Black Dog 30

HVDY DH has no redness in the right foot ,which is the worst. Both ankles have been swollen for mths but right one worst. He could walk up to about 3/4 ml on holiday but its so bad now he can barely walk more than 100yds- with a stick.

Scaredycat So sorry I made e clanger there. With not coming in yesterday I mistook your post and thought it todays.
So hope youve today went well for you.
HVDY Not sure about gout ,will look it up. GP stopped the Amlodipine on Tuesday so DH not taken them for 2 dys now.
Feeling really lost tonight. Just after my post DH saw a message from GP surgery. The MRI has been rejected and hes being sent to back pain clinic instead. No reason why. Another message after that said the Vascular appt he was given in December( that Ive been trying to contact them about to bring forward - ie trying to discover name of consultant) has been cancelled and put backwards another week.
Its ridiculous- hes going to need a wheelchair soon!

ScaredyCat I'm so sorry, I didn't see your post straight after mine last night. What a poignant day for you, tinged with such sadness and missing your son. Nobody can really understand that type of loss unless they've experienced it - something no parent should ever have to go through.

EllieAnne Of course, I expect you'll have a lot of singing to do before the concert. I find it quite depressing to be reminded about Christmas already.

Doodle Glad you had such a nice time at church. Is your new vicar quite young? So long as he's friendly and capable, that's the main thing. I hope you feel better tomorrow, after a good night's rest.

SweetpeaSue My friend and I were talking about how the young ones today want everything and can't wait - in our day, if we couldn't afford something, we had to have second-hand, credit, or go without. A young woman on Facebook was appealing to people to "gift" her a microwave! Obviously she can't cook! Could your husband have gout? Is he still on the Amlodipine? If these new pills don't suit me (I'll try them for a fortnight), I'll stop taking them. My average BP is 142/78. Aww, Fluffball must love her Costa visits and walks to see the ducks. "King" Jaffa. That's not what I call him when he keeps begging!

Hope everyone has a peaceful night x

Wyllow Do hope your psychologist gets back to you and can put your mind at rest by understanding your needs and giving more visits from CPNs and more time with herself . I know you fear abandonment though Im sure that wont happen with all your MH background and its not too far distant that you were very ill indeed ,after the abuse from your ex.
You have a lot going on right now with your new friend , your art work exhibits and the Quaker zooms ,plus your family means so much to you and keeping in touch.
So glad you find your gym helps a lot .
Hope you managed to get there this afternoon.
HVDY Forgot to say- hope the prescribed diuretic doesnt cause you more loo trips!

Had F today. Went for a Costa ( she still made a little fuss but not too bad) then DH sat on a bench while I went and walked her by the side of stream with ducks. Felt very strange leaving DH sat there and I know he wanted to come but he cant walk on that foot. Its awful really.
Tried much of afternoon to get through to Vascular dpt. No one answers. Left message and phone number. GP said they'd know which consultant DH is under but Im doubtful.
Also not sure if it is DHs hip thats causing his right foot so much pain. He finds it difficult to move it one way or the other . Not red but very swollen.

Another F day tomorrow.
Take care everyone and love to all.x

Doodle Glad the service was so lovely yesterday. I expect the new vicar, having a family too, must be quite down to earth and be able to communicate in an up to date modern way with all the congregation. Oh dear, hope you feel better tomorrow and are not coming down with anything.
HVDY Times were hard when we were younger with a family- we also had mortgage on DHs wage and of course the interest rates went sky high. It gave us practice on how to live on a shoestring if nothing else. Oh King Jaffa is so well looked after .😊 Glad you had a good long chat with your friend.
EllieAnne I dont want to think of Christmas yet but Im sure having the choir start up again will give you some enjoyment . It must be great to have a nice singing voice - Id have loved that. I dont think my vocal cords get much use actually as my voice seems to be very quiet! Hope your DH gets sorted quickly . Its thought that my DHs foot may be caused by a pinched nerve in back thats making his hip v painful but I dont think the GP really knows.
Scaredycat It must be quite a day for you with so many different emotions and thoughts all caught up in celebrating your birthday, wedding anniversary and your son's birthday. Such a lot all going on at the same time. I do hope you have a nice day too though it must be so hard. I hear the yearning and missing your son in that last sentence. Im so very sorry. You are such a fun and young -sounding person the way you write to us . Its difficult to even imagine how much you have suffered and been through. Hoping tomorrow sees so much love coming your way - it is much deserved. A warm hug from me too. X
Nadateturbe So nice to see you in. Take care of yourself. We know you read and we all think of you and know you're very much here.
Wyllow

