Is IVF a Good Option?

I assume the OP has posted here because she thinks we can help. I will say my bit and hope that it does. My DD and her husband are just starting their third attempt at IVF. They have no children, and married late due to both having previous long relationships with partners who did not want children and who were the ones ending the relationship. Both of them imagined they would never find another life partner - but did!

My DD was 39.5 when they realised that it was time to ask for medical intervention, and learnt that the NHS no longer funds it for women over 40. £30k later and they have just commenced their third attempt. As has already been said, it is not an easy option. It involves a lot of drugs (many self-injected), tests and WAITING - all stressful. Despite my DD having 18 apparently "good eggs" harvested and fertilised at the first attempt, a successful implantation and positive pregnancy test following, the 8-week scan showed no baby in the sac. A break of two months followed and the second attempt found that 12 of the fertilised frozen eggs (fetuses) had "died" so they implanted one of the remainder. A further positive pregnancy test but at 6 weeks she lost the "baby". The miscarriage took 5 weeks to clear her womb, and was painful too. The distress to them both was enormous.

They received counselling and decided to try again, this time with fresh eggs/fertilisation to be followed by genetic testing such that only highly-likely fetuses would be used. They are half way through the injection period, with more discomfort. The genetic testing costs £500 per fetus on top of the basic cost. We keep our fingers crossed for them, but she will be 42 this year. The funds for this have come from my SiL's lump sum on retirement from the armed forces, rapidly declining.

My personal advice would be to consider very hard whether you would want to put yourselves through this trauma, and considerable cost, when it might not work, and accept that you already have one lovely child together. Many couples with siblings imagine that life as an only child will be lonely but I speak as one myself (so is my DH) and assure you that it need not be at all.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but as others have said you need to do some reading and discussing before embarking on this path. Good luck.

Skydancer

Shelflife

Not sure about this post........??

Me neither.

Me neither.
Who asks for information on ivf on a site called Gransnet 🤷‍♀️

anyone who can type a question on a forum, is capable of googling the masses of information about IVF online.

Seems an odd post on GN.

Franski this is the OP's choice - presumably based on a "whole range of factors".

Personally I don't think its a right to have a baby. There has to ne a sense of what does the baby have a need for and is your choice based on a whole range of factors that are bigger than just personal choice.

At 42 the odds of conceiving via IVF are minimal.

I’ve not had IVF but I had my third and fourth children (natural conception:natural birth) at 42 and 44.

Try the old fashioned way first, if that doesn’t work see GP

Please be careful ladies!

… I’m granny to a child who is the happy result of IVF, after five failed attempts and an absolute fortune spent. They’d love another but will not risk the heartbreak and strain of failure again.

Seriously, if you’ve “heard about IVF” you’ve an awful lot of research ahead of you, and nobody on gransnet nor any other internet forum can say whether it’s 1) even an option for you, 2) the right option for you.

You’re unlikely to have it offered as a free service anywhere.

Gransnet is an odd platform to ask about IVF!

I am a bit concerned about whether I can get pregnant at this age

You won't know until you try. As you've already had one child you know the recipe.

A good option for the world, the country or the individual?

Shelflife

Not sure about this post........??

Me neither.

Not sure about this post........??

It sounds like you have lots of reading up to do on IVF if you don’t understand how it works. If you decide it’s for you there is likely to be a considerable waiting time.

Your GP will guide you with regard to private clinics. If you are eligible on the NHS there is likely to be a very lengthy waiting list. While you’re waiting continue to try to conceive naturally and if you are still ovulating you might be lucky.

My son and Dil had their first baby via IVF after 4 years of inability to conceive. It was a long and arduous process to finally give birth to my beautiful granddaughter.

There were daily injections and weekly scans for many months before they reached the fertilisation stage. It was very tough on them both, especially my lovely daughter in law who had to endure the side effects of the fertility drugs.

They were fortunate to receive it on the NHS as it was their first baby. I think the criteria varies around the UK. You might find you’re not eligible on the NHS as you already have a child. So you may have to go down the private route.

Wishing you all the best.

I think you won't be offered this via the NHS if you already have a child but if you see your GP and say you want to conceive I expect they will help - even if only with pointers and help looking for ovulation.

You say
I am a bit concerned about whether I can get pregnant at this age

Well yes you can if you (and the prospective father) are fertile. More babies are born to the over 40s than under 20s these days.

I'd start now monitoring my body to have (unprotected) sex at the most likely time - and if you want to know about fertility maybe see a private specialist in parallel.

Eat well, exercise, cut out things such az alcohol and smoking. If over/underweight you should address that too.

Good luck!

So do I Grandmabatty.

I am suspicious of a poster posting such a topic on a forum for primarily older people. You can easily Google ivf and find out statistics etc from particular clinics. You don't say which country you live in because that might have an impact.
I think there's something else going on here

Natural conception is much better for all concerned, and there may be other options than IVF. Maybe talk it over at a well woman clinic or with your doctor.

My mum had her last child when she was 45- if you are not menopausal you may be pleasantly surprised.

IVF is expensive and can be distressing for some. I would go done the natural route if I were you.

I really don' t think that GN is the place to get unbiased and accurate information about IVF, you really should be consulting your doctor. It is not something you 'try' like having a face lift, it is a serious step to take.

Have you tried to conceive naturally?