Black Dog 24

Aw HVDY It must have been really dreadful watching your little baby and child going through so much. You must have been worried sick. My mum talked of having to leave my little sister in hospital. Thank goodness your son doesn't suffer as badly as an adult.
How have you been today. Do hope you're not still coughing and/or wheezing. The steroids should be starting to work by now I think. -same as the antibiotics. Yes, DH was sent for a bone scan last Yr after he started steroids.
Doodle All the emotions you are feeling (and trying to divert from feeling with activities) it would be amazing if you didn't feel worn out and tired. Though I know keeping busy helps you.
Hope you slept last night.
I'd have been prepared to call PALS but didn't have to. We called 8-30 DH got straight through and nurse took down details for the on call Rheumatologist. Got back later to say if the 10mg GP put him on doesn't help by Monday he's to ring nurse again. It's not helped so far -he's still got headache and extreme fatigue.
Wyllow Perhaps you did walk too far yesterday , but feeling so emotional takes an awful lot out of you too, I know. Hope you're not sickening for anything and the shivering has stopped. Warm hug.
EllieAnne Sorry you're still feeling low . A walk by the sea can help and you're right , watching the waves can be relaxing- think it's the rhythm of them constantly heaving and breaking. Hope your choir practice helps later.
Scaredycat Hope you're OK. X

Went out this morning for a coffee and wander around a couple of shops. DH bought a flat cap( Baker boy style) from Peacocks Think they're quite fashionable for young ones now. DH loves hats and he wore it straight away and I think he had a spring in his step for a little while.🙂
Stripping wallpaper from kitchen. He's not well but think he wants to have something going on , but we shouldn't be starting it as both not well enough. His head and jaw pain still there.
Done some work on doll.

Hoping everyone is OK and love to all . Thinking of those not in and hoping you're doing OK.



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Oh dear I forgot to put SweetPeaSue,s name on her reply.
Xx

Hi all
Having to keep phoning over and over again must be so frustrating and tiring. I feel so sorry for you both. Hope you,ve managed to get through today. You must both be worn out with it all. Your posts don’t need to be helpful - they are a way to share your thoughts and worries and for us to support you as much as we can. You are always there for us. Just take care of yourselves kind friend.
HVDY- sorry it’s GD2 whose FiL is poorly. He is at home but I think has a hospital bed. GD2 and his wife are both nurses too..
You made me laugh out loud at the squidgy flip flops- I thought I was the only one to get caught short as much!!
I hope the steroids are still helping- I don’t know anything about them at all.
Your Son 2 had a rough time when he was younger- am I right that Asthma and eczema sometimes go together?
Doodle- you certainly keep busy- no wonder you dropped off during the talk. Must have been a bit boring - you should have recorded it so you could listen to it when you can’t sleep!!
You’re right emotion does take it out of you- both happy and sad.
It was DH Birthday yesterday so we had breakfast in town. I had booked dinner at one of the pubs in our village but walking past I saw that it was closed til further notice with technical probs!! Nobody thought to tell us though😩 So went to cross the road to the other pub and a car went past and created a Tsunami and soaked me!!! So feeling cheesed off I went home as DH had his DS making a Bday visit. We then went off to M &S and bought some Dine In meals and had the family round- so DH had a proper BD after all.🎂
NannyG4 - you too get much comfort from your Hospice- what wonderful places they are. A walk and Talk is a lovely idea and I,m glad you enjoyed it.
Yes this coming Saturday will be a huge step for you to take but being with your loved ones will help you get through it.i hope it’s somewhere you can go and sit when the warmer weather comes.
Enjoy your Pilates and coffee- you can always give housework a miss!!
Wyllow- you are right - you sound so down and finding it hard to climb out. I wish we could help you more. The lack of human contact is not doing you any good- you don’t want to do stuff as there is no incentive that you can see.
Talking to your carer may have stirred you up a bit but being able to talk with her is what you need. She could help you come back into the world again.
Sending you a big warm hug.

Love to all. Hope all those who haven’t been in for a while are
Having some good days and being able to do some of the things they love.

