Gallbladadder op abandoned- really scared

Sorry to keep posting. Bit of an update. I found out that the surgeon found my gallbladder was really stuck and was quite firm to touch, as was my liver.

He was concerned as he said this could be caused by infection or inflammation but as I hadn’t advised him of any infection-like symptoms, he had to consider the possibility of cancer, which doesn’t cause infection-like symptoms. Also the surgery is more likely to be problematic so hence the MRI , and also a CT scan apparently.

But I did have quite a nasty gallbladder related infection late last year, when I was ill for nearly three weeks. I don’t think he asked me about this during consultation so I didn’t mention it. I’ve also had minor trouble since then.

I suppose this is better news at least. But I don’t fancy the three week wait for scans and I don’t know how I’ll get through this period.

I know everyone has a different experience, but I’d love to hear from anyone who can relate to this.

Sillyoldbird

Keepingquiet sorry to hear all about your cancer diagnosies. I hope everything is going well for you now?

12 years ago. Grateful to the NHS every day. Living my life now, fit and well.

Glad your problem is getting sorted.

I’m a complete wreck waiting for any test results so all I can say is I understand how you feel x

That’s great to know keepingquiet. Very positive outcome.

We all get white coat syndrome and forget things.
Keeping fingers crossed for you and everyone having tests for one thing or another. I’ve just sent my ‘stool’ away and waiting for results. 😫

Sillyoldbird, hope you are feeling a bit easier now after speaking to your daughter. These waits do get to us all I think. Sending you very best wishes for the very best outcome.

This is such a lovely forum. Thanks you so much to everyone who has taken the trouble to comment and offer advice.

Sillyoldbird

Thank you everybody. I can cope with the prospect of mores serious surgery (just about). It’s the fear of it being cancer which terrifies me. There was just something about the way the way they were talking to me that suggested they were worried about it.
I had to have a colonoscopy this time last year due to a positive bowel screening test. It turned out ok but I just feel a bit punch drunk with it all, Ive had a phobia of cancer most of my life.

Like you, my fear was cancer. I just knew that if I got it, that would be the end. Well, I HAVE got it, but it isn’t the end. My particular type of cancer (a Neuroendocrine tumour in various places all over my body) is being held in control by monthly hormone injections. Obviously, this won’t work for ever but at nearly 80, I think I’m very lucky that it can be treated to an extent, even if it can’t be cured. It could be so much worse.
I did feel cross with myself for worrying all those years. Maybe that even helped it to grow, who knows? But all the worrying in the world didn’t stop me getting it, so fretting was a total waste of time!
I have the injections done 4-weekly at my home and a very nice nurse comes and does them for me. The trouble is, at my age, I found it quite embarrassing at first to be baring my bottom to a 33 year-old nurse who is definitely male and rather fit! Oh well, if it’s keeping me alive, I’ll just have to put up with it! Luckily, he is lovely and immediately put me at ease. I don’t think twice about it now.

Crossstitchfan

Sillyoldbird

Thank you everybody. I can cope with the prospect of mores serious surgery (just about). It’s the fear of it being cancer which terrifies me. There was just something about the way the way they were talking to me that suggested they were worried about it.
I had to have a colonoscopy this time last year due to a positive bowel screening test. It turned out ok but I just feel a bit punch drunk with it all, Ive had a phobia of cancer most of my life.

Like you, my fear was cancer. I just knew that if I got it, that would be the end. Well, I HAVE got it, but it isn’t the end. My particular type of cancer (a Neuroendocrine tumour in various places all over my body) is being held in control by monthly hormone injections. Obviously, this won’t work for ever but at nearly 80, I think I’m very lucky that it can be treated to an extent, even if it can’t be cured. It could be so much worse.
I did feel cross with myself for worrying all those years. Maybe that even helped it to grow, who knows? But all the worrying in the world didn’t stop me getting it, so fretting was a total waste of time!
I have the injections done 4-weekly at my home and a very nice nurse comes and does them for me. The trouble is, at my age, I found it quite embarrassing at first to be baring my bottom to a 33 year-old nurse who is definitely male and rather fit! Oh well, if it’s keeping me alive, I’ll just have to put up with it! Luckily, he is lovely and immediately put me at ease. I don’t think twice about it now.

