11 yr old boy in Shades of Grey outfit

Is that all you're worried about? . No thought at all about the boy left out of the day's activities?

I doubt if anyone would have bothered.

And what about the furore if the school had done nothing?
Someone would have informed the media and it's not difficult to imagine the headlines.

If I was a parent asked that Katek, I would simply pass it off with, "Oh, it's just a silly book a lot of grown ups read" and leave it at that.

I doubt if anyone outside his class would have noticed A storm in a teacup. The school's reaction has probably done more harm than if they had just said nothing. (Perhaps take away whatever it was he had in his pocket. Quietly) Badly mishandled.

So what happens when he starts asking questions about the character he's dressed up as and why it's caused a furore in school? What happens when other, younger children start asking the same questions ...... " Mum, why is so and so dressed like a man? What character is he? What book is he from?"

Inappropriate to say the least.

A joke in very poor taste. If the mother cannot see that going as Christian Grey is an inappropriate character for an 11 year old boy to dress up as I can only suggest that she is a rather silly woman. However the school suggesting he change it to being James Bond is no better. The child is not likely to have read any James Bond books either. Nor, as others have pointed out, is James Bond any more appropriate than Christian Grey

In her interview she said the School didn't expressly say the costume had to be of a character from a book the child had read. I find it difficult to understand the mindset of a mother who would want to suggest their child dress-up as a character of an adult book the child cannot possibly have read and is in doubtful taste.

I am not all that keen on the gimmicky dressing up for world book day anyway.

One you get to secondary schools I am not sure dressing up is their thing - and you get into a minefield (as we have seen) of what books are appropriate/allowable.

Better just to get on with the reading, and inspiring children with good books. I know my DD spent ages trying to get outfits ready when she might have been better off reading a book with the children.

Actually I don't care whether he understood irony or was being tongue in cheek- that's not the point. Neither is it really the point about which is worse JB or CG. There is much that is better. Now I know his mother is a teacher, I think even less of her. She should be supporting her colleagues not undermining them and making their job more difficult. And what sort of mother drags her 11 year old around TV studios and plasters him all over the papers when it's all about perverted relationships? My thinking is not muddled at all and neither is much I have read - and great threads on MN also

It's difficult to judge whether this boy would understand irony or see it as a "tongue in cheek" exercise. He may possibly be quite forward in his thinking - who's to know.

I would have expected a parent to have tried to dissuade her son from doing this but, as the media reaction to this film demonstrated, the objectification and subjugation of women appears to be seen as rather amusing. I don't suppose teachers are any more immune to media influence than anyone else.

All I'm saying is that I think there's an awful lot of muddled thinking in this particular case. Why is James Bond - a murdering psychopath who treats women as if their sole purpose in life is his amusement - an any more worthy character to portray?

There is a huge difference between what a parent says and does within in a home setting and what is 'out there' in the general society and media.

As we grow up our parents thoughts, attitudes and rational make a huge difference in how we learn to value and judge the world.
I am not saying that we grow up to accept what our parents say is correct or even vaguely valid but their values to affect us. We might eventually reject everything our parents have ever valued but that in itself is a reflection on how we were brought up.

I do feel that it is a parents job to make valued judgements on what is 'normalised' within the home. Thus its perfectly acceptable, in my view, to discuss elements of sexuality with children as they grow and develop. I was always guided by what they asked about, always answering, as directly as I could, the immediate question. I did not however, expand upon a subject if it was not part of the initial enquiry.
We discussed much at home but I would never have agreed to my child going to school dressed as a character from an 'adult' book. I do not see that as hypocrisy. The books were of little literary merit, they normalise a sexual preference that has little to do with stable family relationships or loving adolescent relationships. There is not even the 'tongue in cheek' humour of a Roger Moore type James Bond Character to redeem it. (Ian Fleming might not be to everyone's taste but he is a far better author and few teenage boys see James Bond as anything other than an action hero in a fast car and smart suit).

I'm with the school on this - they had a duty of care to the other children and their parents.

Behind all of this is the assumoption that an 11 year old boy would have the remotest idea what sado-masochism is. I sincerely hope that he doesn't.

It is unacceptable for him to depict this book for world book day, and I would have serious concerns about a child of mine being in that mother's primary school class if she is unable to understand what is and is not appropriate for a child of that age.

There is nothing tongue in cheek about the idea of a young boy knowing what the book is about. It is an adult joke and her son is being manipulated into making HER joke - it has nothing to do with what is best for the boy. It feels exploitative and decidedly unpleasant to me.

It has been suggested that he knows nothing about the book's content - that being the case what is the point of him dressing up as this character, when the idea was for children to depict a favourite book character and to encourage their love of reading?

Now that is starting to sound pathetic.

Well goodness me- bringing one's own personal experience onto a forum? What on earth is the world coming to? The next thing you know, 11 year old boys will be dressing up as abusers of women for a laugh!

"Can someone please explain to me how encouraging your son to dress up as an abuser of women..."

Do you really think that was in the boy's mind? He wouldn't have had any idea of stuff like that being in the book. (see my previous posts. sigh) Or don't if you can't be arsed.

Why do people always have to bring their own personal experiences onto threads on GN? Can't we do without the navel gazing?

Yes aggie. I didn't like the mask and cable ties. A nice idea and a good way to highlight the state of a lot of today's current "literature", but I would have done it better.

I hope we were both addressing the same hypocrisy?

I really don't think this was sexualising the boy. As I said, I doubt if he knows much about the book really.

My hypocrisy comments were not aimed at your post Soutra

Eleo - irony at 11? Far more likely that he was encouraged by his mother - and is she really a primary school teacher- to cock a snook at the school and World Book Day.

Also enough of this hypocrisy, many many of us have criticised this 'book' from day 1 and so are perfectly entitled to criticise this mother. And well said Tricia since when does everybody's talking about it, giggling about it etc make something ok. On another thread there is a discussion of the way 'our girls' are treated. Can someone please explain to me how encouraging your son to dress up as an abuser of women helps him to grow up to respect females and their rights not to be abused?

Am I alone in feeling there is (still) more than a bit of hypocrisy if not here but in general?
Look at this from another side; pre-pubescent girl turns up at school in "kinky" gear/ basque, stocking, suspenders , handcuffs, whips , the lot(there is bound to be a book somewhere to vindicate the choice. Right, and what is your reaction? Let's look at 50 Shades and what it represents from the point of view of women and not "lads will be lads".

I haven't read the book or seen the film - I couldn't face it having had some similar personal experience in the distant past - fought back.
Jings - just because almost the whole world has been giggling over it doesn't make it right. Many boys and girls are being sexualised by their parents far too early.

Instead of the mask and cable ties ?

Or some chocolate body paint.

I think the mother could have made it a bit funnier. I would have sent him with a feather duster (tickling stick) some pink fluffy handcuffs and perhaps even a Mars bar.