Wyllow3 Yes, he did. Son1 had Pyloric Stenosis as a baby, until he was one, then had a gluten intolerance and was on a GF diet from 18 months to 4yrs. Nothing compared to what your little GD has had and still has to cope with, poor little soul. How have you been today?

EllieAnne You're lucky to be near to a beach. I'm sorry you still feel low. Hope the choir helps to raise your spirits later. We all keep plodding on, what's the alternative? As Wyllow says, koko.

Went walking by the sea today. Love the sound of the waves. I hoped it would lift my mood but sadly no.got choir tonight. Just have to keep on plodding on.

I’m feeling poorly and low so brief tonight. The walk with my carer (weather behaved) was probably a bit too long (hence shivery reaction) and what we talked about stirred things up.

Sweetpeasue that was really frustrating and must have made you feel very low trying for so long to get through. I hope you get through if you ring early tomorrow.

Thank goodness your sleep was a bit better, HVDY Your Son 2 really had a lot of childhood illness, didnt he.

I think you are so right Doodle, containing the emotions really does take it out of you. I hope tonights sleep is a bit better.

Big waves for all absent BD’s. xx

Doodle You have busy days. Hope you sleep well tonight.

SweetpeaSue Son2 has had Eczema since he was 2 weeks old (still has it very bad but tries to control it, allergy tests in his teens showed Dustmites, Lanolin, alcohol (in many toiletries), Nickel. He gets worse when he's stressed. The Asthma was (eventually) diagnosed at 9 months of age. He used to have Ventolin syrup, got his first inhaler at about 12-18 months old, via a spacer. He used to be in hospital so often. He uses an inhaler occasionally now (he's 41 next week). Your husband must be sick of it all. Poor man. Does he go for bone density scans? I've got to go for one because of being on steroids the summer before last.

HVDY You must have been sad to see your little son suffering from Asthma. My sons had eczema on back of legs and were constantly scratching.
So sorry you've been wheezing all day. I hoped the steroids would halt that.Hope you sleep tonight.
GCA requires high starting dose of at least 40mg steroids but it's a long haul thing. They've to be tapered extremely gradually and usually can take at least 2 yrs to get off them.
Doodle You sound so tired . Hope you get a good rest tonight. Don't worry- I will keep fighting.x
.

NannyG4 keeping busy is the key for me. Been to church this morning. Hospice and knitting this afternoon. Didn’t sleep well last night and so tired now. Yes I am tired most of the time.. I think it’s all the emotion drains the strength out of you.
HVDY glad the steroids are helping at last. Not sure what the talk was about. I think I was asleep before it even started.
Wyllowone day you will find your way back to old Wyllow and when you do we’ll all be cheering you on from the sidelines. Glad tum a bit better today.
Sweetpeasue try phoning the hospital switch board and asking them when the line is manned. Tell them you Go wants you to make contact and there isn’t an answering machine. Or phone PALS and tell them the same thing. Keep fighting to get through.
Scaredycat hope you’ve had a good day. It’s been pouring here but lots of sun too.
Sorry for such a short post tonight. I’m struggling to stay awake. Take care all x

Wyllow3 Yes, a few tests but I hope the GP will get a better idea of what's wrong. Sorry if you've said previously, but are your meds being monitored ok? You've been low like this for quite a long time now. I hope you might get out with the carer tomorrow (weather permitting, it rained almost all day here today).

SweetpeaSue I'm on the steroids for a week. When Son2 was a toddler (2 or 3yrs) he used to be on 12 for the 1st day, decreasing daily until 1/2 a tablet on the last day, but GPs now give a fairly high dose for a short time. I suppose for a long-term condition like your husband's, they try to keep it at as low a dose as possible because of side-effects. How utterly useless that "helpline" sounds. I hope you have better luck tomorrow. I slept ok, thanks for asking. Woke a couple of times. Disappointingly, I've been wheezing all day (even when sitting doing nothing). and coughing still, but less than before.