Crossstitch fan its great to hear you’re living well with cancer and lucky you with the fit nurse!

Thank you, Sillyoldbird. X

Really struggling today. I was awake at 3.30 trying to rationalise everything, ie gallbladder cancer is very rare, damage from infections is very common.

But then my mind keeps going over all the things that the surgeon said and dissecting them, also questioning why I need two types of scan.

I’m so angry at myself for not being able to cope better. I’ve tried relaxation techniques and distraction, but it’s not working.
I’m driving myself mad

Please do not be angry with yourself .... you have so much to cope with just now. Are there people around you who could distract you from these circular thoughts?

Yes there are but it’s as if I just can’t drag myself away from it.

I know what I’m doing is harmful, but I don’t seem to be able to stop.

What you are experiencing is what people with obsessive-compulsive disorder get - although theirs is a constant irrational problem, rather than an understandable response to a one-off stressful situation. However, some of the strategies that they are advised to try still apply. Try these:

Strategies for stopping obsessive thoughts include mindfulness, distraction, and challenging your thoughts.
Mindfulness
Meditation: Focus on your breathing or sensations to help you be present and reduce anxiety
Acceptance mindfulness: Notice your thoughts and emotions without judgment
Distraction
Change your environment
Try a new activity, like reading, listening to music, or going for a walk
Avoid activities that trigger your obsessive thoughts
Challenge your thoughts
Question your thoughts,
Consider if your thoughts are accurate,
Put your thoughts into perspective
Accept that you can't be certain about everything.
Other strategies
Allow time for worrying each day
Exercise regularly
De-stress before bed
Keep a gratitude journal
Seek support from friends and family
Consider talking to a professional
Try progressive muscle relaxation

Luckygirl3

What you are experiencing is what people with obsessive-compulsive disorder get - although theirs is a constant irrational problem, rather than an understandable response to a one-off stressful situation. However, some of the strategies that they are advised to try still apply. Try these:

Strategies for stopping obsessive thoughts include mindfulness, distraction, and challenging your thoughts.
Mindfulness
Meditation: Focus on your breathing or sensations to help you be present and reduce anxiety
Acceptance mindfulness: Notice your thoughts and emotions without judgment
Distraction
Change your environment
Try a new activity, like reading, listening to music, or going for a walk
Avoid activities that trigger your obsessive thoughts
Challenge your thoughts
Question your thoughts,
Consider if your thoughts are accurate,
Put your thoughts into perspective
Accept that you can't be certain about everything.
Other strategies
Allow time for worrying each day
Exercise regularly
De-stress before bed
Keep a gratitude journal
Seek support from friends and family
Consider talking to a professional
Try progressive muscle relaxation

Thank you Luckygirl. I agree this is like OCD. I can get quite obsessive when I’m anxious about other things too.

It’s a lovely day today so I’m going to ask my husband to take us for a run out in the car later I can’t do too much physically yet because of recovering from the op.

Great idea - enjoy the sunshine!

Oh I do understand Sillyoldbird.
I do the same. My daughter is undergoing tests at the moment and my husband recently. I’ve taken all the advice and bought all the self help books but it seems to make no difference. 3.00 in the morning is a bad time isn’t it? I obsess about every word spoken and go over everything from my google searches (I try not to) down to the tone of voice. Apart from some small symptoms my daughter is well, and the docs are pretty sure they know what it is but just want to eliminate anything more serious. No matter how much I try to rationalise it doesn’t really help.
This is just an example, as in life things do happen all the time don’t they, and I think I have just got to accept that this is how I am and maybe embrace it.
I do agree that distraction helps, and I hope you enjoy your run out in the sunshine.
It’s exhausting though isn’t it, and although I do talk about it to my husband at times, I tend to keep things to myself. I do think it helps to share in here too!

