Autism/ADHD

It’s all real

They are diagnosed with these conditions because they have them

It’s a spectrum and has always existed

Neuro diversity often exists within families

For most people it has nothing to do with benefits, it’s about finding and implementing appropriate support

I have two grandsons with Autism and ADHD. Since learning about their problems it has been very clear that this is what my husband's problem was. In fact I frequently said to him "Why do you find normal life so difficult?" Now I know that he really did find it difficult and wasn't just being awkward. His education was a disaster because he was just "The naughty boy who talked too much" and he spent most of his life driving a lorry. It also became clear why his mother was so strange. She always behaved as if she was working from a textbook that explained how humans behave. Born in 1929 she was just called "A bit different" I rather suspect my own father was autistic. Perhaps this was why he always liked my husband. I have to admit that when I heard work colleagues talking about their ADHD children I used to think they were just jumping on a bandwagon. After watching my grandsons growing up I realised that it is very real.

My 16 year old GS has a diagnosis of Autism.
It was obvious from his early years he was different.
He is bright, loving and very kind but drifts along in his own way.
We doubt at the moment that he will be able to work at a normal job, he is so easily distracted and has little sense of time.
We certainly don’t make any of his quirks up.
We just want him to be happy and live as normal a life as he can.
I know so much about him as he and his dad live with me.

Calendargirl

Apologies if my post upset you, GG13 and nanaK.

Not my intention.

Thank you x

Children who would now be recognised as needing assessment for neuro diversity, were often excluded from mainstream schools, or simply dismissed as naughty

I have three grandchildren with neuro diverse diagnosis. It’s distressing to see posters suggesting benefits as the reason their parents sought diagnosis. Not at all, it’s about trying to ensure children are best supported in school and at home. Autism, adhd, dyslexia etc are life long issues.

Calendargirl thank you.

Apologies if my post upset you, GG13 and nanaK.

Not my intention.

keeping quiet. If you had a child in your family with a diagnosis of ADHD I doubt very much you would refer to it as a fashion! Believe you me its not something you would want .

GrannyGravy13

Calendargirl

I think many parents are quick to say their children are autistic, ‘on the spectrum’, have ADHD, not always to try and get the extra income, but simply to excuse challenging behaviours, that a bit of proper discipline would sort.

Too many parents trying to be best mates, instead of parents.

Children need guidance and guidelines.

We have a GC who is neurodiverse and another who is currently being assessed for ADHD.

I find your post rather unhelpful to all families who struggle on a daily basis.

Yep me too
Oh well < sighs deeply and backs away from this thread>

Calendargirl

I think many parents are quick to say their children are autistic, ‘on the spectrum’, have ADHD, not always to try and get the extra income, but simply to excuse challenging behaviours, that a bit of proper discipline would sort.

Too many parents trying to be best mates, instead of parents.

Children need guidance and guidelines.

We have a GC who is neurodiverse and another who is currently being assessed for ADHD.

I find your post rather unhelpful to all families who struggle on a daily basis.

There was a big push in the 80s and 90s to include SEN children in mainstream schools. Governments liked this policy because it's cheaper than special units or special schools. But it doesn't always work; many SEN children struggle, fail academically and sometimes misbehave and disrupt classes out of frustration.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Familiar picture Cold.

My DD is diagnosed with Autism/ADHD over 20 years ago- the diagnosis process took approximately 20 hours with assessments by
- paediatricians
- psychologists
- physiotherapist
- speech and language specialist
- specialist pedagogue
-Occupational therapist
Plus they came out to observe her in school

One thing that needs to be remembered is that high functioning forms of autism and ADHD were not recognised by doctors until the late 80s/early 90s. Certainly I can see that older members of my family almost certainly would be diagnosed these days.

It would have been a huge help to my brother to have had a diagnosis and medication. He thrived at private school but lacked the ability to cope outside and died on the streets as a homeless person - accidently killed by a person who probably thought they were being kind.

DD who was diagnosed is now 30 and works full time as a nurse.

