Gransnet forums

Health

Let's Talk About the Menopause

(21 Posts)
Magenta8 Sun 22-Mar-26 09:38:02

Thank you to everyone who has contributed their views and experiences so far. My hopes for an interesting discussion have been more than fulfilled. There is clearly still a great deal that can and needs to said on the subject.

I apologise for listing this thread under 'Health' and not 'Menopause.'

MT62 Sun 22-Mar-26 09:25:47

Stephen Bartlett diary of a ceo. YouTube Paddyanne54

MT62 Sun 22-Mar-26 09:22:32

paddyann54

I had a horrible menopause ,I was prescribed HRT patches and told by my gynaecologist that I could stay on them for life ,
My sister had the same gynaecologist and the same advice.Oir grandmother and mother had severe osteoporosis,my mother lost 5 inches in height in her last years despite the ale dronic acid pill every Sunday for years…she had a dowagers hump and was doubly incontinent and for the last few years she needed a wheelchair .
I saw a different gynaecologist about 4 years ago and hewas of the same opinion that HRT was for life especially as I had broken bones twice in my fifties.
My sister had never had any breaks so they persuaded her to stop using the patches.
Within a few months she had two heart attacks and strokes that have left her paralysed and almost blind…the Gp didn,t tell her that these conditions were much increased when HRT was stopped after a long time.
My GP has now suggested I come off …IHave refused research shows that osteoporosis is only controlled while using the HRT and frequently happens when oestrogen drops rapidly.
I watched my mother die in extremepain so that fact has just made me more determined to stay on it for life as two gynaecologists advised.
I am terrified now that the Gp will try to coerce me to stop the patches and I,ll end up in a wheelchair or worse.
I,m waiting for a reply from a menopause specialist so fingers crossed the answer comes soon and that itsthe answer I want.Until then ots sleepless nights and very high anxiety levels.

I think a lot of GPs panicked during the late 80s/90s breast cancer scare, & stopped prescribing it.
My gp had no clue about HRT & sent me to see a HRT nurse at the hospital, who knew her stuff.
I thought I would stop HRT myself but felt dreadful, so I phoned the HRT nurse & she told me off “ what are you trying to do? Nose dive straight into the menopause”, she said.
So still on it.
I have no sex drive that’s only thing.
There are some really good podcasts on YouTube If you search menopause.
One especially is ‘Stephen Bartley as he gets some really interesting, informative people on there.

Luckygirl3 Sun 22-Mar-26 08:51:08

MT62

Luckygirl3

It is dreadful to hear how some women have suffered at this time. And many thanks for kind words about my DD. I am so worried about her. She feels her brain is being taken over and making her behave totally out of character, similarly to the antenatal problem. It is horrible to watch, and hard to know how best to help her.

I did not have too much trouble - my periods stopped because I had a hysterectomy at 42 (kept ovaries) , and when I did get symptoms I was able to have an oestrogen only patch as I had no womb lining to worry about. When I became 60 it was a time when medical advice was to not prescribe it over 60 and things did then go downhill - I have never felt as well as I did on the patch and osteoporosis set in quite rapidly.

You can't win!

My gynaecologist said he has women patients on it in their 80s 😳

Yes - the guidelines were later changed - I missed that boat!

Beautyschooldropout Sun 22-Mar-26 01:34:51

We badly need medical research with women as the primary research subjects and not as men being the default biological model.

paddyann54 Sun 22-Mar-26 00:59:04

I had a horrible menopause ,I was prescribed HRT patches and told by my gynaecologist that I could stay on them for life ,
My sister had the same gynaecologist and the same advice.Oir grandmother and mother had severe osteoporosis,my mother lost 5 inches in height in her last years despite the ale dronic acid pill every Sunday for years…she had a dowagers hump and was doubly incontinent and for the last few years she needed a wheelchair .
I saw a different gynaecologist about 4 years ago and hewas of the same opinion that HRT was for life especially as I had broken bones twice in my fifties.
My sister had never had any breaks so they persuaded her to stop using the patches.
Within a few months she had two heart attacks and strokes that have left her paralysed and almost blind…the Gp didn,t tell her that these conditions were much increased when HRT was stopped after a long time.
My GP has now suggested I come off …IHave refused research shows that osteoporosis is only controlled while using the HRT and frequently happens when oestrogen drops rapidly.
I watched my mother die in extremepain so that fact has just made me more determined to stay on it for life as two gynaecologists advised.
I am terrified now that the Gp will try to coerce me to stop the patches and I,ll end up in a wheelchair or worse.
I,m waiting for a reply from a menopause specialist so fingers crossed the answer comes soon and that itsthe answer I want.Until then ots sleepless nights and very high anxiety levels.

MT62 Sun 22-Mar-26 00:11:21

I struggled with hot dos, not sweats, but just like my head was on fire & the nausea I felt was horrible.
Anything hot could bring it on several times a day.
I would slope off to the spare room just to get in a cold bed.
HRT cured the hot flashes within days.

MT62 Sun 22-Mar-26 00:06:53

Luckygirl3

It is dreadful to hear how some women have suffered at this time. And many thanks for kind words about my DD. I am so worried about her. She feels her brain is being taken over and making her behave totally out of character, similarly to the antenatal problem. It is horrible to watch, and hard to know how best to help her.

