Can't seem to cope with much stress anymore - is this ageing?

You are not a wuss. You are just someone who has reached a high stress level and this time feels overwhelmed.

How we all deal with stress varies from person to person and from time to time. This time it has got to you.

yws, with age, some people's capacity to cope with stress declines, especially in extreme old age (+85) but at just over 60, you should be OK.

Nothing exceptional You are just reacting likely everyone else does.

Thanks Monica. I feel so bad for breaking down in tears at the Revenue lady. When I was on to my accountant yesterday, my voice was cracking - I found the whole process so stressful - it's so long and the paperwork is dense.

Am so sorry you had to go through this, is a lot of stress and I totally get why you burst into tears. Don’t beat yourself up over it, be kind to yourself, imagine how you would sympathise with a friend or relative going through this and offer the same sympathy to your own self.
You have a pretty stressful life already so this was the last straw. I can remember recently when visiting my DH who was seriously ill in hospital I got back to a hotel near the hospital he was staying in and realised I had left my phone charger plugged in near his bed and I burst into tears. It was the last straw. And tbh all the hoohah with the inland revenue would cause anyone to go into meltdown.
Hoping your foot soon recovers and that you catch a break.
🌹🙏🏾

I’m glad it has ended well for you. I hope you fully recover soon, my best friend has had a similar operation due to severe arthritis in her ankle. Very painful at the time, but made a good recovery.
Official paperwork seems to be more stressful these days. I’m currently involved with a financial situation that involves providing proof of who I am to several organisations, complying with the money laundering rules. Not one piece of evidence be it passport, driving licence or birth certificate seems to be enough.

Thanks Babs03 and J52. It's good to hear that others have had a meltdown reaction at times. I just wanted to recover in peace and the day after the operation and for the following two days, in pain and tired from the operation and anaesthetic I had to deal with this, along with having my car back being quite an urgent need. It didn't help also that when I rang my partner and I was in tears, we spoke for about two minutes, and the line got disconnected and he never rang me back or texted me for support. I was disrupting his TV routine from 6 to 9 p.m. I try not to have that kind of tearful reaction with him as he doesn't manage this well, and is not good at this kind of support so this was a mistake on my part to reach out to him and it added to my meltdown.

Recovering from an operation, moving countries at a time of life when you should be relaxing into retirement. No wonder you felt too stressed to cope. As for crying, at least you were finally listened to, I can't help but thinking thank goodness it was a woman on the other end of the phone.

Yes, missdeke, it was, and she was a really nice empathetic lady, and I really appreciated that.

missdeke

Recovering from an operation, moving countries at a time of life when you should be relaxing into retirement. No wonder you felt too stressed to cope. As for crying, at least you were finally listened to, I can't help but thinking thank goodness it was a woman on the other end of the phone.

Exactly this. You have been strong enough to get through such a lot. Crying is not weakness or wuss .. it's just another way of coping sometimes 💐

I swear if more people cried, we would have less ill health. It’s a good way of releasing stress and the accompanying hormones from the body. It’s just not that socially acceptable unfortunately. It sounds like you’ve been under stress and couldn’t contain it. Nothing wrong…and nothing to do with age. You need to look after yourself now.

I just don't want to deal with stress any more now, I don't want to be awake in the early hours worrying about things that wouldn't have bothered me at all when I was younger.
So we've tried to make our life simpler, downsized, arranged direct debit payment schemes for such bills as we can, including household bills, car servicing, MOT, Road Tax etc. and this all makes it much harder to forget to get things done.
We have an accountant to do our tax returns and a financial advisor to keep an eye on our investments.
I used to pay bills as they came in, do our financial management etc. but now think that I've earned respite from worries and really don't mind paying people to do things or settling bills in advance.

My goodness, ElaineMcG47, with all that you’ve been going through lately, including surgery and moving, it’s little wonder you feel so stressed, and the jobsworth you encountered was the final straw for you.
No, I don’t think it’s a case of you not coping at all. You’ve done really well and coped with so much.
I’m glad the situation regarding your car seems to be resolved, and I hope you can now rest and recuperate a little from all that you have gone through. 💐

I often think that our stress level is a bit like a glass of water. Sometimes the glass has really become full up, and it only takes a small thing for it to spill over - either in tears or in anger. I’m sure the lady on the phone will have had times like that to and I’m so pleased she sorted it out for you.

(I’m sorry to hear about the lack of support from your partner too - I have a similar issue, but fortunately have two DDs who are always sympathetic and helpful.)

ElaineMcG47 life is stressful especially trying to sort out all this red tape , it's overwhelming. I've recently had a crying session over the phone to HMRC , felt like I was banging my head on a brick wall . It's overwhelming at the best of times not least when you're recovering from surgery and feeling fragile . Chin up , hope you're feeling better and less stressed soon . Large glass of something later and here's a big hug

I can well recognise your reaction to the situation. I'm 73 so a tad older than you but for the last few years I have found it hard to respond to seemingly little problems as I used to, and the tears come rather more often than I'd like. I too had a resposible and time-consuming career (which I loved) and coped admirably but all this red tape stuff - not to mention the rapid changes in technology - wear me down. A sympathetic ear makes such a difference, doesn't it?

As others have said, you are not being a wuss - and I bet you are a pretty strong lady when facing most things - but simply reacting to unecessary red tape and misinformation that takes up your time, especially when you are in the middle of medical treatment too.

My DH is also not a lot of use at times like this, as nothing worries him, but then he does leave 95% of such problems to me!

I hope you feel better soon.

Oh that is terrible the way you have been treated. Two ways to sort this, you make a complaint copying in everyone that is the 'company' even your MP? You would be justified.
The other way is to to just say 'done now' and relax. But I feel you would still be upset as to the way you have been treated. Write one letter, then another next day making sure you are being factual.
At present I am coping with digital something or other, Lasting Power of Attorney and family issues. Sometimes I make headway other days I don't understand what I am supposed to do. Am sure it was not so difficult in my parents day!
Deep breaths, have a cuppa watch a tv prog you like then tackle it the next day. Best wishes Sue

Thanks to all of you for all the helpful replies. I am glad to hear other people would find dealing with bureaucracy stressful - there seems to be so much more around today. I am glad it's not my age, but I do feel like cc that I don't want to deal with stressful stuff if I don't have to anymore, i.e. I don't want to put myself through situations if I don't need to, so kind of looking at stresses in my life that I may be can control a little. Unfortunately, in this case, dealing with the Revenue, I couldn't avoid, but I am going to have a think about what stressors it is possible to reduce in my life.

Stillness

I swear if more people cried, we would have less ill health. It’s a good way of releasing stress and the accompanying hormones from the body. It’s just not that socially acceptable unfortunately. It sounds like you’ve been under stress and couldn’t contain it. Nothing wrong…and nothing to do with age. You need to look after yourself now.

This above ! As a therapist I wish more people would cry when they need to. The Body Keeps The Score is a great book about this. Sending virtual hugs. xx

I sympathise Elaine McG47 I'm finding admin etc and even life in general more stressful now as I approach 80. Even complaining about bad service makes things more stressful doesn't it.
Bureaucracy in France is a major part of life and I do find it tiring & stressful.