliness, weekends and having a routine

I find there is so much on at weekends but I have regular things I do at weekends and I tend to miss out on them. If I had fewer commitments I'd have days out at weekends, as I can for example get to several big cities including London that I can set off early using my senior rail card and no peak time fares. I'd visit the exhibitions/interesting places etc that I want to see instead of during the week when I can't set off early because of how much extra it would.cost me. I do go to church on a Sunday morning and tend to have either a lazy afternoon doing some crafty stuff, or reading, or having a bit of a clear up, or some gardening and spend the evening watching good stuff on TV. Sometimes I'll go see a friend a bit later.
We're all different what we like, what we have to do etc.
Maybe think of it as a rhythm rather a routine, and you can feel a bit fewer to do things whenever suits you. Important to have things to help you know what day it is so you don't forget to do things you want to do, or go on the wrong day!

Yes I understand completely. Me too. But no it's irrational. Probably a throwback from when you worked and weekends were special I've just tried and treat it like another day and say when I get up, Sometimes days like this end up being really lovely days. It's getting a mindset I think. I allow myself to watch more TV. I go onto the programs I've recorded and haven't watched and make myself a pot of tea., I'll try a bit of gratitude and look around My home, I go for a walk and call into Costa As the one where I live has a lovely atmosphere and somebody always chats, There is a Community café if fancy it, After all, it's just another day hope it gets better , A few fairs are on at the moment for Christmas and you don't need any excuse to sit in and be cosy with this weather

I volunteer at a charity shop and know how short of volunteers most are. Weekend sessions are usually available and it’s a very sociable thing to do as well as feeling really useful.

My housebound friend who is confined to an armchair all day enjoys visits from a lady who is an active volunteer befriender. Both are happy to talk and listen. I think this is a good idea and might be organised by Age Uk if it appeals.

Could you start a book group or some activity you enjoy & put a notice up in a local store ?

Did you think of joining a ‘ dating’ site. Not for partner but for friendship. I know Bumble has the option of finding just friends of both sexes. You could find some weekend company I’m sure. And new people who you might not come across in your current situation can bring new interests and fresh air into your life.

Do you have a theatre or Arts Centre near you? I volunteer as an usher at my local theatre. I have made many friends of all ages with my fellow volunteers and there is always a performance on a Saturday evening. It is a really rewarding way to spend free time.

Hi Navy and Peach, Why not join U3A , there should be one for your area. My local one has activities specifically for weekends.

Please excuse the lack of grammar, because I am using the microphone, because it is too hard to type all this on my little keyboard on my iPhone

Do you have a Facebook account?
Even though I am married and have grown adult child at home at the time. Just before Covid I was feeling the same. All my friends were busy every weekend and I seem to spend a lot of time at home which my hubby was happy to do because he worked hard all week. I found a Facebook group in my local area that was called over 40 in Young at heart social group. I joined this group and after a couple of months I finally took those first scary steps and went to a lunch they had organised . This went well and I slowly met people who I clicked with and we would go out and see live bands who played 70s and 80s covers? Also threw this group. I met a woman who had a very similar outlook on life to me and we immediately clicked and became best friends. I have since been a couple of short cruises with these women while my husband is happy to stay at home because he knows he can trust me and I am definitely not interested in hooking up with any other men.!
If you don’t have Facebook I would strongly suggest opening a Facebook account and just in the search engines for groups look for social groups in your area. Just type in your suburb name and social group or a few other keywords that you might like and see what comes up it’s to put your feet out there, but once you take those first steps your life can only change for the better !

As someone else suggested, I leave all my housework till the weekend, when I usually don’t speak to anyone, as I prefer to avoid the happy families/loving couples (I am a widow). I have a luxury breakfast on both days, and buy a real newspaper, which takes me hours to read.

Our local u3a has a meet up group for ‘Members on their own’ for people who live alone, whether single divorced or widowed, who would like to meet up with similarly-minded people for a range of activities.

I am happy to say that since my DH died I have at last come to terms with loneliness and learned that being alone need not equate to being lonely.
Yes Sundays can be hard, absolutely the worst day of the week when everybody else seems to be hosting family roast dinners (only they’re not) so I take evasive action and a friend, also widowed and I sometimes meet up for a pub or carvery Sunday lunch.

While I enjoy different activities (to distinguish the different days of the week!) I have also come to enjoy my own company, my dog, a book or film on tv - or even a solitary trip to the cinema on a Sunday afternoon.
There’s nothing to stop me going for a window shopping trip, out for a coffee and a cake or to a gallery if I feel the need of an outing and I am happy to go on my own.
My conclusion has been that you can’t alter the circumstances around you but you can adapt or alter how you react to them

There is a different feel to weekends isn’t there. Years ago, after my marriage ended and my son went to uni I was fine in the week because I worked part time. But weekends were awful. One Saturday night I phoned the Samaritans and said I’m not suicidal and I don’t want to take up your time but I just wanted to hear someone’s voice. I then joined a singles group which went on walks at weekends which was a game changer.

I'm fine during the day but, evenings and night till morning are so long and quite,

your feelings are perfectly valid

Indeed.

If you feel lonely at the weekend, or any other time, then you are lonely in my book. People vary enormously in how much company they want or need and your feelings are perfectly valid. I volunteer with the Royal Voluntary Service at my local hospital and they have jobs at the weekend as well as weekdays. A trolley service goes around the wards on Saturday and also volunteers provide cups of tea and a listening ear to people in A & E. on Saturday and Sunday when usually the unit is at its busiest. The jobs are for just two or three hours but give a good structure to the day. Talking to people who are having hard times really focuses the mind on your own blessings. It takes me nearly an hour to get to the hospital and an hour back so occupies at least half a day. Hospitals are also 24x7 operations so its easy to forget its the weekend altogether once you are on shift.

Thank you for these posts it’s good to read that other people are lonely, even though I don’t wish it for them. I am chronically ill and cannot see people very often as it just too exhausting. The payback is too great sometimes too. So I spend many hours on my own. There is a difference to feeling alone, and being lonely I find. I wish everyone well.

Meetup? It’s a website where individuals organise lots of different events, 7 days a week.

I cant imagine my weekends without my dog. I would never have believed they are so much company.

I was widowed around six months ago and both my grownup children live overseas as I used to do for many years until I relocated to the UK. I have found that it’s fairly easy to keep oneself busy throughout the week and I often visit nearby towns on Saturdays but I miss not being able to go out for lunch on Sundays with my husband. I too have recently joined a U3A Sunday Lunch group and have found this is a great way to meet different people as well as trying different gastropubs.

Do you have public transport in your area? what about trying a bus trip to another town or varieties of towns. Useful for finding craft items in charity shops too

Yes ramblers is a good idea. I am also in a group that meets for brunch monthly on Sunday morning in a local restaurant. There may be others who would like to do this if you ask around?

OP in my opinion, don’t think you’re lonely…you have FOMO!
There are plenty of people on here that are true lonely and cannot get out and about in the week due to illness or mobility problems..consider helping at food banks or homeless shelters or food kitchens if you feel the need to be with people all the time 😀

RosiesMaw2

Why the necessity for a routine?
It comes across to me as a straitjacket acquired from childhood on - daily timetable at school, commuting and working hours, a domestic routine which decrees washing on Monday, ironing on Tuesday, changing the beds on Wednesday etc
All of these tell us where to be and what to do with our lives.
The lovely thing about retirement is that you can at last be spontaneous, devise time and space for YOU and act as the spirit moves you
Unless of course you shrink from this freedom and would rather take refuge in a routine as many elderly people -my late father included- seem to do or did.

I like some routine. Pegs to hang my day on.