I tend to agree with Annalisa about setting firm limits. When I had my children I made a conscious decision to never ask my parents to act as Childminders. Rather, let them ask when they wanted to spend time with my children.
In the end, I chose to have my children, and they were very much my responsibility, not my parents. Besides, I didn't decide to have children in order for other people to spend more time with them than me.
In addition, I didn't always see eye to eye with many of my parents child-rearing/caring views. I therefore preferred not to let them have undue influence on my children. It was acceptable in small doses, but not on a long-term or permanent basis.
In turn, I feel that my children have made their own decisions to start families and must take responsibility for them as I did with them. Whilst I am happy to be there in the background and as an emergency back-up, I don't want to get stuck with the school runs and commitment of young children. I have my own busy life which I've had to fit (very willingly and uncomplainingly) around my children for the last 20 odd years. This is my time to stop clock-watching and worrying about every little sniffle and scraped knee.
This might seem very selfish to some, but I chose to have children, I was not involved in the decision to have grandchildren. Of course they are a delight, but in small manageable doses, when it suits me. The cliche works for me "It's lovely to see them, but oh so nice to be able to hand them back again".
