Gullible or stupid

I used to be a regular user of internet dating sites. I was looking for my Mr Right but I didn't do it with my eyes closed. The sites make it quite clear that there are fraudsters and warn you not to send money to anyone. It seems that woman tend to fall for the sob story whereas men tend to send money for airfares so the woman can come to the UK.

You'd take precautions to keep yourself safe if you were meeting someone in real life and the same care is needed in the virtual world. You have to be aware that it's even easier for a fraudster to hide who they are.

I know this is harsh but I find it difficult to understand how people allow themselves to be fleeced. If you met someone in the real world and within a couple of weeks they were asking for a loan wouldn't alarm bells ring? Well the same holds for the virtual world. Internet dating is fun but you have to be aware that the person you're talking to may not be all they seem. Usually you find out they're married and looking for a bit on the side but occasionally it's more sinister.

I think all of us at times have to face up to the fact that something we have done is stupid. I will quite happily admit that at times I have done some pretty stupid things, and used the word to justly describe my own actions. I therefore have no compunction in describing the actions of other people as stupid when they are. And, as VQ has pointed out if someone is easily led and too trusting, then gullible is the word for them.

Of course I would never say to directly to someone who was in distress after acting in a gullible and stupid way that that is what they were, but the best way for them not to end up in that situation again is to face up to the fact that they were both and work out a way of not behaving like that again.

The Collins Online Dictionary says:

'If you describe someone as gullible, you mean they are easily tricked because they are too trusting'

'If you say that someone or something is stupid, you mean that they show a lack of good judgement or intelligence and they are not at all sensible.'

The lady in the newspaper article trusted to easily and/or didn't show good judgement.

Why is that unkind?

I guess we all want to see the best in people and for some these scammers are very plausible, they just get drawn in and strung along.

I'd hope I have enough gumption to be cautious but if someone is desperate for love then caution goes out the window.

I think it's very unkind to describe people who are taken in by these crooks as "gullible" or "stupid" . They must feel awful enough, especially knowing that many will rush to judge their actions. Perhaps if somebody wants something desperately enough, they become a little irrational but then human beings aren't necessarily that rational are they.

That's very sad, sunseeker.

soontobe that strikes me as a very reasonable thought process that is generally true in cases where the person concerned has to make rational decisions in given circumstances. It is only unreasonable when the person has no control of the event car, coach and plane crashes, illnesses etc.

This happened to my nephews mother in law twice!! She eventually had to sell her house and downsize in order to pay off the loans she had taken out to send money to these people. Her daughter tried everything to stop her but she wouldn't listen. Her daughter believes its only a matter of time before it happens again. She is a very outgoing woman with many friends and an active social life, however, she is desperate to have a man in her life.

It is like the, mostly, men who fall for the cold caller who encourages them to invest in a company they have never heard of because they are promised a huge capital gain in a short period.

Most of them are intelligent men who have bought and sold shares before and know what they are doing (the fraudsters get their details from shareholder lists) and yet they get seduced by get-rich-quick schemes that a moment's thought should tell them are dodgy.

It's amazing how loneliness and a desperation for love can make people both gullible and stupid. I mean, it isn't even as if this lady wouldn't have heard of cases such as this before - they have been well documented. Incredibly stupid of her.

Some people think that certain things happen to other people, but it wont happen to them.

These kind of stories pop up every now and then, and I think they are rather sad, there must be so many more who do not feel strong enough to admit they have been duped and defrauded. VQ you were lucky to spot what was going on. I did see an investigative programme on TV about these scammers and fraudsters and the majority of them work in offices, like call centres, in West Africa, primarily Nigeria which seems to be the centre of what is an industry. People work there way up the ladder, just like a legal business. I was told by an ex work colleague who worked in banking in London, that her bank, like many, would not open accounts for people from Nigeria due to the exceedingly high incidence of fraud, seems a bit unfair on those honest people from Nigeria!

But the majority of sad and lonely people do not fall for these scams, what is it about those who do?

People are lonely.
Some of them will pay £000s in the hope that they will be loved.

I cant decide whether you were brave or silly to do what you did
Glad you reported him, but perhaps he needed to be reported sooner?

Both.