Black Dog 30

Hi all
Doodle- never apologise for not feeling like or not feeling able to post.That sadness is so understandable although I expect you all remembered the funny times you shared too. It’s the realisation that they are now in the past. The finality of loss is the hardest thing to deal with isn’t it.
DH will have an ECG tomorrow so we,ll see what happens after that.Its ludicrous isn’t it.
Hope you enjoyed Church today.
HVDY- there’s nothing worse than those people who put everything on. They smile with their mouths but there is nothing behind their eyes.
Dolly Parton was a lovely example of a genuinely good,kind friendly person wasn’t she.
I,ve always hated housework from the very first day my first DH and I got back from Honeymoon😩 The repetitiveness drives you nuts. Trouble is I,m sure like me you like your house clean and tidy but Oh what a pain it is.
I,m like you I can chat for England- but love to listen too.
Glad you had a happy day with LG yesterday. It’s cooler now isn’t it .
Willow- The blood test was done at the surgery as the ECG will be tomorrow. So we,ll wait and see what the Doc says. The text DH got said something about our health provider would be in touch. Ha Ha.
Maybe it would be better if you just threw yellow and grey rocks at some of those people!!!
How amazing that your Zoom meeting revealed other people who have gone through something similar to your troubles. Hopefully they talked about how they coped and the effect on them. Yes all you really want is a sincere and honest apology delivered with sincerity.
Hope you,ve got Happy Feet now .
Also I hope that today’s outing is full of kindness,friendship and fun too. It,ll be more comfortable as you are familiar with 2 of the people.
SweetPeaSue- do hope you are enjoying your time in Wales.
Ellie Anne- you have been a bit quiet I hope you are all right.

Love to all mentioned and those we miss

Excuse my spelling, I'm rather tired.

Best nights all, and look forward to seeing people news and catch ups tomorrow.

That is a really bizarre series of events, Scardeycat…so what will happen next? I suppose the tests will go to the GP and you’ll both have to make sure it’s followed up?

Well done with the fluffballs. I ..erm have a cleaner instead! Highly recommended, if you find the right one. Are they cat related?

Your friend is so brave, so very brave. But it takes more than that to squish the closeness of years of friendship.

Yes, what you say, for Sweetpeasue, nadateturbe, and Ellieanne.

That must have indeed been upsetting Doodle, meeting with DH’s best friend and wife. So much past, so many memories. Understood - xxx

Yellow rock is where when dealing with someone like D, you are minimally polite but do not engage.

Grey rock is literally not recognising them and walking on by.

Not really comfortable when you know that person is struggling, but given her lack of self understanding giving an inch she will take a mile. We are not “supposed” to be angry in faith circumstances, but people are people.

That took me a long time to learn. Probably still haven’t “Got” it yet.

It’s a useful technique, isn’t it HVDY. You cannot totally avoid some people but you can give no openings - unless they demand an explanation of something and even then I ^think I would manage to say, “talk to X about it”

Now, that was a happy day today with LG and park and my - do they love a giant sandpit. I hope DH manages to extract the information from Son. Or egg him on a bit.

I poodled about in the morning - organised a couple of things - then loafed along to had a nice long easy gym n natter session., then came home via the posh charity shop, tool a blouse back, found a very pretty Monsoon one as I had to swap it.

Then the amazing bit…usual time, usual Quaker Zoom. Except we talked about peace testimony, but what happens if you are personally attacked? Someone (a man) had in their home, and chose not to fight back, which actually diffused it. He was fortunate. But then I came out with what had happened to me in Quakers, and instead of the expected disapproving silence - I got “me to’s!!! From two women, and, from men where it had happened in their local space, and it all got well taken about, like how we are so very bad with conflict of all kinds, and some had even left their meeting - I had stood up for myself and gone to the police who had believed me so they had to do something in the end! Tlaed of the difficulty of forgiving, and that what one wants are signs of true repentance,
ie not a “I’m sorry I upset you: nut “what I did was dreadful and I cannot say how….etc etc, so you actually feel the change.

