Autism/ADHD

Should have said I think its lammed not lammied I was copying the posters words

Extoile lammied means hit /smacked/ belted

Flippin2

Sarnia
Thank you,my 5 yrs old grandson is autistic,never happier than when he's on his spinning chair or out in the wind and the rain all sensory. However he doesn't sleep well, can be up from 1.30 in the morning and keeps on going which means mum or dad has to be up too and still have work to go to.He's as bright as a button,can read, knows his alphabet,loves to count but doesn't like interacting with lots of people,lots of noise etc. He will come to you on his terms and the most wonderful thing is if he chooses to sit on your knee and play..we all wish he wasn't autistic but he is and will always be so,the ignorance and some comments are painful.
I would suggest if you ever get the chance to go on the autism bus ,you take it,and experience a small amount of how an autistic child's life is,we did it and both of us cried

Flippin2 I have 2 autistic GC so know only too well how much joy these quirky little people can bring but also how challenging every day is for parents and the wider family. I get so incensed with these hurtful statements blaming bad parenting, computer games, diet and vaccinations. Their brains are wired differently and are autistic from birth although signs do not appear until 12-14 months. Autistics have little or no melatonin, the sleep hormone. My GS was a shocking sleeper. He had liquid melatonin every evening and it was a game changer. Worth a try and I wish you all the very best with your dear GS.

This article is fascinating on Autism and natural selection.
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10480880/

This is the first paragraph.

"This article reviews etiological and comparative evidence supporting the hypothesis that some genes associated with the autism spectrum were naturally selected and represent the adaptive benefits of being cognitively suited for solitary foraging. People on the autism spectrum are conceptualized here as ecologically competent individuals that could have been adept at learning and implementing hunting and gathering skills in the ancestral environment. Upon independence from their mothers, individuals on the autism spectrum may have been psychologically predisposed toward a different life-history strategy, common among mammals and even some primates, to hunt and gather primarily on their own. Many of the behavioral and cognitive tendencies that autistic individuals exhibit are viewed here as adaptations that would have complemented a solitary lifestyle. For example, the obsessive, repetitive and systemizing tendencies in autism, which can be mistakenly applied toward activities such as block stacking today, may have been focused by hunger and thirst toward successful food procurement in the ancestral past."

My youngest son struggled at school and always had very fixed ideas. When he was 15 a school mentor suggested he may have ADHD . Due to Covid he wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD and traits of autism for 5 years . In that time he had 6 attempts to pass GCSE maths. He has an apprenticeship and is doing well but there are times he can still be difficult to deal with. He tried medication but this caused him to have seizures. I can now recognise potential “triggers” but I feel terribly guilty we didn’t know when he was growing up. We just thought he was naughty. 🙁

Sarnia

TheHappyGardener

Crasymum1561

Someone once explained to me me that ADHD. Stood for Absence of Dad's Hand on Derriere (?)

I also do think soft parenting (or lazy parenting!) has played a part.

Autism is a result of the brain being wired differently during development in the womb therefore that brain works differently. Absolutely rubbish to blame soft parenting. Read some research!

Well said Sarnia, totally agree!

My grandson has autism, diagnosed at primary school.He was non verbal but understood everything he heard. He was at the school nursery class and his teacher was concerned as he never spoke one word all the time he was there.He was assessed and diagnosed as being on the spectrum.Aftr being transferred a mainstream school which had an ESN class he began to make words but had difficulty putting them together.He is now in his early twenties and has a full time job in the catering industry which he enjoys.
My DS1 is I suspect has autism but as he is now in his 50s never diagnosed.He works full time as a cleaner and has never been unemployed or claimed benefits.He is not my grandson's father.
I suspect my now late husband had autism as well.
I do know of people with spoilt and very badly behaved children but it is due to the parenting they have received.I know of one family where their now grown up chid has always ruled the house.The excuse is that they are ''ill''.
One of my neighbours has a daughter with ''anxiety'' this girl is approaching her early 20s and has never looked for work.
If no benefits were available they would certainly have to get work.
I do know that some terrible terms were used in the past.When I was researching my family history I found a relative was listed on a census form as an ''imbecile''This was the 1920s .The father of this family was recorded as being ''a permanent invalid, unable to work''. The oldest daughter it seemed was the only breadwinner, she was just 17 years old and worked as book keeper It made you wonder how people survived in those times without all the benefits today.I can remember this lady from my childhood She had never married as she was the one the whole family had relied on until they were all grown up.By then she had risen to a high position as a company accountant, and had bought her own house where she had lived with her mother and one of her sisters.She never forgot her very humble beginnings.

Nothing to do with poor parenting! It is to do with genetics. My grandaughter is 4...autistic, non verbal and has learning disabilities. I am a retired teacher and I havegot autism qualifications. Better diagnosed now. But also nowadays it's 'fashionable' to have a 'label' ADHD,Autism,dylexia,dyspraxia , anxiety,nervous then you have 'the furries' look it up..If kids do have a genuine disability it is important to get asses professionaly.

Good point Galaxy. It's important to get the diagnosis exactly right. There can be other explanations for the type of behaviour under discussion in this thread. In our service we did sometimes find that people did not have autism. We had to be absolutely sure as people were quite invested in being diagnosed with autism.

