Friend having leg amputated on friday

I have been thinking of your friend Bazza. I've been supporting a friend who had his leg removed last September, but he has had amazing treatment and support from the NHS (Bournemouth Hospital and also Salisbury Hospital). It's so unfair when this is not offered in every area.

I wish your friend all the very best in her recovery

Been thinking of her too, so thanks for the updates.

Hope you find her in good spirits on Monday and ready to face recovery, with full support.

Just a quick update on my friend. Her daughter went to see her today and she was surprisingly good, so fabulous news. I’m going to see her on Monday. Thank you all so much for the advice and kind wishes.

Thank you very much for your update, Bazza, what a terrible wait for her daughter, she must have been worried sick.
I hope she finds her Mum comfortable with suitable pain relief when she visits. Thinking of you all, I will remember your friend in my prayers. 🙏💕

How lovely of you to remember Granmarie. The surgery did eventually go ahead at about five o’clock after telling her than it may not as they were very busy. Of course she was nil my mouth all day. She was able to let her daughter know that she was going into theatre, who rang the hospital several times asking if she was out, and they kept saying no she wasn’t. Finally someone looked at the schedule and said oh she was out by 7.30. I don’t care how busy staff are, that call would have taken literally seconds. I’m so cross that her poor daughter had hours of unnecessary worry, especially as she was told that her mum may not survive.

Anyway, thankfully she did, but is in a lot of pain, she takes so many drugs I’m afraid that they won’t be able to give her anything strong like morphine. Her daughter is on her way to see her now.

Unfortunately her care has been dreadful for the last two years, so we’re all hoping that once she gets over this she will have some sort of quality of life, although of course it will be different. I just hope she will be mentally strong enough.

Anyway, many many thanks to all of you who responded. I’m going to pass the whole thread to her daughter.

Hello, Bazza, thinking of you and your friend. I hope the surgery went well and she is receiving good care and support for her physical and emotional rehabilitation and recovery. 💐💐

Mum was immunocompromised and had RA as well. In mum's case, they had to remove the knee joint so that the area could heal, and used manuka honey dressings and colloidal silver dressings because of antibiotic resistance to the bugs in the wound. She didn't have a knee joint for a while! (Bearing in mind this was at a private hospital in another country where she lived.)

If the surgeons still want to amputate, see if they can use manuka honey dressings and or colloidal silver dressings to aid healing.

Best of luck to your friend!

Funnily enough I was just thinking about my mum having her leg amputated a few years before she died. Then I read this. She was in quite a lot of pain afterwards so make sure she gets adequate pain relief - they only gave my mum paracetamol because of all her other health issues. It will be life changing as she will need a wheelchair and will have to learn how to transfer between that and the sofa, chair or bed. It will take some time but eventually she’ll be able to live a normal but different life. They won’t let her out of hospital until she can transfer successfully. My mum went to a rehabilitation centre for a few weeks to learn the skills she needed to be independent at home.

I do country dancing with other of approximately my age (73).

Our instructor is a woman in her late sixties or early seventies, who has had a similar amputation to the one your friend is facing. Once the wound had healed she started physical therapy and has been fitted with a prosthetic leg, so she can walk with one elbow crutch, propel herself, with or without her artifical leg in a wheel-chair, drive a station wagon with automatic gear and a lift, so she can fold up her wheel-chair herself and load it into the vehicle and competently lead a dance group.

I am not suggesting you should tell your friend this right now - that would as you and I both know be tactless, but bear it in mind for later. These days even people of our ages can lead active lives with artificial limbs once the first shock has worn off.

There’s another really great charity called Steel bones steelbone.co.uk/
They have mentors who will see you through this journey for at least six months

This sounds so tough for your friend. It also sounds strange - just wondering why her knee hasn’t healed? Has she had the best treatment? I think questions should asked. This seems a bit odd to me because I’ve had 2 new hips, two new knees and also have rheumatoid arthritis for which I have to inject myself once a fortnight. So I am therefore immuno- suppressed. Obviously, I am likely to get infections. But I came through all those operations with some cellulitis which was conquered with longish course of flucloxacillin . I don’t know her whole story of course, but could be worth checking.

Many thanks for all your replies. I’m going to send the whole thread to my friend’s daughter, she will be so grateful. I have to say that my friend has had absolutely zero support, and after twelve weeks the physio has come to see her twice. No offer of any kind of counselling or what to expect after the surgery.

I do think that if she was in a better frame of mind she could perhaps see this as a new beginning to live without the agony she has suffered with this leg for so many years that it will never improve, and her life will be better off without it. She couldn’t walk before the knee replacement. She’s often lonely, and whilst she’s reluctant to leave her house and her pretty little garden, maybe she would be happier in some kind of sheltered accommodation nearer her daughter. However, I know I can be a bit bossy and she is very stubborn so I don’t say too much. I know her daughter agrees with me.