I have to get ready for tomorrow, as its the orthotics in faraway hospital appointment, usual impossible parking, so half car to gym then a taxi from there, same in reverse,

Then it feels rather a lot atm but after that, a nice outing for lunch in a particularly pretty bit of the High Peak meeting more of new friends family - at another pub, this one with breathtaking views: but rather depends on the weather as to a walk and the best view.

Atm I feel I just want to sleep all day tommorw and hide, but the outing is such a nice one - more of new friends family, and only an afternoon not a full day with more new people as well as the two met before.

Wyllow3 DH and I have always had a close relationship with our sons. Son2 came here at 5.30, stayed for dinner, then took LG home (DIL and her girl were doing something else, which was fine, as it gave us a chance to see him on his own). Not sure what's happening with Son1 and the doctor's. DH will see him later and find out. I had to Google "yellow rock". I've never heard of it. I get the idea now. I can't be bothered with those fake people who pretend to be friendly but aren't really.

ScaredyCat What a farce. Your husband needs to have a definite appointment. Housework is so pointless, isn't it? No sooner has the place been cleaned than it needs doing again. Some people, like your friend, have a lot to cope with. Nice that you can both chat so much. It's always good to talk.

Doodle Sorry you feel so sad. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

EllieAnne How did last weekend go?
SweetpeaSue Hope the holiday is going well and that the weather's fine.

DH and I took LG to White Post Farm (been a few times), fed the various animals, and she played on the park part and in the sandpit, and we had a picnic. Did a lot of walking, and it was rather warm out. Long, but happy day. x

Feeling very down tonight, I met up with DH’s best friend and wife and had a lovely chat with them. Talked a lot about DH but it just didn’t feel right without DH being there. I feel so sad tonight so won’t post much if you don’t mind,
Scaredycat yes I think gum is helping thanks. That is not right about your Dh. I’d go back to the GP and see if you can get an explanation
Sweetpeasue hope you’re having a good relaxing time.
HVDY love those Pom Pom slippers. Hope your Ds gets seen soon. Ridiculous situation.
Wyllow ah I see D turned up and wasn’t supposed to be there. That must have been upsetting for you. Hope she realises the trouble she’s caused and doesn’t do any more damage. Sorry I have no idea what yellow rock is.
Take care all

Hi all
HVDY- love those slippers -especially the Pom poms.
Why is wrong with our sutgeries,appointment systems and even hospitals. Your DS needs seeing now .
My DH actually saw a Dr on Friday and was told he would be referred to cardiology. Yesterday he got a message on the NHS website saying his referral had been turned down . This was before the results of his blood test and the ECG he will have on Thursday. You couldn’t make it up.
Hope you are having a lovely day with LG.
Willow- glad you had a satisfying appt with your Psychologist.
Yes if only you could ignore D- she sounds a very self centred and self satisfied person. There’s nothing stopping her changing except her own vanity.
No not a quiet day. DH and I tackled the fluff balls that are trying to take over our house!! Then did some other housework. What a never ending task cleaning is- rather be doing almost anything else😩
Then in the afternoon I visited my poorly friend and we had a good old chat. 30 odd years of friendship and still we never shut up. She is waiting for the results from her PET scan and other tests. I am in awe of her bravery.
A coasting day was what you needed- just at home and chilling You, e been busy lately.
SweetPeaSue- Hope all is well in beautiful Wales.
Doodle- how is the chewing gum therapy going?
Nadateturbe- hope the cooler weather is suiting you better.Although it’s not that cool here yet.
Ellie Anne- Bet you’re glad that weekend is over

Love to all.

.

I think you have learned from your past how family matters and given them trust and love and care, HVDY. What a lovely spot to visit. I love eating out, well clearly you do 🙂.Hmm. Desert. Favourites for me…. I don’t like a lot, but a hot rhubarb crumble with real vanilla ice cream not too sweet, has to come top.

This is very bad about DS getting an appointment! Can he go to the drop in GP practice in town? Yes there is a wait but he could ring first and find out the most quiet time?

I just adore those slippers! Built for a big smile!

D was there, Doodle. She was not supposed to be, and sat next to me and was a greeter.

She wasn’t down for it, she craves positive attention and is needy and I yellow rocked her.

