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Forgetting to eat

(47 Posts)
Primrose53 Wed 09-Apr-25 22:15:28

I forgot to eat many times while my husband was very ill after his major stroke. Other times I just couldn’t face food. I am eating pretty normally now he is home.

Norah Wed 09-Apr-25 17:07:30

Redblueandgreen

Thank you to those who’ve replied so far - and for normalising it. Yes, a shitty time that most folks go though at some point and they ride through and come through it.

I hope you become happy and healthy.

I eat to live - eating only as absolutely necessary. However I do keep count to my calories, vitamins, protein. Perhaps attempt 1200 calories a day including vitamin/mineral/protein support recommended?

Allira Wed 09-Apr-25 14:23:47

Middle age is generally considered to be 40 - 60

What are you when you're 91?
On borrowed time perhaps.

M0nica Wed 09-Apr-25 14:18:49

0-29 youth, 30-59 middle age, 60 plus old age.

Too many people are wrapping values around the basic facts of a lifespan, rapidly heading for 90.

There is nothing inherently wrong, embarrassing, or demeaning about being in the last third of your life. After 60 you are in the last and old third of your life.

farmgran Wed 09-Apr-25 13:07:47

Have a bag of cashews, Brazil nuts, almonds and dried fruit like apricots n dates to nibble on. And mandarines are easy to peel.

RosieandherMaw Wed 09-Apr-25 12:30:54

No M0nica, still working, active in her 60’s and well below pension age is NOT “elderly” with all its connotations.
Some people like my late Dad only ever ate to live ie when hungry and could happily skip meals if he was busy or his mind elsewhere.
However OP should make space in her life for nutritious meals at regular intervals. It can become a habit especially if you stop “feeling” hungry.. That may take a little planning , but “heathy eating” is not just about losing weight but maintaining a healthy weight too.

Allira Wed 09-Apr-25 12:20:51

Do you work from home? If so, it might be more difficult to have structure in your day eg a set lunch-time.

After breakfast could you chop up some healthy bits with protein, salad perhaps etc and put them in plastic box in the fridge labelled Lunch, together with a yogurt if you like that. You could set yourself an alarm for, say, 12.30 to remind you. Then you wouldn't have to start thinking about what to have.

Some ready meals can be good if you make sure to add some very easy vegetables.

Some people plan their meals for the week, that might suit some but I never know what I want each day. But thinking ahead for the day could help, I hope.

Stress can have odd physical effects on the body.

My problem was always the opposite, anxiety eating which I have had to overcome

M0nica Wed 09-Apr-25 11:56:09

argymargy

She's not elderly - she's in her 60s, fit and healthy and in a busy job. She's having some tough times and sometimes forgets to eat. No biggie.

60s is elderly, however much the Peter Pans among us like to pretend it isn't. Beng elderly does not imply any loss of faculties, illness, or frailty of any sort. But it is an age where we begin to be more easily knocked sideways by adversity, especially health adversity, and take longer to recover.

A long healthy old age is aided immeasurably by ensuring that we eat a sufficient quantity of a well balanced diet and try to get outside for some exercise and keep an active social life. Even if it is just walking down to a corner shop to buy the papers and exchange the time of day with the owner.

As I said above. 65% of elderly people admitted to hospital are malnourished. It is all too easy to start down the slippery slope to the point where you are too malnourished to care. I have seen this happen in my own family. Any tendency to forget to eat needs to be picked up while the person concerned is well enough, mentally and physically to do so.

Redblueandgreen has been wise enough to recognise the problem early and look for ideas how to reverse it.

Redblueandgreen Wed 09-Apr-25 08:47:48

M0nica, thank you. Have just looked at Malnutrition website, it’s very helpful and I’ll also look at British geriatric society because I think there’ll be some other research mentioned round getting older that could be of value too.
Argymargy thank you too, I am just in my acceptable bmi range but almost tipping in to underweight.

argymargy Wed 09-Apr-25 08:41:52

She's not elderly - she's in her 60s, fit and healthy and in a busy job. She's having some tough times and sometimes forgets to eat. No biggie.

M0nica Wed 09-Apr-25 08:12:08

argymargy

If you're not hungry, there may be no need to eat, unless you're losing more weight than is healthy. I completely disagree that you should force yourself to eat - two-thirds of UK adults are overweight or obese and we've only got to that state by eating too much! Eat when you do feel like eating, and ensure it's good, fresh, healthy food that will help you recover.

Eating when you lose your appetite and overeating are two entirely different things.

When someone loses their appetite, even if they do not initially lose weight they will not be eating a well-balanced diet containing all the vitamins and minerals we need to stay healthy. This will make them vulnerable to all kinds of poor health outcomes. In some cases not eating is itself a symptom of ill health.