How's everyone else's day been? x

NannyG4 Thankyou for caring. You have so much to cope with yourself. The Walk and Talk groups at the hospice sound so helpful. My mum died in a hospice nearly 25 yrs ago and I know I'd have found such a group extremely helpful. Thinking of you on Saturday and pleased you have family to share in the process and have reciprocal support from each other. Family is so important.
Much love.
Wyllow You sound so very down. I do hope today with the carer you can share some of your feelings and perhaps have a small walk. You need some company to keep communicating so you are not so isolated. Wish you could have carer more often. Keep up the movicol to keep tum problems at bay. Take care of yourself , even if its for us. We care.
HVDY 60 miles travelling to work does sound a long way , though some of DHs work mates had to travel long distances too. I'd be concerned -- but they'll only do what they want won't they.
I hope you had a better night and the cough has stayed away. Quite a large dose of steroids there - are you expected to take them for long? DH has been on them since Nov before last, just over a Yr though no idea how long he'll take them now.
Thanks for letting me know that it's possible to get through to call line. They're not taking messages on this one at present .

No luck with Rheumatology call - line so far. DH was in queue for literally 40 mins with me the same on my phone. Nowhere to leave message. Called again at 11 , the same. Line closes at 1. Will try calling earlier tomorrow.

Hope everyone is coping with their day.
Love to all. Sorry can't address everyone , a bit doped up. Take care.x

That comment about a big family was for you Scaredycat sorry to miss your name out.

I’m glad you got to see the GP HVDY. Thats quite a lot of tests ahead and meds to take - I really hope they help. You’ve had so many bad nights. Glad even todays meds helped a bit.

Aw Doodle, different reasons, but I realise some of our feelings can be similar and I do understand those whats the point moments many express here at times. I know where toilets are wherever I go! Glad you got out to sit fit. You made me smile at the falling asleep in the talk!

EllieAnne I’m not great at keeping in touch with family but feel even the odd WhatsApp is important -so keep on with your daughter x

I was so sad to read yesterday about your GD3 FiL x
My, you have a ginormous family. Just hope your poor niece gets her operation soon.

So only some parial help from the GP, Sweetpeasue I suppose the GP feels caustious about over prescribing the steroids. I didnt realsie there was a Rheumatologist helpline but so hope you get them tmorrow. I'm not suprised you've had a lot of aches and pains.

Warm Wave NannyG4. You do well to gt out to what you do. May housework be done tmorrow!

Dressing gown day - tum better, I didnt take anything - I am truly stuck, dont want to cook/wash for myself or take rubbish out or anything - the old Wyllow is a long way - carer tomorrow.

Best nights possible especially for BD's who have had bad nights.

SweetpeaSue Thank you. Actually, since I've had today's steroids 5mg x 8), I've hardly coughed. You and your husband are having a rough time. See how he goes with the steroids but ask for another increase if he doesn't improve on the 10mg. I was given a number for a Rheumatologist "helpline" that wasn't manned. It was an answerphone thing and I used to leave messages - some were picked up a day or 2 later and I was called. Keep trying to get through. I really hope you both have a better night and day tomorrow.

Doodle The talk couldn't have been very interesting but perhaps you were so tired. Best wishes for a good night's sleep.

NannyG4 The GP today said if I had an allergy or Asthma, the antihistamines, inhaler and air purifier would all help. (they haven't). She seems to agree with the nurse I saw 2 weeks ago, that it's COPD. We'll see.... Pilates and coffee sounds good. Housework - it will wait a bit. Sad time on Saturday but as you say, another step in the process. Your family will get you through it.

Wyllow3 Best wishes for a better day tomorrow
EllieAnne Hope you're getting out and the weather is decent where you are.

DH out with DS1 this evening but will be home soon. I chatted to Son1 on the 'phone earlier, he went for a 2nd interview for a new job......60 miles away, 5 days a week. I think he's mad but he'll do what he thinks is right. Hope ALL BDers have a good rest x

Good Evening. I’ve not posted for a couple of days and feel I’m behind with everyone’s news, so apologise for my late response to all your news….