Evening all. Beautiful service in church last night. Full of flowers and candles. So pretty
Ellie Anne where will your Christmas concert be this year?
Wyllow I hope you get the care you want. You do well presenting your case. Did you get to the gym?
Hope the blood thinner does cause your Dh internal bleeds. They have to be so careful with what they prescribe.
New vicar is a family man with two children. Early days yet but he seems nice.
HVDY I hope the diuretic works and helps your BP. All these things take time to adjust to.
Scaredycat what an ache that must cause you every time your anniversary comes round. I can’t imagine how you cope with the loss of a child. Congrats on your anniversary. Do you have plans?
Sweetpeasue sorry you felt bad yesterday. Hope today has been a better day. I’m so tired tonight and feel a bit fluey or sneezy. Going to bed with an antihistamine soon in the hope of sleeping it off,

Hvdy it takes us from now to December to learn all the songs for the Christmas concert .
I’ve seen Christmas stuff in the shops already. I don’t like it either ☹️

EllieAnne I hope that tablet works as it should for your husband's blood clot. He's had a lot of health problems for a few months, hasn't he? Although at 80, I suppose that's often the case. You do things at your son's regularly. That must be a big help for him and his wife. I hope they appreciate what you do for them. Christmas songs?? It's September. I don't like all the Christmas things starting as early as this.

Wyllow3 New coffee table is just plain, nothing fancy. The cat carrier we've got is perfectly serviceable but looks scruffy because it had been in the shed and paint was spilt on it. Did you get to the gym ok? "The system" isn't easy to get into or understand for many people, is it?

ScaredyCat Happy birthday! . I hope you've been having a lovely day.

I saw the GP about my BP - the most senior GP there, who is so lovely - she's prescribed a diuretic, which she said shouldn't make me wee a lot more (we'll see), but if it does, it'll settle down after a few weeks. The Pharmacist at Asda said it won't be ready to collect until Sunday, as it's been listed as a repeat prescription (the clowns). Met my friend for a sandwich and cake, had a laugh and a chat for 3 hours. Hope ALL BDers have been ok x

I've been doing admin but the sort that isnt stressful but moves matters on a bit.

I have tackled my psychologist who is trying to space visits for her and my CPN out even further than we agreed. In an email. I realise the pressure on services and acknowledged that but gave reasons why her idea was far too far from our agreement 3 weeks ago...and the not inconsiderable matter that I have had 2 CPN's and only feel one is right for me.

Feel for those who haven't got my knowledge of "the system". Ask, ask, ask clearly and to the point, know how the system works, be realistic etc - well its taken me 24 years to learn.

Still determined to go to the gym but that means actually getting dressed. 😳

Have a nice choir - I guess you have to get practicing early.

I'm determined to have a gym session today, I've not been enough.

Apixaban is a blood thinner so he could not take it when platelets were low because of the risk of bleeding.
Going to son 1 to do some housework and ironing and hopefully back in time for first night of choir.
Christmas songs already 🎄🎄🎄

I don't understand those drugs, Ellieanne

What a day, Doodle. I bet you helped out a great deal. I hope she is lovely.

Hvdy he is on apixaban. He had to stop it when the platelets were low but back on it now

Evening all. Been at church most of the day and just got in. Our new vicars inauguration. Sorry I’m too tired to post. Sleep well xx

HVDY You have me spotted. Yes I was a big supporter of Greenham Common in its principles, and great to see women out, tho I had a very small baby and couldn’t cope without my support at home! My MH stuff got in the way, I was a very unconfident mum you see. As for the Me too movement, well after my experiences with secondEx but particularly with a sexual assault, that proved I was very much “me too”. And I hope what happened to me, as is likely, will change practice within the organisation.

That was indeed a very toxic environment, that you describe. I never have quite understood why women have to be sort of competitive - and for whom - for men? Surely we are better than that?

