Is it offensive to tell a woman that she looks nice?

Why shouldn't she include her photo, if it's a normal thing to do on LinkedIn? I expect people want to give the impression of looking business-like etc.
I wonder if men on there are often troubled by unlooked-for sleaze?

It's a fine line between being charming and being sleazy

Some men don't know where the line is.

Icyalittle - perhaps it's because of the self-absorbed culture these days. Post a selfie? It's just asking for trouble.

Ps I should have added that I think he was completely stupid!!

Hope his wife is giving him a bollocking hard time

She doesn't sound very clever, despite the fact she is supposedly doing a PhD.

Whatever happened to the sharp retort eg 'I'm glad you think it's a stunning photograph - I can let you have the name of the photographer, perhaps she/he could make
even you look good'

Just why did she put her photograph on her LinkedIn profile? There are huge numbers of people on there who don't do so (me included).

Story in the DM. He remarked on FB that his own daughter was hot!!!!

The fact that he prefaced it with "I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but..." is telling IMO.

Would he have said that to a male solicitor on the same site? Likely not. Yes, it was offensive. It was not necessary, and I think she was right to say something.

If it's not a big deal, only a harmless compliment, why should anyone be concerned about the man being outed?
There would be no repercussions on his family or career because he did nothing wrong, in that case.

"Charlotte, delighted to connect, I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture!!!
You definitely win the prize for the best Linked in picture I have ever seen.
Always interest to understant people's skills and how we might work together."

To reply in that way to someone sending a CV is completely inappropriate. He was obviously not complimenting just the photograph and its presentation, as he now claims.
Possibly Charlotte Proud has had previous "compliments" of that type and had had enough.
This guy is over twice her age, and is in a senior position in his profession. He is misusing a professional situation to try it on with a young woman.
He deserved to be outed.

but why should she be the only one to be affected by his inappropriate behaviour
is an interesting question.

Is she seeking fame?
Next stop, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.

Let's look at this situation off-line. She sends her CV to a person within a firm who may have work for her. As is often the case, these days, her photo is on it. He replies with comments about her photo. Yes she can ignore it and never contact him again but this may, in itself, cut her off from some jobs. She could, as she has done, made the point that this is unacceptable from someone in a position to influence her future employment. I imagine she knew she could have problems doing this but why should she be the only one to be affected by his inappropriate behaviour. If anyone should be thinking about the repercussions on his family surely it should be him. He is an intelligent, well educated man and he knows the law and the influences of the law. He is a fool and an unacceptable fool.

As for how you would advise your daughter, as I have said my sons is on LinkedIn. If I suddenly became aware that he had replied to someone, who had contacted him because he had the power to help work-wise (as they might well do) in the way this man had done, I would be mortified by his view of women in the workplace, his view of his marriage, and many other things besides, and he would deserve all the opprobrium that came his way.

When she gets to my age she will be glad of a compliment !!! Goodness me - what a pompous young miss. Seems to me people like her are looking for something to air their misguided politically correct views. She had obviously taken great pains to make sure her photo was attractive enough to encourage comment. Why can't people just laugh nowadays. Where has all this sensitivity come from. I hope he gets lots of new clients out of this.

I agree with Bellanonna and POGS on this, it wasn't the right forum for compliments, but a private comment, or ignoring it would have been better.

To my mind they are both at fault!

He is intelligent enough to know how others have found themselves hung drawn and quartered by a kangaroo court/jury and he also knew that his words were subject to be being offensive to the recipient hence he stated "I appreciate this is possibly horrendously politically incorrect". Well fool, listen to yourself and zip it.

She is intelligent enough to know how others have found themselves hung drawn and quartered by a kangaroo court/jury and she knew by putting this message into the public domain she had the intention of doing him harm.

On a personal note I would not have behaved as she has as I would consider the repercussion to his family if he has one. I would consider it a personal matter and certainly not put it into the public domain. Why do that unless you have a strong desire to publicly humiliate him and I consider that to be a reason to dislike both of their behaviour.

I agree that she could be in a lose lose situation.

I was trying to think what I would have advised my daughter to do.

To be fair, it seems that she approached him in the first instance on LinkedIn, not the other way round.

I think I would have advised DD to not reply to his remarks. And to try and steer clear of him professionally if that was possible.

It is not about taking offense henetha; it is about the misuse of power.

We seem to have become a nation of people who take offence very easily.
However, I do realise that I have no knowledge of the etiquette required on LinkedIn or any social media sites.
But it still seems to me to be a fuss about nothing, as so often these days.

But it wouldn't Indinana. This man was capable of thinking it was OK to say this and that shows at least how foolish he is but the legal profession is notorious for its sexism and it is used as a power against women. He is in a position to do severe damage to her career - he may not, but keeping it private would not necessarily protect her.

To me it smacks of the position of those - particularly women - employed in big houses in the past. If you complain it's your fault, if you don't it's your fault. You would hope that an older and one would hope more knowledgeable person when it comes to workplace relationships would understand how to behave appropriately in a workplace situation. As he has shown this is not the case she could really have not reliance on him accepting "a small private put down" and not wrecking her career. I feel she was in a loose, loose situation created by his inappropriate behaviour.

Mountains and molehills. Yes, it was the wrong site for a " compliment" but IMO she overreacted, and in any case could have dealt with it privately.

It may well have been inappropriate given the fact that Linkedin is a business website, but there was really no need for her to so publicly object to it. A simple private put down would have sufficed - and someone of her education and profession surely wouldn't have difficulty in phrasing a clever remark that would put an end to it without attracting any vitriol should he decide to go public with it.

Totally agree with ninathenana.

The point is with this particular instance, that it is LinkedIn.
LinkedIn, is for professional people to network in a business way. It is part cv, part head hunt, that sort of thing.

I'm (almost ) speechless .
Women must have run out of real things to be offended about.
Surely there are other ways of advertising that don't involve the internet?

LinkedIn should not be lumped in with FB

Totally right ninathenana. It seems many people are unaware of how LinkedIn works. This was someone presenting their CV - that is what this site is about. I have just looked at all the people who share the same name as my son as I know he uses LinkedIn for networking his business. He has used the company logo - appropriate because it is really about his company - others have used personal photos, some have not. In the same way some people now use photos on CVs and some do not.

This man was not paying her a compliment he was demeaning her professionalism. I cannot believe, in this day and age, that so many take this so flippantly. If the man in the picture above my son's was your son or grandson and I, from a position of great power used this site so very inappropriately and others then threatened your sons/grandsons career because he objected I think you would take it rather more seriously especially if he was then targeted and threatened by internet trolls who make the most awful threats and comments behind the anonymity of the internet.