Doodle, how are you, you sounded so tired. Grief is so so exhausting and I think we’re so tired from overthinking all the time. Pleased you managed sitfit, at least you can be tired but have something to show for it. Glad you’re still enjoying your time at the hospice and church, so comforting. Do take care and be kind to yourself, rest when you need to. I don’t mind being on my own sometimes, but like you feel a bit lighter when I’ve been in company.
Sweetpeasue. Sending you love, isn’t life tough sometimes….
HVDY…..Do you think you could be allergic to cats, trial and error to find out. Cats are so comforting though.
Wyllow3 💐💐
Nanny2507…Thankyou for your kind offer…I will pm you, so thoughtful 💐

Today I’ve been to the hospice Walk and Talk group, I do enjoy the company, such nice likeminded people. This Saturday we are going to scatter DH’s ashes, an emotional day but we’ll all be together ……another step in the grieving process, so hard….
I have Pilates and coffee tomorrow, no other plans, so will try and motivate myself to do some housework….

Love, strength and prayers to you all. I’m so sorry I’ve not mentioned everyone but I do think of you all….fondest love…

Wyllow I order how you’ve been today. Life isn’t easy is it. Did you manage to get out.?
Ellie Anne Candy NannyG4* Nanny nadateturbe thinking of you all. I’m so tired tonight I can’t write much but I hope you’re all ok. M

HVDY I hope your meds are starting to help. I had a good time at sit fit. It’s gentle but energetic. Yes I get caught out about the toilet too. It’s a worry when I go out,
Sweetpeasue your posts are fine. You don’t need to be helpful you just can tell us how you are. I would persevere with the rheumatology help line. Keep trying if you don’t get a reply or phone the switchboard and ask when the line is manned. Sometimes you just have to keep ringing. I’ve done it before many times for DH.
Sorry you’ve got your own troubles too. Not nice being in so much pain. Between you, you really need the Go to get his act together. Thank you for your kindness and your prayers.
Scaredycat so sorry to hear the bad news about your GD3s FIL. So sad. He sounds a lovely man.
We have always got on with the other grandparents. Sadly other grandma lost her Dh when our youngest grandchild was 8 months old. We meet up as a family often.
I went for a talk today at the local community hall. I think it was good but as I fell asleep I don’t know what it was about 🤣

HVDY I hope you sleep better tonight. Must be so wearying coughing all the time. Hope the antibiotics get rid of any infection. Unfortunately they can have a bad affect on our guts too.
Scaredycat I am sorry about your DGDs FIL. As you say you've such a large family and many DGC there must also be always something happening to one of them. I've seen many Snowdrops lately. They are such a brave little flower.
Wyllow Just sending you love and such big wishes and prayers for your mental recovery.
LucyD I can imagine the helplessness of the situation you described prior to your bereavement. I've experience of something similar in the past and such divided loyalties place so much stress . I hope as time goes on you can be more at peace and just know that you did everything possible. Sending a gentle hug.
Doodle I'm sorry you're feeling low right now. It must feel bittersweet facing the new season which is full of new life , in the loss of your DH. I think and pray for your healing.

GP has put up steroids to 10mg from his 6 though I don't think it'll be sufficient. He told DH to ring Rheumatologist helpline, which wasn't manned the last time we rang a few times. He thinks it wise to ask Rheumatologist dpt as to the dose he should be on for the return of GCA headache and the bad fatigue he's on. Thinks lower leg rash to do with Vascular though thinks steroids will help. Put up his new BP tablet dose as his BP still too high ,shown in his readings.
Will ring Rheumatology tomorrow.
Aches n pains throughout my body the same.
I don't feel my posts are very helpful but sorry, hard to think right now.

Sending love to all , and those not personally mentioned. Xx

*ScaredyCat. Yes, I'm tired all day but resist the urge to go to sleep (I might go to bed earlier tonight). What a shame about your GD3's FIL. I expect he'll be kept comfortable and on effective pain relief. I hope he manages to stay at home.

What you said about needing a toilet urgently - we've all been like that. I once wet myself entirely in a shop (luckily, I was wearing a maxi dress but flip-flops so they made a loud squelching noise when I walked . As for diarrhoea - many's the time when I've not made it in time and yet we've got a downstairs toilet. It's horrible at the time.

SweetpeaSue How did it go at the doctor's?

