Periods

My mother had prepared me ahead of time and showed me the hidden stash of pads and a new elastic sanitary belt with hooks (remember those?). I started at 13, first in my class.

By 14 , I'd seen a discreet and mysterious magazine advert and sent off for the free sample. Two Tampax arrived by post in that useful plastic holder and I was instantly converted.

Mum was less impressed, already I'd ignored her warning "never wash your hair during a period" Now, even worse, Tampax meant I went swimming during periods. Her last ditch argument was that Tampax were unsuitable for girls (virgins). Obviously another myth, Mother; like the hair thing

I remember knowing about periods, but not really what they were. My mum just told me I could now get pregnant, but at 11 I had no idea how and she never told me. No baths either, because the flow might stop and go back into the brain. It was the dreaded Dr Whites and belt. I told a couple of my friends that I could now have a baby. We discussed me having one and the three of us could hide it and bring it up together!

We were given a book from school, Convent Grammar School, but I don’t remember periods in there. It did have prayers to say while you were washing yourself in the bath and told not to look at yourself.

My mum was given a long pad which was fastened to her vest at the front and back with safety pins. She was told, “You’ll be like that until you are 50 and keep away from boys.”

I was a late starter; over 14. I knew all about periods from friends and my mother who spoke constantly about sex and babies. I woke one morning to rusty bits of toilet paper around my bedroom and on my sheets. I knew it had nothing to do with me and asked my mother what it was . She told me that while drunk her and my older sister were trying to frighten me into thinking my periods had started and had rubbed rusty batteries around my room and me.
Why?
When i eventually did start she expected me to use 3 alternating piles of rags as she did. I stole my older sisters products and got a job to buy my own supplies. I had very heavy and frequent bleeds and struggled. She didnt buy me any basic toiletries either.
This has always stayed with me , but sadly wasnt unusual behaviour for her. My fad died when I was 16 and I left home at 17. Necessity was the mother of invention for me.
I had 2 daughters who experienced things as they should have been

My mum told me about it at 11, before I went off to boarding school.
At none of the several schools I attended was it ever mentioned.

butterandjam

My mother had prepared me ahead of time and showed me the hidden stash of pads and a new elastic sanitary belt with hooks (remember those?). I started at 13, first in my class.

By 14 , I'd seen a discreet and mysterious magazine advert and sent off for the free sample. Two Tampax arrived by post in that useful plastic holder and I was instantly converted.

Mum was less impressed, already I'd ignored her warning "never wash your hair during a period" Now, even worse, Tampax meant I went swimming during periods. Her last ditch argument was that Tampax were unsuitable for girls (virgins). Obviously another myth, Mother; like the hair thing

You've reminded me of that - ie swimming.

I'm guessing - at some level - maybe those old-fashioned mothers were trying (even if they didn't realise it themselves) to "train" us into expecting that our bodies would restrict us (even though that doesnt happen with men). Tampons, tights, the Pill, legal abortion all left us much more free to live our lives in the same way as men. But why should we be stopped from swimming for several days a month - when boys weren't?

Maybe it was "Your body will stop you going swimming for some days a month" to "Your body will cost you money paying for medical provisions your brother doesnt have to pay for" all the way up the ladder to "Don't even think of a career - rather than a job - as your body will get in the way".

No wonder many of us came to regard our body as something "outside" ourselves and nothing to do with us - and that we just unfortunately inhabited. Yep....that's still how I look at it personally, ie "5'4"" of hassle looking after this thing I have to inhabit". Definitely I talk about "me" on the one hand and "my body" as something totally different and unrelated on the other hand. Total disconnect...

Boys - up to men - probably feel much more free in their bodies and not so aware their body may get in the way of what they themselves have decided iyswim.

My sisters are older, they told me. Mum explained when she felt it was time (I'd already heard), gave me all the necessary items.

Think I was around 12-13, being thin usually meant you started a bit later.Mum hadn’t warned me and it was a shock 😮
It was called euphemistically ‘being unwell’.

I was as green as grass :

My mother gave me a booklet about being hygienic which she thought would explain everything.

It didn't.

I started my periods early and I hid my underwear in the airing cupboard thinking that I had cancer.
The unpleasant smell alerted either my mother or grandma.
Being so thin and underweight the GP thought that it was a one off .
She thought that it was caused by the shock and stress of my best friend suddenly dying and the stress of a parent being ill .

But she was totally wrong .

My periods came regularly.

They were heavy ,clotty and very painful.
I had to take pain killers and when I started on a strong medication for IBS the pain relief worked on periods as well .

I didn't actually fill out - developing breasts and hips for another four years .

It was a traumatic episode.

Mine were very painful too Esmay and I remember my school giving me something called Indian Brandy.Anyone else remember that?