But what probably did make a difference there was that when I did work, and study, it was in very women friendly environments - social services and education, often women bosses of the right kind. Oh there was Stuff There, and I had a certain amount of envy directed my way, (my education, my fit body simply achieved by loving exercise) .People would try and did succeed quite a bit putting me down

I don’t cope well with envy at all. I actually tried so long to try to make myself smaller and less whatever it is. I hid my qualifications, and never dressed up. (I do have a regret about not being glamorous looking back, yes really. 🤣)

Hey well done reporting that post. Yes, how dare they come into our special space indeed!
I bet you enjoyed your not getting dressed day. Essential to get in touch with the inner slob sometimes and Hide From the World.

nadateturbe! Just lovely to see you in. No wonder you ran out of ooooompf!

Yes, ideal weather. I find, even if indoors all day, the sun shining in makes a great difference, it lifts the spirits. I’m so sorry you too had the bitch experience. We when let ourselves down when we do that.
Yes, I ma now “hooked” on those M n S soups. The tinned ones are nice too but it’s hard to find one without, or at least with very few, onions as they are no go for my tum. But that butternut squash one didn’t have a lot, and will be bought again - I have ordered some of M n S’s fab heatgen tops before everyone snaffles them as it gets colder so will stock up. Hey, snap - the retail park with M and s in is just 8 mins drive, and also fab news -they are opening a Waterstones nearly next door to the M n S….books, pictures, presents, coffee…..

^Benign gossip and a good old natter is completely different from bitchiness, isn’t it^…I bet your 2 hours natter tonight was a good one.

I think we as women tend to sort of “work out” what we feel not alone, but often by chatting things through, we are generally less self contained and unable to compartmentalise as men.

Yes you are spot on about Amazon. Frankly, it helps me out so much with this and that, ordering late at night when I suddenly realise I have run out and so on of this or that. I just wished their filters worked better.

I don’t want 1000 choices in midi knickers, thanks. “I said midi, not full brief!!!!!”

But when it comes to a nice choice of cat carrier, HVDY…and what is the coffee table like?
I’m glad that your eyes are a little better.

EllieAnne this is bad stuff for you. DH isn’t it seems the sort to be likely to do his best to care for himself, he is used to you picking up the pieces. Yes of course he should have gone to the doc!
Now there is a nice comment for you - you never say how you look, I know you lack confidence, but out it came from the nurse! Yes he is old ..but take that complement!

Oh my….well I am sure you helped said nice old man a very great deal and that kindness says a lot about you, it would be nice tho if you had bumped into someone to have a nice natter with not an off-load. But I would have listened too, of course. My bet is that DD is right, re on the spectrum, it really figures.

Well people weariness is very understandable Sweetpeasue, and I also, find its a sort of delayed reaction.
Hits one well after the event, even if the event has been lovely and worthwhile.

Today was a mixed blessing, I have also been too tired: new Friend gets tired too and then his short term memory is poor, (but them mine is hardly working well)

and he is trying to come to terms with not getting on with the project he had hoped to complete in his life after writing many books.
Its a question of making choices that all of us here face - less energy, wanting to do x,y,z,a,b,c, and having to choose and having to let go.

My journey through MH problems has meant I have let a good deal go, not earning yet again I cannot do what some of my contemporaries at the gym can do at 75. I realised tonight my psychologist has not really contacted me as needed, so have emailed her, I know she will respond quickly,

what is a concern is the pressure on MH services and my fear of abandonment.

Probably the key one. But tonight I cooked up a great stir fry that will last a few days added to this and that. 🙂. and thank you for the comments on the pictures, yes I am happy with their simplicity and ease of understanding for all.

Missing BD’s…take care, see you tomorrow.

EllieAnne A Doppler ultrasound measures blood flow and will pick up blocked arteries and/or clots. Did they give him any treatment, like Heparin or Warfarin? Oh dear, some people do look old for their age (my late SIL always looked old, even in her 40s)

SweetpeaSue Hope you sleep well tonight and feel better tomorrow.

Jaffa's a spoilt brat - his last meal of the day has always been at 10pm, but he starts hanging about and looking sorry for himself earlier and earlier - from 8.15 (bearing in mind he's fed at 6). He's had freshly-cooked salmon and chicken. Little beggar.