Baggs, 'One gets physio advice (instructions, sheets of exercises) even after a broken wrist. is not quite true. In May 2022 I fell and sheared the top off my femur resulting in a hip replacement. Whilst in hospital the physios came to get me out of bed for the first time after the op, then daily for a couple of days to walk me up the corridor, then I was discharged, I had no advice on exercises, no exercise sheet at home and not one single follow up appointment, whether with the doctor or physio department.

counselling IS available on the NHS! I have regular therapy via a service called talking therapies, which is a self refer scheme, and your Dr can refer you, they offer one to one counselling, group therapy or online courses that are a bit like power point presentations that you do at your own pace all for FREE! I have done a chronic pain support course, managing moods course, and also had six months of one to one therapy for my anxiety panic attacks PTSD and grief. I have used this service in Surrey, Berkshire and Hampshire, each county call it something different but if you google talking therapies NHS and then your county it will come up in the search engine

Baggs

A leg amputation is indeed a devastating thing but surely your friend will get advice about how to improve her mobility (rehabilitation) while she is in hospital? One gets physio advice (instructions, sheets of exercises) even after a broken wrist.

I would also presume the team she is under will talk to her about prosthesis and so forth. Surely?

Whatever treatment she gets in hospital, support and encouragement from friends and family will be valuable to her as well, especially on the emotional side.

The physio treatment seems very variable depending on locality. My uncle, who lives in a home because he has dementia, had a leg amputation and he gets no physio and often his wheelchair has gone missing at the home so he can not leave his room. he can no longer go to the toilet unaided but doesn't get help with this and is put in adult nappies instead. It is very degrading for him and I. His lucid moments he hates it.
I can understand how devastating this will be . It is important to keep the pressure up on providing physio, and provision of an artificial limb if suitable, crutches and so wheelchair, and it seems to me those that shout the loudest can access help and support more readily that those that don't want to make a nuisance of themselves

Thank goodness for the very helpful posts on here. I hope you find some help and advice for your friend from resources mentioned by for example Elegran and others.

A friend of mine had both of her legs removed many years ago. It was due to a circulation problem I think. She’s in an older peer group than me and is the only surviving person in that group. She lives in an adapted bungalow and is out every day on her mobility scooter exercising her dog ( she recently lost one and has replaced her with two). She was, even before her operation, a force of nature but she amazes me.

A friend who had an upper limb amputation wasn’t given prosthesis advice/consultation for months after.
Make sure she gets a lot of physio exercises and DOES them, also to insist on prosthetic stuff very soon after the operation.

My cousin had her leg amputated due to life long type 1 diabetes. She was in a lot of pain with abscesses which wouldn't heal etc and was so much happier once the amputation had taken place. She was able to use a prosthetic leg and made very good progress and more importantly, was pain free.

It sounds dreadful that this has happened after a knee replacement.

A friend has had a leg amputation after an accident. He is only in his 50s but we saw him the other day and he is so positive, still does so much for his parents and his sister, who is disabled, she said he is so helpful to her too.

I hope your friend gets a lot of good advice afterwards and also advice on how to boost her immune system before and after the surgery.

Granmarie - what an amazing story, and what an amazing woman, with wonderful friends.

The major problem for your friend Bazza, is her weak immune system, which makes fighting this awful thing so much harder. Hope she gets all the support, medical and otherwise, she needs.

Our family friend lost her leg two years ago next week. She was a fairly active, slim, 79 year old, not diabetic. It happened very suddenly after blood clots. She was admitted to hospital in terrible pain, surgery took place to attempt to save her leg but within a week the surgeons told her family that amputation was necessary to save her life, it had gone beyond trying to save her leg.

Her amputation was well above the knee, no prosthetic offered, but this lady has a wonderful positive outlook and accepted her situation from the start, saying,
'I'll just have to get on with it.'
She uses a wheelchair, her house has been adapted so she can navigate the ground floor, she also has a stairlift fitted. She continues to live alone in the house she came to as a bride with daily help from family and carers. Family and friends take her out two or three times a week, to family gatherings, church events, shopping trips and hospital/ GP appointments.
She learned very quickly how to transfer from the wheelchair to the front passenger seat, ( at first using a 'turntable' gadget on the seat, then a plastic bag, very good tip, now she can get in and out of the car without any aids.
She really is an inspiration, I can't begin to imagine how I would ever cope in her situation.

Bazza, I wish your friend well for her surgery and recovery/ rehabilitation. You are a very concerned friend to her, stay close and just be there for her as she faces this life saving, but life changing surgery.
Keep in touch with her family and visit her as soon as possible after her surgery. Prepare yourself for the first visit, it will be hard for both of you. My sisters and I visited our friend in hospital, a week after her surgery. She was very brave and matter of fact about it, so we took our lead from her as we had been prepared for tears.
Thinking of you both.

How devastating ! Thinking of your friend and you

pascal30

keepingquiet

Why should you say anything positive? This is clearly a difficult thing for her to deal with. If it was my friend I would just help her through it by listening and supporting her. She has to find her own way though it.

I agree about the listening.. You could also contact the Hospital's Chaplaincy Service and ask someone from the team to visit her regularly (with her agreement of course).

That’s exactly what I was going to say! Don’t worry about what you should say, rather concentrate on listening to what she wants to say. Sometimes by trying too hard to say something positive it can seem we are dismissing the person’s worries.
I’d encourage her daughter to contact some of the services mentioned here, and just follow your friend’s lead, as everyone is different in how they deal with things, some will talk of nothing else, while others will want to talk about everything but.

keepingquiet

Why should you say anything positive? This is clearly a difficult thing for her to deal with. If it was my friend I would just help her through it by listening and supporting her. She has to find her own way though it.

I agree about the listening.. You could also contact the Hospital's Chaplaincy Service and ask someone from the team to visit her regularly (with her agreement of course).