65% of older people admitted to hospital are malnourished and malnourishment is considered a significant threat to the health of older people.

The British Geriatrics Society has done much research into the problems of malnutrition in old age and is so concerned about the problem that it has launched a Malnutrition Taskforce.

There is one page on the BGS Malnutrition Taskforce site that is written for people in redblueandgreens circumstances. It is headed What can help - for days when we can't be bothered www.malnutritiontaskforce.org.uk/eating-well/what-can-we-do/what-can-help-days-when-we-cant-be-bothered .

It is full of helpful advice that runs completely counter to what you say argy-bargy

argymargy Tue 08-Apr-25 08:52:15

If you're not hungry, there may be no need to eat, unless you're losing more weight than is healthy. I completely disagree that you should force yourself to eat - two-thirds of UK adults are overweight or obese and we've only got to that state by eating too much! Eat when you do feel like eating, and ensure it's good, fresh, healthy food that will help you recover.

Redblueandgreen Tue 08-Apr-25 08:41:07

Should have said, thank you to the above for taking the time to reply.

Redblueandgreen Tue 08-Apr-25 08:40:18

M0nica, I’m going to try a walk every morning and madeleine45 I’m like you and don’t do takeaways but I get a lot of fliers through the door from takeaways and may treat myself.

madeleine45 Tue 08-Apr-25 08:33:23

A couple of things that might be a help. When I was having chemo the smell of food put me off, but I got some weetabix, which I still have now. It has no smell to me, and I put a little canderel on it and some milk. It can be eaten any time I think and so if you suddenly realize you have had very little to eat, it gives you something and the milk is good for bones etc. Also if you have to take any tablets that need you to eat food first, again it is an easy go to food, so a useful back up to keep in the cupboard.

Then is there any particular fruit or food that you enjoy or see as a treat normally? I would suggest that you choose some comfort food and have that available to tempt you. sometimes old favourites can be cheering, so perhaps a lovely old bread and butter pudding, or perhaps make up a stew or some mince or curry and then put into small portions and freeze them separately. That way you are not forcing yourself to eat them on the day you make them - although hopefully they might tempt you to enjoy them - but you will have something in and quickly available at any time.

Again I rarely buy takeaway things but it is worth having say the local chinese or pizza menus so that you could occasionally have something brought to you when you feel like it. If you can see this as just a temporary problem and not something to worry about too much , I think as hopefully your problems and worries lessen you will get back to your old ways. Could you also possibly meet with a friend either for a lunch at a cafe or perhaps a church meeting lunch. Wishing you all the best

M0nica Tue 08-Apr-25 08:09:18

During, your sh*tty time. One of the best supports for getting through it is to concentrate on your physical welfare. Bad times are made worse if you neglect your health.

I suggest you set yourselves three times a day when you will eat, and discipline yourself to eat something then whether you feel hungry or not. It doesn't have to be a big meal. Something ready prepared from the supermarket. Equally try to make yourself go out for a walk each day. Not far but just get out into the fresh air. teh weather is lovely at the moment.

It is so tempting and easy to neglect yourself when times are difficult, but equally there is nothing to be gained by making a bad situation worse by self neglect.

Redblueandgreen Mon 07-Apr-25 23:06:23

Oops. Sh***y.

Redblueandgreen Mon 07-Apr-25 23:02:46

Thank you to those who’ve replied so far - and for normalising it. Yes, a shitty time that most folks go though at some point and they ride through and come through it.

crazyH Mon 07-Apr-25 22:56:33

That’s your answer - your ‘sh***y’ time.
When I was going through separation/divorce , I lost a lot of weight . No appetite at al.
25 years later, I just can’t stop eating. Just made myself a nice ham sandwich with my coffee. Never go to bed on a empty stomach - so I tell myself 😂
When things settle, your appetite will return. Don’t worry about it.

Macadia Mon 07-Apr-25 22:56:23

Im sorry youre having a rough time. The only way to the other side it to go through the muck. Take care.

Macadia Mon 07-Apr-25 22:54:38

I forget to eat too. Sometimes have a bowl of hot muesli before bed as my first meal. I just figured it was my age and I dont worry about it as my weight stays the same.

Redblueandgreen Mon 07-Apr-25 22:40:33

Going through a really sh***y time at the moment. Have just realised for the first time in my life I’m forgetting to eat. All my life I’ve loved food but I’m getting to the end of the day and realising I’ve just had my breakfast and nothing else. I’m early 60s, healthy, still working and fit and exercise a lot. Love my busy job and I think I’m good at it but lonely in my personal life although I make the effort to make contact with friends, family and social activities. Have had a lot of stress recently, no bereavement but some significant changes in my life. No history of dementia in the family - I don’t think it’s that. . Any thoughts from anyone? (Really appreciating the distractions and grounding that GN offers.).