Night, all x

Hi all
Nadateturbe- Good to see you. Just happy to know you are alright.
HVDY- I forgot to say we also had 2 kittens at that time too!!
Just looked at the weather for tomorrow - it’s dry but cloudy so should be ok.
You made it a lovely day for LG- she sounds like a every good
Eater what a lovely grandad to make Spag Bol.
I have tinnitus too-it started when my Mum died and has never stopped even for a minute - luckily only in the left ear.
Glad your eyes are feeling better it,must feel a long time they have been sore now.
Doodle- hope your new Vicar had a great first day and that you now have someone you are all happy with.
Hope too,you felt better and could enjoy the day.
Crying probably kicked off your headache- it’s a very physical thing as well isn’t it.
SweetPeaSue- The Art ladies are from our old Life Class - none,of us go to a class at the moment.
I think Fluff should have her own loyalty card for Costas . Sounds like she’s feeling more settled there now.
So glad for,you both that DH got his F2F and hope he doesn’t have to wait too long for the MRI.
Wyllow- I too enjoy the company of women- although over the years have met many I have wanted to run away from.Still the best laughs come from spending time with the women in my life.
Yes you had a very full on week with your new friend so today’s quiet walk was just what you needed and you described it with warmth and delight.
EllieAnne- I,m sorry about your DH s leg problems it must be a worry . Feet are not the nicest looking things I agree - except babies feet which are just so cute. I hope he got his scan done.
Good idea to have a walk and clear your head.
That old man must have been so happy to have you to talk to- a feel good thing for you too.

Today we met my other friend with dementia and her Son for a drink at our Pub by the Green. Her memory is just about disappeared but she can remember us and other people- so unlike our other friend. Her DS is worn out with caring for her but remains good natured and kind.
Tomorrow is my BD and our Wedding Anniversary. It would have been my DS 60th Birthday as well - how I wish he was here .
Love to all and hope the night is a peaceful one for everyone.

Very tired today. Think Im getting a bit of a Fibro flare after holiday and weekend family excitement but forced myself to go to book group and feel dreadful.
So sorry about your DH * EllieAnne* Understandable you not knowing about his foot and leg under the circumstances. Sure you must have helped that man in the waiting ,that was kind.

Back tomorrow .love to all.xx

He had a Doppler thing on it. I don’t really know what it is, but he needs a proper scan now.
Hes ok. He doesn’t react to things the way other people do. Dd thinks he’s on the autistic spectrum so that could be why.
His leg is sore but he has hip problems so it could be that or the clot.
I don’t look young I think it’s more that he looks old!

EllieAnne Did your husband have the scan of his leg? How's he now? You must look very much younger than you are, if they thought you were the daughter of an 80-year-old! You must look like a caring person for that old man to talk to you like that. You might have been the only nice person he'd spoken to this week.....

Did some ironing, chatted with the day centre bloke for an hour, then a friend rang me for almost 2 hours this evening. I've had a really lazy day. How has everyone else been? x

Wyllow3 Your photographs are beautiful. Tender Touch is a very good name for them.
I'm sure it was stressful meeting your friends family, but at least its done now, out of the way, next time will be easier. Great news about the insurance. Hopefully it's sorted soon, and you can get the work done. Not something to look forward to unfortunately. But I think it's a priority.
Your friend must have been hungry after such a long walk. We buy all our soups at M&S. Theyre a very good price. We've one a 5 minute drive away.
I too can imagine you at Greenham Common. It sounds right up your street.
Hope you've had an easy day .

I went to the hospital with dh today to get checked for a possible clot. It looks like he has a clot in his leg. Waiting for a scan. There is poor blood flow to the leg and his toe is a terrible mess.
I got a very odd look from the dr and nurse as if they thought I should have noticed it but we don’t share a room and I have almost a phobia about feet. I can cope with little children but anything older I can’t deal with. But he should definitely have been to dr about it.
They seem very worried about the clot . Mentioned a possible op. But platelets are up and steroids reduced.
I went for a walk when we got back. My head was full of stuff.
One of the staff asked him if I was his daughter!
And while I was waiting a nice old man told me all his problems so at least I was useful.

Nadateturbe Thank you, my eyelids are still sore but better than they were. I finally had a shower and got dressed at 11.30. I've ordered a new cat carrier and a small coffee table from Amazon. I could have gone to some shops for those but I'm too idle today. Hope you have one of your better days x

Sorry, can't do any more right now. Screen getting to me!😏