Grand parents damage children during divorce

Children need, and have a right, to be with their loving grandparents, especially in times of conflict when grandparents can smooth the way and provide a safe haven for their beloved grandchildren. I don't like the way this is being reported in the media - a nasty slant is being put on it, and doesn't reflect that fathers will still make access agreements with their ex's and be given rights of access by courts.

Agree Carol the reporting is very slanted. And yayaq, my DD and her partner split up over a year ago when GD was 4 and GS eighteen months. We became even more involved than usual with the care olf the children and with helping my daughter through a very traumatic and uncertain period. We helped her keep her head above water,helped move and generally were a calm and loving influence over this time, which only got on an even keel this summer. I can't stress enough how important we as Grandparents can be as a steadying influence in our grandchildren's lives, and once again where this information and use of statistics come from.

I too have supported my DD through a divorce. She and her then two year old (now 6yr old) moved in with us when they split up, so we could help with child care and ensure a constant care situation rather than him going from pillar to post. We have always been welcoming to her ex, who comes to our house regularly to put the child to bed and play with him, but I must confess to struggling with being civil at all times, and not slagging him off!!! I can imagine that if ones morals were not so high it would be very easy to become difficult and obstructive towards the ex and their family, and also to become very negative to the child towards them. If I am honest I frequently have to bite my tongue and smile sweetly, but I can imagine that this may not always happen with some families. I just hope that this attitude is reciprocated and "the other side" do the same. I expect we will find out as he grows up and tells us more. I have my suspicions with one member of the "other" family though........

The 'media' never ceases to amaze me. What next?

In my view grandparents provide stability in an unstable situation. We also provide a place where both parents can come with the children and enjoy a meal as a family from time to time. The little ones like to see their parents together and to know that they are loved and wanted by us all. We all made sure that the children knew that the break up was not caused by anything they'd done and they had somewhere to go for some peace and 'normality' whilst things got sorted out. Being a GP is a very important relationship. I do appreciate though that inevitably, in certain circumstances, GPs may take sides but one has to put ones own feelings aside for the sake of the children however difficult that might be.

Think about it. Are we ever likely to see a headline that says "Most grandparents are kind and understanding during divorce and provide unquestioning loving care for their grandchildren" – even if headlines were that long?

The DT and other papers are very good at producing headlines that don't bear much relationship to what is in the text or what was actually said in reports they are quoting from. Unfortunately the headline is what other media commentators pick up on and exagerate.
I blame reporters being in too much of a hurry to think and having too many deadlines to meet. They also know if headlines incense people, they will respond so the article gets noticed & papers sell.

Quite agree with you yayaq,some fool of a do gooda spreading rubbish.

best way to sell a newspaper? insult someone, it's still the fastest way to get the common person to put his hand in his pocket and buy the paper, get thier temper up and they will just have to buy it to see what else it says

best way to treat a story like this..... with the contempt it deserves

Who would buy the dm though? What a load of rubbish.