I did not have too much trouble - my periods stopped because I had a hysterectomy at 42 (kept ovaries) , and when I did get symptoms I was able to have an oestrogen only patch as I had no womb lining to worry about. When I became 60 it was a time when medical advice was to not prescribe it over 60 and things did then go downhill - I have never felt as well as I did on the patch and osteoporosis set in quite rapidly.

You can't win!

My gynaecologist said he has women patients on it in their 80s 😳

Allsorts Sat 21-Mar-26 22:59:16

I never had a problem but knew people who did. They were put on HRT or primrose oil. When I think about it I think my daughter completely changed character which I now think was due to the menopause, don't know why I never realised. She always kept things bottled up and wouldn't ever talk about emotions. It seem so no unfair that people like me sail through it and others have such a dreadful time but things are better now and help us avaiable .

Luckygirl3 Sat 21-Mar-26 22:38:44

It is dreadful to hear how some women have suffered at this time. And many thanks for kind words about my DD. I am so worried about her. She feels her brain is being taken over and making her behave totally out of character, similarly to the antenatal problem. It is horrible to watch, and hard to know how best to help her.

I did not have too much trouble - my periods stopped because I had a hysterectomy at 42 (kept ovaries) , and when I did get symptoms I was able to have an oestrogen only patch as I had no womb lining to worry about. When I became 60 it was a time when medical advice was to not prescribe it over 60 and things did then go downhill - I have never felt as well as I did on the patch and osteoporosis set in quite rapidly.

You can't win!

Magenta8 Sat 21-Mar-26 22:34:08

I don't know what your agenda is Aveline. My agenda is not to lecture GNs about something they already knew about. I was interested in personal experiences and views. I was hoping for an interesting discussion.

TheSunRisesInTheEast Sat 21-Mar-26 22:21:45

Your daughter has my sympathy, Luckygirl3.

I almost lost my mind due to the menopause, I could have coped with hot sweats, brain fog and hair loss, but the mental breakdown was something else. I felt like something/someone had taken over my brain, I didn't feel like me at all, it was very scary. My husband was my rock. I was put on tablets for anxiety (Citalopram) and still take it, I got weekly telephone calls from a counsellor to encourage me to get out of the house. I am much better now, but have the occasional wobble, I don't like large crowds or a lot of noise.

I was put on HRT and took it for a year, almost continual bleeding, which after 7 years of no periods was a real drag. My friend started taking it too, she also bled most of the time. After a year, my friend was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and had a hysterectomy, I was terrified it was happening to me. I went to my doctor and explained my fears, he told me to go cold turkey with the HRT and I stopped it straight away. I had a scan to rule out anything sinister going on with my reproductive organs and felt immediate relief that all was well and I was no longer messing with mother nature, which is how I felt about it.

Free from HRT, the bleeding stopped along with the worry of taking it. Thankfully the sweats didn't come back, that was a bonus.

I had to have two cysts drained from my breast, the horror of feeling lumps in my breast frightened the life out of me and the nurse said that no-one who worked in the breast clinic would take HRT. I felt such relief that I was no longer taking it.

Thank goodness all that is behind me.

Luckygirl3, I hope your daughter soon feels better and more like her old self 💐.

Deedaa Sat 21-Mar-26 21:40:47

The only thing I can say is that my migraines stopped overnight. I hadn't even realised that mine were basically hormonal, but the last 29 years without them have been wonderful. I think I might have had a hot flush once, but that was about it.

ViceVersa Sat 21-Mar-26 21:37:17

I went through hell and don't mind admitting it. I was prepared for the hot flushes, but no-one warned about everything else - the insomnia or the absolutely crippling depression. I spent sleepless night after sleepless night trying to work out the easiest way to end it all. HRT made it worse for me too.
I never admitted to anyone just how bad I felt, but the doctor did eventually prescribe me antidepressants and I'm still on them to this day. I wouldn't be here without them.

Luckygirl3 Sat 21-Mar-26 21:14:51

My DD is going through hell. She has a history of serious antenatal depression and is very hormone sensitive. It was dreadful then and is dreadful now. I just wish I could help her.
HRT has made it worse.
Who'd be a woman?

Aveline Sat 21-Mar-26 21:07:39

We know.

Magenta8 Sat 21-Mar-26 20:58:23

Aveline

*Magenta8*. We know. Tell us something we don't know

You probably know this already Aveline. The Greek word for uterus is hystera, hence surgical removal of the uterus is called a hyterectomy. Greek physicians believed that the seat of emotions in a woman was the uterus and the word hysteria is derived from this belief.

Aveline Sat 21-Mar-26 20:42:36

Magenta8. We know. Tell us something we don't know

keepingquiet Sat 21-Mar-26 20:24:51

I was the former- didn't really have one.

JamesandJon33 Sat 21-Mar-26 20:18:38

Sorry, I can’remember it. It was so long ago

Magenta8 Sat 21-Mar-26 19:09:16

The menopause affects different women in different ways. At one end of the scale there are women breeze through it and can't see what all the fuss is about, whole while others find it a devastating experience physically and mentally.