Then rabbits on in actual meeting about being not only kind but gentle. Yup. But OTOH, she has realised and wants to change. Not my job.

My psychologist was great, basically going for avoidance I think, since I love other Q meets.
Oh my 🤣 well that teaches you - the Miss High and Mighty puss strolling past I can just picture it.

Time to get some posh new slippers Scaredycat go for comfort a style. (Whatever that is, in slippers), `I wear comfy loose socks and some very comfy slip in flip flops with wide straps. Tres alternative gran look. And what have you been up to? A quiet day?

Mine was, I didnt go out. Was totally cream crackered and it was good, tbh, to just let go and coast.

Hoping your holiday is OK, Sweetpeasue, take care now.

thinking of course of other absent BD's xx

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Doodle Cats are funny creatures. Jaffa often has a sulky expression or one of "I haven't had any food for 2 hours". I bet your friend's cat will go to you if you speak to it. Hope the chewing gum helps you. I wonder if one of my fillings has come out, because I've had awful sensitivity today, when I've had cold drink. I'll have to see the dentist.

ScaredyCat The slippers Son1 bought from Corfu. I've now got 5 pairs of different slippers! He rang his GP at 8am, was told someone would email him ( what good is that???). Nobody did. He rang again and was told there was no capacity. He's contacted the Practice Manager to complain, and still hasn't been able to get an appointment. How was your day?

Off to bed soon. LG tomorrow x

Hi all
HVDY- Oh my goodness poor man why has it got so bad? Yes my Sis and I could talk for England but I know you can natter for hours too. What a kind Son to bring you those slippers. My current ones are awful - real old lady ones . They look well worn - a bit like their owner😀
What a lovely place Southwell looks - not heard of that before. I love that you both enjoy your days out- we do too.
Your experiences when young were very harrowing - you have great strength of character.
Hope your Son gets some antibiotics for his leg- there’s no skin on shins as I know to my cost. 650 photos on holiday is going some but I understand - it’s a hobby that just takes over when faced with a new or even well beloved place
Doodle- Hope the gum helps your mouth to feel more comfortable- it’s worth a try before the dreaded dentist.
Your friends cat was just doing what cats do best - being awkward. Next time he,ll probably rub round your legs like he’s your best friend!
SweetPeaSue- hope you’re all having a great time together.
Wyllow- Focus on the fact you enjoyed your Q meeting and met some old and a nice new friend.
I feel like Doodle - you are not responsible for D.s state of mind more the opposite . Please don’t allow it to spoil things for you as you are progressing again and on the way up.
I hope the psychologist was a help this morning and helped give you a better perspective.
We all get snappy at times- friends too!!
EllieAnne- how did the weekend go?

Love to allxx

hVDY what a lovely place to visit. Looks so tranquil. Hope you had a good time.
Wyllow you are not responsible for Ds emotional state. Sorry I can’t really tell from your post if she was there or not. Please don’t let this drag you down now. You’re doing so well. Hope the psychologist was able to help.
My gum has just arrived. I’m chewing the first piece. Thanks for the tip.
Scaredycat went to visit a friend for coffee this morning. Her cat came to the door to be let in. She came in took a good long look at me then with her tail high in the air she’s turned round and walked back out again. If cats could have a haughty expression then she had one. I know my place 🤣
Sweetpeasue hope you’re having a restful time.

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Reg Taylor's Swan sanctuary at Southwell

Wyllow3 You know I've had traumatic events in my teens, but I didn't have any form of counselling (a couple of things I kept from my parents, indeed even my husband). I believe I can cope with anything now -we shall see. I hope you had a good heart to heart with your Psychologist. You trust her and feel at ease with her. Decided not to go to Matlock and went to Southwell instead. There's a big garden centre (not that we like gardening at all) with a swan sanctuary - ducks, geese and herons roam about and have 3 ponds. Lovely restaurant there. We had delicious sandwiches, then I had trifle ( my favourite dessert of all). Very nice day. Son1 was waiting for a GP to contact him.

(btw, yes cellulitis is the concern and best seen asap.)

