I believe most abused children do not grow up to be abusers. Many people who have had dreadful childhoods become happy and successful adults.
Leslie Thomas was a Barnardo's child.
I am told that my father's coldness and detachment have had a bad effect on me, making me very critical of men. However, I have five grandsons, a son-in-law and several prospective grandsons-in-law that I love dearly. I think it is men that makes me critical of men!
I cannot blame any of my mistakes or personality defects on my childhood - except perhaps that my mother did not tell me that my husband was a total bore and I should not marry him! Unfortunately, I always gave the impression of being totally in charge of my life, even at 18, and I think she (and my sister) were reluctant to interfere. They only told me what they really thought of him when I decided to leave him after 20 years.