Rolf Harris

Thanks Hunt, brave post. Those of us who have worked with sexual abuse may also have personal experience, which we choose not to share on a public forum. To dismiss us as not really understanding just isn't on.

An uncle took my sister and I for a walk in Epping Forest. He pulled me behind a bush and flung his arms around me and tried to kiss me. I managed to shove him away and we walked home , my sister worrying because I lagged so far behind and she thought I would get lost. When we got home I told my Mother; she laughed and said,'' Well, he's your uncle isn't he!'' And that was that. Perhaps people did speak up about Rolf Harris and got a similar answer.

When offering views and opinions on such a sensitive subject as the sexual abuse of children and young people, great care needs to be taken. It's an emotive subject, and can arouse strong feelings, particularly for anyone reading it who has experienced sexual abuse.

You are quite right Jingle - No one on here can fully know the life experiences of others. Being respectful of other's viewpoints is important.

Different viewpoints should be acknowledged without the brickbats as you say, Jingle.

Denying that harm has been done, or running down the victims of sexual abuse who have the courage to come forward, no matter what their motivation, is cruel. No child asks to be abused, and no woman who could escape a sexual attack will stay to let it happen again and again if she felt she could stop it. Even today, some women are powerless to get away from abuse. The hold that many sex offenders have over the people they harm is unbelievable to those of us who are assertive and know how to get help.

No one on these forums know about others' past experiences. That's why threads should n't deteriorate into brickbat throwing when someone else posts a different viewpoint.

Tegan have it your way. I really don't care for Gransnet any more.

I think there's a differece between the experiences most of us have had of 'dirty old men' and the knowledge that several people on here have that comes from working in child protection [most of which they aren't allowed to talk about].

How exactly Lona do you know how much I know about this?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Atqui is right to be blunt.Any doubt annie, just ask yourself: Does my OH stick his hand in little girls' knickers?Does my son thrust his tongue down the throat of young girls? The answer is, hopefully NO, NO, NO

That's the point jings some of them do know it all, or certainly a damn sight more than you do!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adult women come in all types and sizes of emotional strength - and the circumstances in which they are abused vary enormously. However, one theme is that someone with power/ good standing ( Mishaps example)/fame will be much less likely to be reported and they exploit that. But hey oh sisters, just get out of the way of abuse and all will be well.

We certainly dont know the gruesome details that the jury had to listen to, and for that I am thankful. I find it unbelievable that some posters on this forum would find it acceptable if someone abused their 7 year old granddaughter, or their troubled teenager, or is it ok if it is someone else's grandchild or daughter?

I find it amazing that so many women of our generation are making excuses for people like Rolf Harris by saying it was a different culture then , and women just put up with groping. I'm sure that if anyone's young granddaughter came home and told them where a disgusting creep had inserted his fingers, they might think differently. I'm not going to apologise for being blunt.

Have you been marked for life *Mishap?

Adult women, those who are not the vulnerable on psych hospital wards can, and should, get themselves out of the way of abuse. Not go back for more as some seem to do. But I have not been following it as closely as some of you obviously have.

It's been reported today that Rolf Harris was shown round one of the special hospitals by Jimmy Savile. A woman in her 60s has come forward with specific details, and mentions that they both appeared on a ward just as girls were being undressed. This link to JS is sickening.

Mark Williams-Thomas spoke eloquently on This Morning earlier today. His patient explanation of the various reasons for victims of abuse holding back from complaining until they are much older, or see a risk of another person being abused, made me feel ashamed of living in a society where the vulnerable and powerless are not listened to or believed, then when they do manage to say enough to demonstrate that charges can be brought, they are criticised and made to feel they are responsible, not the perpetrator who harmed them. Some sexual attacks contain cruel and embarrassing acts which victims will hold back from disclosing, they are so traumatised and humiliated by what was done to them.

To hear accusations of compo claiming or jumping on the bandwagon is so far off the mark, those criticisers would be horrified if they saw evidence of what actually happened. I hope they never have to - a common comment from people who do learn what happened is 'once you know, you can't unknow.' An eminent professor who has led the field in this line of work, and with psychopaths - Herschel Prinz - advises that we 'imagine the unimaginable.' Tragically, too many sex offenders commit unimaginable acts on children.

A consultant gastroenterologist once fondled my breasts whilst examining my abdomen. I said nothing. There was no chaperone; no-one would have believed me. He was a respected specialist at a renowned teaching hospital. I fully understand why some people find it hard to speak out.

It wasn't just celebrities who could get away with it. We had a teacher at our school who would try to grope the girls. This was known amongst us and we would avoid being alone with him. As far as I am aware it was never reported but at the time we didn't know who we could report it to and whether we would be believed.

If it's difficult to report abuse by a relative or family friend, think how difficult it must be to report abuse by a much-loved celebrity. Until the Savile abuse came to light, who would have believed it of Rolf Harris of whom the adjective 'avuncular' has frequently been used. But then, how much intra-family abuse has been committed by uncles? Surely now the credibility gap is being quickly closed.

I find the criticism of adult women who didn't speak out early enough and now have the nerve to feel financial compensation for the years of mental health problems precipitated by sexual abuse sickening.

There is so much research evidence about why it's so difficult to speak out about abuse experiences, particularly those involving sexual abuse. My work was similar to whenim64's. I live close to the areas in which I worked, and occasionally bump into the now 40 plus year old adults I knew as children who'd experienced sexual abuse. I'll be focussed on shopping, for example, hear my name, and find myself hugged by some woman (occasionally a man) who will have a question they've been waiting to ask someone. I'm going out to avoid feeling upset on their behalf, by the few comments on this thread that demonstrate a lack of empathy as well as a lack of understanding.

Jingle - I didn't come up on the down train

And why should there not be compensation paid? He has amassed millions - on the back of a completely false persona. Let those who suffered ( and will have to prove it) have at least some money out of it all. I get a bit tired of complaints about 'the compensation culture'. Of course it was so much better in the old days when the victim ( of all kinds) had no access to any form of compensation. Just because the media publicise ( usually without the full or even correct facts) compensation stories doesn't mean we shouldn't accept the basic principle

Can you be sure he did n't simply need her hand to hold when actually going into the court grannytwice? Why always think the worst in any situation?

I agree grannytwice.

And just because a victim fails to live up to sainthood, does not mean that she is not a victim.

The jury would not have convicted unless they had been convinced that he truly was guilty. He deserves a stiff custodial sentence, regardless of his age.

Yes Elegran, the seven or eight year old victim is the totally unforgivable part of the whole thing. That and the ones in Broadmoor hospital.

I do wonder why some of the older victims did n't speak out louder at the time. And why some of them did n't get themselves away from him.

I also wonder how soon the subject of compensation will arise.