Thank you HVDY that encouragement came at just the right time. (Well all the theories say that trauma doesn't just go away....... as you know yourself ...I genuinely thought things had settled more, and as you say, the psychologist could not have come at a better time...I messed up with a friend late afternoon, repairable but I got snappy)

Have a lovely day out, I hope you get sun and a nice time together. You are good at finding little outings. a pub meal report will be needed 🙂

Wyllow3 As someone with a more-than-average bust size, it's always a relief to get my bra off . I hope Son1 will ring the GP. A chemist wouldn't be able to prescribe antibiotics for that. He needs to be careful of getting Cellulitis. He's got 40,000 photos on his computer/phone! Mine go back to 2010, but his go back further. It's a shame the MrA/QuakerD situation is still affecting you. Hope the Psychologist can offer some decent advice.

Up at 6.30. DH and I are going to have a day in Matlock. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day. x

It’s a wonderful place HVDY and I’m glad that Jaffa is now eating better. I dont find braless comfy, not that there is a lot to put in one . I have lightweight night bras no hooks or anything. What nice gifts. Oh dear, I think son needs that doc visit. Or maybe a good chemist?

..650 photos, well, that needs a bit of a cull…I used to take a lot more, but realise that all it means is trouble deciding what to keep.

Scardeycat I do believe it, thats awful. Yes - they ned to go to MP and so on, tbh. But some people cant just do that kind of stuff.You have been very handy round the home - well done you. Nice to get a long chat with sis.

I’m glad it was nice at church 🙂 Doodle.

I had a shock today. I had been told that Quaker D who has caused so much grief would not be there.

Big trigger for me I’m afraid that has shaken my day up. I’ve written to the lady more or less trying to sort it all out because a lot of these post trauma feelings were a nasty shock I thought I had dealt with them.

D is not well currently emotionally so really it has to be me holding back…..I have more resources - so it was nice being to the meeting and seeing some loved familiar faces and a chat with a nice young women

but I left after not too long and its been haunting me and I am so, so very tired struggling with it returning after months of it all happening.

I would maybe not have minded had it not all left me with fatigue that limits my life….. as what she did was pretty awful ….and I had trusted her but…

Nice psychologist as it happens in the morning.

There is a lovely moon out if you can see it. South south East, low in the sky, looking down on us all.

Doodle We don't see LG's sister very often - she sees friends, goes to town, etc., the same as Son1's stepson - but we treat all the GC the same. Son1 and family enjoyed their week away. Between them, they took 650 photos! They shared the album with me, on Google Photos. I've told him he needs antibiotics for his shin, but he probably won't be able to get a GP appointment. Your mouth probably needs a dentist to look at it.

HVDY I love that you make a fuss of LGs sister. So nice of you to include her and must make such a difference to the family having you involved. She sounds a lovely girl.
Glad Jaffas a bit better. Don’t know what’s wrong with my mouth but it’s so irritating. My teeth feel on edge all the time and my mouth is so dry. I suppose I should maybe ask the dentist. I really need to do something. It keeps me awake at night. Nice of your son to pop in with the slippers

Wyllow that’s a really good idea. Thank you I’ll get some.
Stunning picture. Sort of scenery I love.
Scaredycat I can’t believe your niece is still waiting. They really need to chase that appointment. Yes church was lovely this morning. Lots of chat.
Sweetpeasue glad you got it all sorted out in the end. Have a lovely time.

ScaredyCat How nice that you and your sister chat for a long time like that. It beggars belief that your niece is still waiting. Someone my brother knows has got an aortic aneurysm that needs to be operated on, and he's got to the ward on the day, only for it all to be cancelled - three times.