Another one here whose mother never told her a thing. When it happened, she gave me the dreaded Dr Whites and belt - despite the fact that by then (early 70s), adhesive pads were available. I remember she'd go to the little drapery shop in our village, ask in hushed tones to the assistant and be handed a brown paper bag. 'Periods' were never to be spoken about.
I also remember being away on a school trip when my period arrived - fortunately a friend had spare tampons and from then on, I stuck to using then, much to my mother's utter horror. I was also told, in no uncertain terms, that the worst possible thing I could ever to would be to get pregnant outwith marriage and thereby bring shame on the family. She even threatened to march me off to the doctor and have him check that I was still a virgin (I was 16 at the time). That did not end well...let's just say she drove me over the edge!

I remember my first period and my grandma telling my Mum. But I don’t remember any real explanation. No why you had them, or when. Just a sanitary belt and a packet of towels left on my bed. That would be 1956 and I was 12

Periods were never called periods but ‘that time of the month’ and my Nana referred to it as ‘aunt Annie visiting’. When writing a shopping list my mum would write STs.
It was like being in MI5. All so hush hush.

I'd be interested to know how younger women refer to/deal with the whole issue - probably a lot better than we did. Now who is feeling brave enough to start a thread on Mumsnet re this?

When were they told and how? Were they made to pay for their own provisions whilst still at school? All round - are they more "connected to their bodies" than many of us probably are? Are they well aware that "Why should they give their bodies a second thought - if men don't?"

Though I still think the biggest disservice done to our generation is we don't seem to have been told the pros and cons re pregnancies, childbirth, bringing up children and many must have gone ahead and got pregnant with very little idea what to expect from there on in and no computers they could google on to tell them all that missing information they needed (in order to be well-informed before making their choices).

My mum got my young (28) neighbour , to ‘chat’ to me about the birds and bees.

Remember all the ads, women laughing like drains as they played tennis in tight white jeans 😁

🤣🤣🤣Fallingstar balmy wasn’t it.
What was in the least bit secret about something that was happening to half the population at one time or another?

Thankfully I had 2 older sisters and I was very inquisitive, we shared a big bedroom, 4 of us including a younger sister. There was a dressing table drawer with sanitary towels and belts and I asked what they were for.

There is a lot of sadness in these descriptions. Shocking that girls were made to feel so bad and kept relatively uninformed. I kept it secret for three days! Hopefully today’s young women have more choice, such as cups and period pants and a more open view where such matters are discussed. Of course it’s also important that boys are well informed too! I became interested when I googled about how women coped in say, Victorian or Edwardian times.

My mother gave me the facts, when I was probably aged 11 as to what to expect without using any euphemisms. I think my periods started at age 12. She'd gave me everything required, sanitary towels that belt thingy to hold them in place plus hot water bottles to ease that horrible dragging pain.

The nuns at my convent school, always ready with helpful pronouncements around anything remotely related to sex, such as never wear patent shoes because one's knickers were reflected in them, boldly making the assumption one was wearing knickers in the first place Another handy hint "never to use tampons, even married people don't!" who did they think were buying the tampons, I'd ponder "aliens" They further muddied the waters by not specifying whether the married people were men or women that was kind of left hanging. In retrospect I'm thinking they were way ahead of their time possibly factoring in the 72 other sexes that were to inhabit the future.

Why do I keep hearing now "I'm on my period" strange expression, our generation tended to say "I've got my period" Hate euphemisms like "visitor" instead of period.

Bizarrely my Dad told me, and did a good job too.
I think my mum was there but she Def didn't explain anything. I think she was brought up very straight laced, my dad was one of 7 and was very relaxed about telling me.
I also went to my Dad when we were having trouble conceiving, we had a long walk and chat. He was always my go to, i miss him very much x

Such an interesting thread. I have really enjoyed reading everyone’s experiences, and I laughed out loud at some of the accounts, especially the ‘patent leather shoes reflect girls knickers *TerriBull’😆
Brilliant!

My mum told me about periods thankfully, and I was provided with the dreaded pads in plenty of time although being small and slim mine didn’t start until I was about 14.

My mother had been told nothing so she determined she’d answer my questions fully. I became the information person to the girls in my classroom at school

I was so delighted when I was in the loo at a community event and a gang of girls took over the next loo to help their friend who had just started her period. In my day it was almost a thing of great shame to let it be known you were having a period. I used to struggle with the Dr Whites and heavy painful periods (later found I had endometriosis) at school and was often in the medical room. I started at tte age of 15, was handed the packet but any info had come from a Biology lesson at school. My mother told people I already knew everything- which I didn't, still thought babies came out of your bellybutton!

Mother never talked about them - when I had my first period at 13½ her instructions to me amounted to, "Don't mess about with boys" - but I'd grown up seeing her deal with her own periods, Dr Whites pads and that dratted sanitary belt, so it was somehow not a scary thing when I first started. But the main education came from school science lessons - thank you Mr Platt.
There was definitely a stigma around Lil-lets and Tampax...bless my mum, they would have made her life so much nicer if she'd been able to put aside her fears and beliefs

I was ten when I started my periods. I was at my Grandma's at the time with my mum and sister, when I noticed blood in my white thick knickers. Not sure whether my mum sorted me out when I got home with the belt and pad. My mum told it was to do with having babies. My mum sent off for some booklets and gave them to my sister and me to read about periods.