As a retired diagnostician, I can concur that diagnosis of autism is or should be rigorous. ADHD is different and there is medication which can help.
I think there is a rush to categorise people and this is inappropriate. Some children are just victims of poor upbringing and/or poor diet rather than having a particular syndrome. In the relatively recent past there were large institutions for learning disabled people but, more relevant to this thread, there was a whole range of special schools with different remits. The wholesale move to mainstreaming is a disaster. All the children and the poor teachers suffer as they try to fit an education to a very mixed set of pupils.
If the special schools were still in common use education could be tailored to the learning needs of all.

Septimia

I appreciate what you're saying Nandalot and I'm pleased that your DD is getting the help she needs for her son.

However, my DiL is a teacher and feels that some children - including those of friends - are being labelled unnecessarily (because of behaviour that is difficult for other reasons) in the hope that they'll at least get the minimum £29 or so. If this is happening, then it's not fair on those families that genuinely need the help.

My daughter (autistic & ADHD) is a primary school teacher. You are right in so much as a small percentage of parents try to use these labels, more to excuse bad behaviour, which can manifest for a myriad of reasons. More so than the DLA payments.

Septimia

There will be children who genuinely have these problems.

However, some parents are having their children assessed as having autism or ADHD even when the symptoms very mild (or possibly non-existent) because they can claim up to £187-45 in benefits each week.

Being cynical, I think there may be numbers of children who have been labelled with these conditions simply for the money.

My daughter was not diagnosed until she was an adult. She has both and went through two pretty gruelling assessment processes and works full time and claims nothing!

A friend of mine has a 13 year old autistic granddaughter, it’s pretty severe. Her parents have fought long and hard to get her assessed and then went through a gruelling assessed for DLA. Their entire family life is broken due to this girls condition.

There are undoubtedly children with high needs which are recognized today, although they weren't in the past, and these children either struggled through the school system or were sent to special schools.
I do think that some parents give the label adhd as a catch all for lax parenting.

It is an extremely difficult and long process to get a diagnosis of ADHD, ADD or autism.

If you have a family member with one of these conditions you will know how hard it can be for the rest of the family.

You cannot have a child labelled just for the money

Septimia

There will be children who genuinely have these problems.

However, some parents are having their children assessed as having autism or ADHD even when the symptoms very mild (or possibly non-existent) because they can claim up to £187-45 in benefits each week.

Being cynical, I think there may be numbers of children who have been labelled with these conditions simply for the money.

You can’t just diagnose this yourself, or at your GP’’s Septimia,the assessment process is very rigorous, even more so to receive the right support (EHCP/PIP). It can also take a considerable length time when families are have to cope with extremes of behaviour in some instances, with no support.
To answer the OP, children were called backward, mentally ill, imbeciles or worse, many hidden away in asylums.
The parents who sit and watch their obviously ignored and undisciplined children wreaking havoc whilst tapping on their phone, excusing it with ‘x has ADHD’ need their arses kicking.

It used to be a stigma- now it's a fashion.

The number of severely autistic children has remained constant- the ones who need high levels of specialist care are being disregarded in favour of private assessments that show children with moderate autism traits.

I appreciate what you're saying Nandalot and I'm pleased that your DD is getting the help she needs for her son.

However, my DiL is a teacher and feels that some children - including those of friends - are being labelled unnecessarily (because of behaviour that is difficult for other reasons) in the hope that they'll at least get the minimum £29 or so. If this is happening, then it's not fair on those families that genuinely need the help.

Sorry, pressed too soon. It is not enough just to have an assessment of autism or ADHD, you have to show what extra requirements of care are needed for the child above the norm.

Septimia

There will be children who genuinely have these problems.

However, some parents are having their children assessed as having autism or ADHD even when the symptoms very mild (or possibly non-existent) because they can claim up to £187-45 in benefits each week.

Being cynical, I think there may be numbers of children who have been labelled with these conditions simply for the money.

DD receives DLA ( disability living allowance) for her autistic son. I can tell you it is not easy to get this awarded. She had to have mounds of evidence to support her application.

There will be children who genuinely have these problems.

However, some parents are having their children assessed as having autism or ADHD even when the symptoms very mild (or possibly non-existent) because they can claim up to £187-45 in benefits each week.

Being cynical, I think there may be numbers of children who have been labelled with these conditions simply for the money.