HVDY - sorry I didn’t put your name in.Your reply starts Yes my friend………

Hi all
Allsorts- such true words.
Lucyd- sorry you had such a difficult and upsetting period prior to losing your DH. You were strong though as you needed to protect your own wellbeing and were being pulled in all directions.
Once the Summer comes and you will have your new home to look forward to you,ll be able to start seeing friends and socialise more again.- I do hope,so. It’s a sensible decision to not take on any extra hours after April - make time for yourself you,ve earned it.
Yes my friend has an assessment this week and that’s important for her future.
Unfortunately my GD3 FiL is extremely poorly with no hope of recovery- we’re all so shocked - he’s a dear man.
We have 7,GDs including one Step gd and the youngest is 21.
Plus 4 GS inc I Step one. There’s always something going on with one of them!! Little Girl has such lovely times with you all.
Young people help keep us young at heart don’t they.
Glad you got to see the GP and that he’s taking action for you- you must feel shattered a lot,of,the time.
EllieAnne- Sorry you,ve had a worrying week but glad to see you if only for a minute!!
Doodle- thank you yes he’s a wonderful family man and has been so good to our GD2 as she lives away from here but near her DH family.
Glad you have a good relationship with the other Grandma. So nice that you go out together. My Paternal and Maternal GMs didn’t do anything together except Xmas. We used to call it “ The Battle of the Nannas” no falling out but a feeling we all had.
Hope you’ve worked off yesterday’s lunch at Sit Fit- room for a bit of cake now!!
Wyllow- oh dear - we,ve all had a toilet dash somewhere I bet.
The worst is when there isn’t a toilet close by!!! I,m not making light of your tum problems just sympathising as I know how it feels😩Do you still use the Movicol - it’s better if you take it daily.
Sorry your mood is so hard to shake off. You have been so badly damaged - if only you could start being a bit kinder to yourself. I echo Doodle- we want our Old Wyllow back. She is still there!

Love to all

EllieAnne Sorry about your worry again about your DD. I do hope she responds to you soon.
HVDY We started off with online consultations but don't seem to have them now. The GP we see only does F2F and ,though he's young and I've not agreed with some things he's said we can usually get appt if he's there.( He had my DH down for a migraine clinic and didn't believe he had GCA.
Glad they're doing something about your cough and wheezing. Hope the steroids work and you don't have to be on them too long.
Doodle You are so good keeping up your fitness class. I'm sure it will pay off and you'll gain new friends too.

Just going out to DHs GP appt now. Managed to get one this morning.

Doodle Thanks. I hope so, too. I can't stand many more sleepless nights. The spirometry tests will be done at the GP surgery and there are 18 people ahead of me. Just looking at the GP website, all the information is available in 104 different languages! Impressive. Hope the rest of your day goes well and that you have a rest after your exercises. A new neighbour facing us does lunges, squats and all the rest of it at 8.30 every morning (but she's only in her 20s and slim, unlike me ).

Ellie Anne I don’t think our children have any idea how much we worry about them. Hope your daughter is ok.
Sweetpeasue I’m glad you’ve got an appointment with the GP just a shame it’s not today. Hope you get somewhere tomorrow
Wyllow I’m so sorry you’re in this state. I feel quite miserable so can understand a bit of what you’re going through. I do hope you can get back to being our old Wyllow.
HVDY hope the new meds help. Shame they can’t get your spirometry done earlier.

EllieAnne Sorry you've had worries. Have you been able to get out lately?

Doodle Glad you got out for a meal with the other Gran. You're wise to keep as busy as possible (my brother just sits alone and overthinks everything). Hope your fitness class goes well today.

SweetpeaSue Hope your husband gets seen tomorrow. Our surgery has an online consultation form, where a patient can be triaged then dealt with accordingly. Do you have anything like that? It certainly saves waiting in a call queue.

Wyllow3 Your shopping trip went awry then. Hope you'll have abetter tum day todya.

I saw a GP about the wheezing and coughing. Got steroids and antibiotics both for a week, and a different BP tablet (told to stop the current one). Blood tests on Friday, chest x-ray next Tues, to try to ascertain whether I've got Asthma or COPD, whilst waiting for spirometry test (April).

Hope ALL BDers have a decent day. It's sunny here but cold, so I'm doing boring chores and DH is painting the recently-plastered bedroom.