GrannyGravy13

icanhandthemback 👏 👏👏👏

In total support 👏👏👏

This is not on my part a reflection on the children of anyone here, it is a discussion on an issue that is beginning to present as a possible concern. I am as you can see being hyper cautious because it is a very complex, nuanced issue and can cause people considerable distress when discussed.

You ask ChatGPT and it would give you a comprehensive, possibly more objective response. My brother was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. Outbursts for reasons only he knew of, strange behaviours around food when my other siblings would eat whatever mum made. Wary of anyone new, a problems playing with his peers, very fixated on things and asking lots of questions about subjects kids aren't normally interested in, very musically gifted. I was actually quite jealous that he got so much attention because of this, but as we grew, it became clear he was on the spectrum and I protected him as much as I could. Now neurodiversity is the buzz word of our time, some people seek a diagnosis of their own behaviour and that of their children. I see this as helpful in the main but it has gone too far in terms of all the additional costs involved, which we are all paying for through our taxes.

I am not sure this dividing into two camps helps, to be honest.
I have 30 years experience in this area, we are absolutely seeing more children with autism ( adhd isn't really in my remit unless the child has other
issues), most professionals I know are
talking about that.
Children with autism are obviously not naughty or the result of bad
parenting, but we are more and more talking about the fact that the
presentation of children with autism
and the presentation of children who
have experienced trauma ( domestic
violence, and all the other awfulness
that children can experience) is often
similar. From a personal viewpoint, I
am concerned that some of those
children may receive a diagnosis, and
that might not be what is happening.

Grannynannywanny

It certainly is theworriedwell. I think I’ll have to hide the thread before I’m tempted to say what I really feel 😡

That is probably good advice.

thinking of thinking of

It certainly is theworriedwell. I think I’ll have to hide the thread before I’m tempted to say what I really feel 😡

Grannynannywanny

WithNobsOnIt

Mild autism also known as "Naughty Child Syndrome

Children of feckless parents who have no interest in them and can't keep the under control.

An offensive and ill informed post from someone who is trying to appear knowledgeable and has failed miserably 🙄

The ignorance on here is staggering isn't it.

Siptree

Having been working in a nursery I see how many parents try to get diagnosis of these conditions. It can excuse bad behaviour/parenting and bring in cash. Often the staff who know the children well don't believe the children are autistic or have ADHD but they still get a diagnosis. Going back to my days at Primary school in the 60s there were only a couple of children who were deemed slow learners and out of a class of 30 at least 8 passed the 11 plus, with no extra help in an inner city deprived area. I think the reasons for the rise in numbers of these conditions is many fold. Poor diet, poor parenting, financial incentive and better recognition of some conditions, even a strange kind of 'fashio'.

I went to an inner city school in the 50s. Class if 48 and 23 of us went to grammar school so 8 doesn't sound great to me

Staff in a nursery or diagnosis by a paediatric psychiatrist or psychologist. Gosh it's hard to work out who to trust isn't it? Actually it isn't.

WithNobsOnIt

Mild autism also known as "Naughty Child Syndrome

Children of feckless parents who have no interest in them and can't keep the under control.

An offensive and ill informed post from someone who is trying to appear knowledgeable and has failed miserably 🙄

Crasymum1561

Someone once explained to me me that ADHD. Stood for Absence of Dad's Hand on Derriere (?)

Did you tell them they were stupid and clearly ignorant with it?

There are many kids with autism and ADHD .
And certainly I know several adults who demonstrate autism ,but have never been diagnosed -
That's it in a nutshell really -
we are more aware of neurodivergence than we were before .

DaisyAnneReturns

GrannyGravy13

Lathyrus3 what on earth makes you think that people are proud of labels that mark them or their children out as different from the crowd

It is emotionally draining for all members of the family with a child or adult with neurodiversity.

Have you had to suffer the glares from fellow diners when you have a young child sitting under the table with noise cancelling headphones on, or with an iPad in front of them throughout the meal. Both these examples are coping mechanisms y the way, not just lazy parenting.

It's the Dunning-Kruger effect GrannyGravy13

The Dunning-Kruger Effect is a cognitive bias in which people wrongly overestimate their knowledge or ability in a specific area. This tends to occur because a lack of self-awareness prevents them from accurately assessing their own skills.

Here it is in plain view.

DaisyAnneReturns

I didn't say it was about you specifically Lathyrus3. I doubt that either psychologist was thinking of personally when they coined this. It applies to everyone to one degree or another but it's probably the depth to which it does apply to the individual or group that matters.

Seriously? Read my post that you quoted and your riposte and tell me it wasn’t directed at me.

I didn't say it was about you specifically Lathyrus3. I doubt that either psychologist was thinking of personally when they coined this. It applies to everyone to one degree or another but it's probably the depth to which it does apply to the individual or group that matters.

My sister’s stepson is autistic. Not high functioning and it would be obvious to anyone that he has problems.
My sister and her husband are wealthy but he benefits financially from the Government.
We asked them why they went down that route. They explained that it means that he is ‘in the system’. He went to a special school, something they had to fight for. This opened the doors to various avenues that would not otherwise have been open to him.
He is now in part time employment and is able to manage his life, not alone but with help.
He is very lucky. In his case he has an extended loving family capable of supporting him but one day he may be on his own and he will need the system to be there.
If they could have had the support without the financial input they would have been happy.