LadyGaGa

Oh I do understand Sillyoldbird.
I do the same. My daughter is undergoing tests at the moment and my husband recently. I’ve taken all the advice and bought all the self help books but it seems to make no difference. 3.00 in the morning is a bad time isn’t it? I obsess about every word spoken and go over everything from my google searches (I try not to) down to the tone of voice. Apart from some small symptoms my daughter is well, and the docs are pretty sure they know what it is but just want to eliminate anything more serious. No matter how much I try to rationalise it doesn’t really help.
This is just an example, as in life things do happen all the time don’t they, and I think I have just got to accept that this is how I am and maybe embrace it.
I do agree that distraction helps, and I hope you enjoy your run out in the sunshine.
It’s exhausting though isn’t it, and although I do talk about it to my husband at times, I tend to keep things to myself. I do think it helps to share in here too!

LadyGaGa I think we must be made from the same cloth - at least as far as this is concerned. I’ve done everything you’ve mentioned and more. My friends and family must be absolutely sick of hearing me going on and on about things in a vain attempt to get some comfort.
I’ve stopped googling though at least and have taken to ChatGPT. I know there are many that don’t trust AI but I’ve found it invaluable. It’s actually helped me to rationalise a bit better and got me through this morning at least.
Thanks for making me feel less like a freak

My mind races when I’m trying to get to sleep. It began at the start of the pandemic and I started having the radio on all night. I now either listen to Jason Stephensons Get Back to Sleep Fast on utube ( this also includes breathing exercises) or Bob Ross black ( just the sound, no pictures) on utube which is the whole of one series. When BBC, as a stroke of genius, started showing Bobs tv series at the start of the pandemic, I found that I could never get to the end of each half hour programme as I’d fall asleep. I like to think that they soothe my mind while I’m asleep, too. I think I must be a bit ocd’ish so I try to manage it as best I can.

You’re welcome Sillyoldbird 🤣 I wish I was more like my sister in law. Her mantra is ‘only worry when you’ve got something definite to worry about’ She never seems to stress. But hey ho, it’s just how we are made. ChatGPT? That’s sounds interesting.

LadyGaGa

You’re welcome Sillyoldbird 🤣 I wish I was more like my sister in law. Her mantra is ‘only worry when you’ve got something definite to worry about’ She never seems to stress. But hey ho, it’s just how we are made. ChatGPT? That’s sounds interesting.

My daughter is like that too. How do they do it?!

ChatGPT - I’m new to the party with that one. It’s been around since about 2015 I think. People are suspicious about it because they think AI will end humanity- a cheerful thought eh?

But I find it great for things like this. I like the way it sifts out a precise, specific response to your questions. And sets them out in an easy to read format. It’s also very conversational so you don’t actually feel you’re talking to a robot.

A fear of cancer is known as carcinophobia which is quite a common phobia Sillyoldbird.
I can remember when people called it The Big C as they were fearful of using the word cancer.
I had breast cancer in 2010, then uterine cancer diagnosed in 2021 and I’m still here!

Mouseybrown60

A fear of cancer is known as carcinophobia which is quite a common phobia Sillyoldbird.
I can remember when people called it The Big C as they were fearful of using the word cancer.
I had breast cancer in 2010, then uterine cancer diagnosed in 2021 and I’m still here!

It’s very good to hear that you’ve overcome your cancer diagnosis . Wishing you good health going forward x

Sillyoldbird - been thinking of you. How are you feeling this morning? A bit better I hope. Some nice encouraging stories here. Keep posting whenever you feel like it.

CrazyH I’m feeling much better. I’ve done a bit of research and had a good think and im feeling more positive now.

Thanks for asking - really appreciate it x