Feeling so sad

Sorry you are feeling so sad, secc. I didn't want to just walk on by so here's a question: if you "just want to rest" as you say, why don't you? You don't have to do things just to please others. Might it be worth a try?

I speak as one who rests whenever I need to and am able to.

You need to look after yourself secc and not worry about others. Do whatever you feel is best for you. Maybe see your GP again while you are feeling so sad 💐

secc, I just found this quote on @LibraryPath on X: "Be enough for yourself first. The rest of the world can wait."

Secc, so sorry you are feeling so down. I know where you are coming from as I often feel the same. A walk certainly helps me out, especially if I meet someone and have a few words with them. Keep batting in.

I can identify with ‘difficult thoughts’. It’s possible that your present medication isn’t doing the trick. There are many different ADs, as I’m sure you know. I would recommend going back to your doctor and telling him how things are.

This is a difficult time of year for those of us who suffer with depression but it sounds as though the current miserable grey days aren’t the only reason for your feelings. Depression robs one of motivation to do anything as you will know. A different medication or increased dosage of your present one may make a big difference, so do go back to the doctor. There is no shame in needing medication. In my experience husbands who don’t suffer similarly don’t understand and dislike discussing it for the umpteenth time!

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad and that you have had so much time having to deal with this. Chronic illness like yours is very challenging for both you and your partner. I always think that someone who has not suffered with depression or anxiety must find it very hard to even begin to understand it.

I wonder if it would help to try and eliminate some of the "shoulds" that are ticking around in your head, like feeling you should want to go out. You are not obliged to feel that - you might choose to go out even though you do not greatly want to as you feel it might be a good thing to do - but the fact that you do not want to is not a failing.

I do think that Baggs's quote above is really worth taking to heart.

Women especially tend to feel that they must put the needs of others first.

I reiterate what Luckygirl has said about the shoulds. You need to take time out to rest and please yourself sometimes. I wonder if you have anyone other than your DH to talk to about how you feel. It really helps tremendously if you can talk it through to help to negotiate this new phase of your life.

Thank you so much everyone, I have read all your kind words and they are all so true and so comforting.

DH has been by my side through the good and bad times and I understand how difficult it is for him too.

To anyone who suffers and understands I send my kindest thoughts as we all take life one step at a time.

I’m sorry you’re so sad, secc.
Do you really have to accompany your dh? Can he not go out on his own, At least some of the time?

Arrange time for yourself. Tell your husband which days you would like to stay at home (happily Alone) so that he doesn't try and make plans for you and then tell him that's what you need and that is what you are doing. Time to take the bull by the horns as they say.

I’m sorry that you’re suffering with this awful condition. Have you considered counselling or CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)? Meditation and visualisation may help. If you need to rest then do it. Be kind to yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

@secc when you suffer from a bout of depression/anxiety you need to take time to look after yourself. You are obviously not feeling very well right now so do return to your GP and enquire about your meds, it could be that your meds are not right for you despite having been changed once already. Also CBT could be one avenue to explore as mentioned by Gillycats.
But please do stop trying to fit in with your DH and family by going out when you don’t enjoy it right now. Explain that you are not well right now and need time to recover.
Have suffered from depression and anxiety on and off for many years so I know how awful it feels. Don’t think you just have to put up with this and try to soldier on, your well-being matters. Make an appointment to see your GP asap and tell him/her exactly how you have been feeling.
All the best 🌺🙏🏾

secc - just dropped by and saw this post. You have got your husband by your side. Hope these clouds float by and you see the sunshine again. Thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon

Once again thank you. I have taken all your advice to heart and am beginning to think about how I can move forwards and enjoy the wonderful life I have. I am blessed in so many ways and need to move through this episode of illness thinking of myself as much as I think of others.
Take care.

Baggs

Sorry you are feeling so sad, secc. I didn't want to just walk on by so here's a question: if you "just want to rest" as you say, why don't you? You don't have to do things just to please others. Might it be worth a try?

I speak as one who rests whenever I need to and am able to.

I utterly agree.

Also, sometimes therapy works really well, it’s worth exploring.

Take care of yourself