Just sitting here in my clean pyjamas, no make-up or bra, after having had a shower, and the back gate opened - it was Son1, with some lovely slippers for DH and me. He collected 3 parcels that arrived here in the week. He injured his shin whilst on holiday, and it's obviously infected, by the look of it. I gave him advice about it, but he's back to work tomorrow.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- glad you,ve arrived safely. DGS saved the day!!
Have the best time and relax- precious times.
HVDY- what a lovely wake up call- so glad Jaffais getting better.
Yesterday was a bit of housework,changing the bed and then we had a walk and coffee out. This morning DH was golfing so I did some cleaning then chatted to my Sister for a couple of hours. Would you believe my niece is still waiting. She has phoned many times and contacted Pals who gave her a case number. They just haven’t got enough oomph to really go for it.
Ellie Anne- hope the Birthday celebrations are going OK.
Doodle- walking by a river is lovely. There’s always something going on and wildlife if you’re lucky.
Good idea to visit the dentist before a bigger problem crops up.
I like peppermint Tic Tacs if my mouth is dry.
Hope it was a nice service this morning.
Wyllow- so pleased you enjoyed your day out in the hills. The weather was more comfortable I expect. That’s a lovely view - so many beautiful vistas there aren’t
It’s always good to see the goodies Van after a walk isn’t it.
A nice day altogether by the sound of it.
Nanny2507 - hope the sale is going smoothly.

Love to all

Wyllow3 affa's feeling better, eating a lot, but still very snotty and snuffly. He woke me gently (tapping my shoulder and licking my arm) at 6.30 today. The view there is spectacular, isn't it? All that greenery is beautiful.

Well of course you gave into Jaffa, HVDY. Is he better now? Or at least, weller?

Great to hear from you Sweetpeasue. So glad DGS sorted the wi-fi - I’d go spare on holiday without it! Not just contact with those I usually do, but also looking up bits and bobs locally.
I hope you both are as well as for the holiday and it goes well with family.

Oh dear….get thee to a dentist Doodle, it sounds very uncomfy and unusual. May I recommend for comfort this brand of light chewing gum - it has no sugar, no nasties whatsoever and is on Amazon and got quickly. Meds give me a dry mouth and it helps.

Just enter into the Amazon search box
“PUR Gum | Sugar Free Chewing Gum | Made with Xylitol | Vegan, Aspartame Free, Gluten Free & Keto Friendly | Natural Spearmint Flavoured Gum, 55 Pieces (Pack of 3)

I’m glad today was another hospice day.

Today was actually lovely. Just got into the car park: perfect weather (long sleeve blouse, sun in and out, everyone happy “perfect weather” “ thank goodness it’s cooler”.

The coffee van was in the car park for after, v good stuff -little trip to Sainsbugs to get meals and outside eating, then I had a nice sleep. Just the ticket.

Pic is one of the views - yes Doodle I am very lucky - this was a 15-20 min drive from home.

SweetpeaSue All the passwords needed for things are a pain, aren't they? Glad your grandson got it sorted out. Hope you've had a nice day.

Doodle . I see what you mean. Odd that your mouth keeps feeling dry like that. The roof of my mouth gets like it (I blame the bladder pills I take). Glad you've had a nice day with friends. Jaffa's still snotty and making a snoring/wheezy sound, but he's getting better, thanks.

Called round to Son2's, took a congratulations card, chocolates and flowers for LG's sister. Chatted with them all. DH and I had a late lunch at a pub that's had a total refurbishment. It was very nice. Not much else. Hope ALL BDers have a good rest tonight x

Wyllow some of you have lovely places to walk. I can walk by the river and that’s nice but there’s not much open countryside close by. Indoor great park but that quite a way away. Glad you’re having a bit of a rest.
Nanny that’s so good. Will it be nearer your son and family?
Ellie Anne it’s good you enjoy what you do in the kitchen. Sometimes we just get on with people and their sex is irrelevant. Good you have someone to chat to.
HVDY it made me laugh.
“One of the GPs I saw ages ago mentioned the possibility of me being referred to a bloody pressure clinic of some sort at the hospital” it fitter in well with you saying it was a pain.
It is cooler but I still have the fan on a lot.
Yes I’ve been to the hospice today with friends for a chat which was nice.
Must go to the dentist soon. My teeth are all on edge. I seem to have a very dry mouth and no matter how much I drink it stays that way. Quite uncomfortable and annoying.
Glad Jaffas feeling better.
Glad you’re there safely Sweetpeasue have a good time.
Scaredycat have you got any plans for this weekend.?

Arrived here OK with no problem.
We couldn't get WI-Fi on so when DGS arrived he put in the right password - we used the wrong one!

Read your .messages. Will try and get back later.
Everything going well.
Love to all.xx