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Standing up when parents / teachers walk in?

(44 Posts)
bagitha Sat 21-Apr-12 09:12:22

I'm happy to shake hands with people. I'm equally happy with an airy Hi! The important thing is that one is greeted in a positive, polite way. If someone says Hi! to you while looking into your eyes and smiling with welcome (or introductory trepidation, even), they are being polite. Why would I want to complain about that? I think we need to tolerate different people's ways of being polite and friendly. Being sticklers for rigid rules is narrow minded and missing the point — the point being to communicate one's acceptance of the other person into one's 'orbit' for whatever reason.

mollie65 Sat 21-Apr-12 09:00:17

just to add the old custom of standing when introduced to someone (assuming you were sitting of course) seems to have gone along with shaking hands on first meeting (not air kissing on first introduction). I still tend to stand (even if it takes me a while to get out of the chair) and shake hands on introduction but notice that an airy 'hello' or 'hi' while remaining seated seems to be more the trend.

bagitha Sat 21-Apr-12 08:33:56

Has the decline in manners that is spoken of happened because the people who are parents now were not taught properly by their parents? Or is it one of those vague malaises of "society". Society? What's that? I thought it was US. So it's our fault if good manners are in decline, not someone else's.

That said, I can't say I've noticed the decline myself. People seem as polite, in general terms, as they have always been. And as rude. And as indifferent.

Fashions in manners change, but the nature of politeness and consideratioon for others doesn't.

vampirequeen Sat 21-Apr-12 08:25:34

I remember standing when the headteacher came into the room but not for other teachers. Unfortunately manners need to be taught at home and all to often they're not, so no matter what the school does it's all undermined by parents and carers. Children used to start school with the basics. Now we have to encourage them to say please and thank you. But then many parents are abdicating what we classed as our duty to teach our children. I've had children start school unable to take off/put on own coat, use a knife and fork, sit at a table to eat or worst of all in my opinion...use a toilet. In the past a school was allowed to refuse a child a place until they were toilet trained unless the child had a special need. That changed a few years ago. I isn't unheard of for children to not only start nursery but actually main school still wearing nappies.

Sorry off on a tangent lol. My point is that manners are dying out because a lot of parents don't have good manners and don't pass them on to their children.

Gally Sat 21-Apr-12 07:57:40

Yes I remember standing each time the teacher entered and we greeted him/her by name. It's all about respect. The boys raised their caps, we all held the door open for each other, we stood aside to let a teacher or adult past. My children did the same and it's done them no harm. Bring back manners and respect - it would go a long way to repair what's wrong in this country of ours......

goldengirl Sat 21-Apr-12 07:35:09

I remember in the days when I went to church that we used to stand for the Creed but kneel for other prayers. I'm still not sure why.

As an adjunct to this topic, if you're female, do you like men standing up when you come into the room and when you leave - or has that more or less died out now? And if you're male, do you feel you should stand when a woman comes in / leaves?

Greatnan Sat 21-Apr-12 07:06:50

We had to stand at the start of every lesson anyway, to say the Hail Mary - I still remember it in French and Latin.
We only left our classrooms for specialist subjects - gym, art, cookery, needlework, science and geography. We had our own desks - no heaving heavy bags of book around the school. It must be quite bewildering for children moving from primary schools where they had their own base to a big secondary school which might even be on more than one site.
How easy the teachers at my convent grammar school had it - no discipline problems, no after-school clubs- I left in 1956 and by the time I started teaching in 1971 things were very different. They are even harder now - I have enormous respect for teachers today and get very annoyed on their behalf for the continuous flak they receive. Most people are still somewhat in awe of their doctor, but almost everyone has been to school, and those who had bad experiences often pass on their hostility to their children.

Ariadne Sat 21-Apr-12 07:00:50

JessM bagitha you are right. Pupils don't enter unless the teacher is in the room. (usually because the room is locked)

All English lessons in my last school began with silent reading, so the mantra was "In, sit, quiet, read." And mostly, they did. Lovely peaceful start to a lesson.

bagitha Sat 21-Apr-12 06:37:09

If one stops to think about why schoolkids were made to stand up when the teacher entered the room for a lesson, it makes sense. It's a way of stopping all the chat and playing and focussing attention on the teacher for the lesson. It is not about "repsect" except in so far as it is a device for grabbing attention and saying: Stop mucking around; time to concentrate" without uttering a word. It is, if you like, a punctuation.

Nowadays, as jess says, the punctuation is different because teachers stay put and kids move from room to room. Nowadays the punctuation is having to wait until the teacher is ready to let the kids enter her territory. The inherent implication is "my territory, my rules, pay attention".

Anagram Fri 20-Apr-12 23:04:51

That's the line they went with on the Jeremy Vine programme on Radio 2 today. I must admit times and schools have changed since my/our day.

JessM Fri 20-Apr-12 22:58:53

Parallel universe dave, parallel universe. In secondary schools mostly the teachers have their own base and the kids queue up outside their rooms.
I can't imagine learning would benefit if, in the middle of a lesson, another teacher walks in and everyone stands up and then has to be re-settled. Another pitch for a headline in the DM. Pathetic.

Anagram Fri 20-Apr-12 22:28:49

granbunny, how can you have a one word story? I am curious.

Annika Fri 20-Apr-12 22:25:42

Yes I remember that we had to stand up, but I think it was only if the headmistress came into the room and we then had to say ... "Good morning/ afternoom Mrs Hamilton "

jeni Fri 20-Apr-12 21:55:46

Teachers! Yes! I remember that! The only time I stood for a parent was when I attended a coroners inquest, when my father was the coroner!
It was-- all stand for her majesties coroner!
So I did.
I told him, that was not going to be a normal occurrence! He agreed!
(and so did my mothersmile

granbunny Fri 20-Apr-12 21:51:14

i've worked in schools where pupils stand when an adult enters the room. very pleasant and respectful. sometimes it disrupts work, if they have to stand for every adult who enters.

i've had a lot of fun with registers. one of my groups used to answer with different things daily - a french word, the name of a car, a country, the foulest language they knew, a film star, another teacher's name, a one word story...

Anagram Fri 20-Apr-12 21:48:37

I know we had to stand up at Grammar School if the Headmistress came into the room - I can hear the scrape of chair legs now! Don't remember whether it applied to other teachers though.

But standing up when a parent enters the room!! grin How ridiculous would that be when Mum's in and out of the kitchen where the kids are doing their homework?

Ariadne Fri 20-Apr-12 21:27:38

Me too, ga

grannyactivist Fri 20-Apr-12 21:20:44

Pupils in my class always stood up to greet me at the beginning of the lesson and said "good morning/afternoon" as appropriate. When taking the register I always greeted each child with an individual "good morning/afternoon" as I said their name. I liked that it got the lesson off on the right foot. (No pun intended.)

goldengirl Fri 20-Apr-12 21:03:10

Front page of the DT today has David Cameron suggesting that children should stand up when parents or teachers walk into the room. I think children should stand when parents come into a room [that's really dark ages stuff] but I can't help thinking that it wouldn't hurt if they did it for their teachers. We used to at our school and I still tend to do it when I meet a person older than I am - though that is getting rarer these days! Do you think it's a good idea?