I really sympathise, Bea. I don't think anything really prepares you for the experience of coming round from the op with a leg which feels like a useless lump of flesh, when before the op it did at least function, even if painfully and not very well.
But, of course it gets better as you learn to cope with it and the muscles which have been disturbed, and possibly slightly damaged, during the op regain their strength. Knowing it will get better is a great motivator through those first few days and weeks when you think about its pre op state, which was only ever going to get worse and worse.
With regard to hoisting your leg onto the bed, if you don't have a handy dressing gown cord the crook of a walking stick is an alternative aid. Or a strong scarf if you have neither cord nor sticks...
I'm sure that you've found that when you mention 'hip replacement' in a group of 'elderly people a good many of them have various replacement hips and knees
They're all hopping around like youngsters on them. Pretty soon you will be, too.