Women's health taboos

WorthingPatchworkers and HildaW

Many years ago when I was training there was a poem about pelvic floor exercises we gave to the ladies on the gynae ward. I can only remember the last lines.

Always remember, never forget
and when you get old you won't be wet.

Wish I could remember it all. Does anyone else know it?

I also have a problem with public toilets and once saw a counsellor on the subject many years ago who could only suggest me dropping a piece of soap in the toilet to emulate the noise! Needless to say I never went back. I also have a problem weeing if there is someone in the next cubicle and often sit there waiting for them to flush or for the hand dryer to come on before it will flow. As I'm forever needing the toilet when I'm out it's a time consuming problem! I've a complete fetish about all bowel issues which is definitely psychological I know but I've coped with it for most of my life - I don't think my husband has ever known when I go! I rarely go to the doctors but I think that would be one of the subjects I couldn't discuss.

Dianneangel This old thread might be useful.
www.gransnet.com/forums/health/a1195635-Vaginal-atrophy

I have always had problems with constipation and was the only one in my family to have difficulties. The older I get the worse it seems. I really envy my peers who can set their watch by their morning poo and go on to repeat the procedure 1 or 2 times more later in the day. I eat plenty of fruit, drink plenty, don't eat a lot of starchy foods so why can't I be regular.

Difficult topics for me are diarrhoea (I have IBS) and post menapausal vaginal dryness. Nobody warned me about that so it quickly turned very sore. Only wanting to poo in your own toilet is called "safe toilet syndrome "and can lead to severe problems. hugs

No they aren't Ana but men don't seem to be so embarrassed about them (think of all the jokes about farts etc) .Isnt it ridiculous that we are so coy about bodily functions when everyone has them. Thats what public loos are for after all. Melanie Reid ( disabled with spine injury, Times journalist) wrote an article about people using disabled loos. She agreed that people witH bowel probs might need to use them in emergency but complained about 'sharing' their smells. It's normal to make a smell isn't it? But we feel we shouldn't ! I agree it's something we have inherited from our parents.

Bowel problems aren't confined to women!

Yes - the machine for making STs that this lady is using was pioneered by an Indian man, and we had a thread about him some time ago - very impressive.

I remember talking to my gran about this and she said that when she was in service she used up all her laundry allowance when she was having her period as the terry towels that she used had to be laundered.

'Women's problems' have always been stigmatised. Catch up with Woman's Hour about how women in refugee camps are having to deal with having no sanitary products. But an amazing woman has come up with a brilliant solution to it.

I have never been embarrassed about bowel opening in public loos - as someone with IBS who spent years and years with 10x a day watery crap it is just as well! - and I was not averse to stopping the car and hopping behind a hedge - needs must and all that! My children got very used to some strange journeys to school as mornings were always the worst time. Interestingly they were never embarrassed about it and used to say to their friends that they were late because Mum was crapping again! And they grew up very sympathetic and caring.

Gut has flipped in opposite direction in last few years and I use lactulose each day + occasional glycerine suppository. No senna as that tends to make my gut screw up and be painful.

As for hormone cream on the nether regions - no thank you! Tried it once and every single oestrogen sensitive cell swelled up so that I finished up sitting on something the size of a cauliflower.

I can talk about anything to anyone. Why be embarrassed ( my philosophy is ) it's all been done /happened before. If I had a problem medically I'd speak to the doctor. I can also speak of things sexually to anyone who wants that type of conversation. For example my daughter and I ( she is 33 ) had a conversation about oral sex. I like the fact I'm not seen as a prude and why should I be one ?

After I had breast cancer, I didn't worry about showing anything to anybody who had a right to see. It was disconcerting at first particularly when young attractive male doctors asked for a look and I automatically lifted my blouse. You get used to it. I don't think there's much difference talking about 'unmentionables.' I promised myself that I am never going to die because I wouldn't tell the doctor about symptoms.

I also can't think of anything that would be a taboo subject to discuss with anyone; medically that is.
This is slightly off the subject but, as a child, I can remember my Mum using the strangest names for male and female sexual body parts. When we had our own children we always used the correct terminology as does our daughter with her children .
Must look at the Vaginal Atrophy thread, sounds fascinating!

Prolapse......10 years ago at a routine smear I can remember the very brusque nurse saying something about it being 'a bit slack'....at the time I had enough on my plate to pay such a vague comment any real attention. Fast forward 8 years and I suddenly became aware of something not right 'down below' and made an appointment with jolly nice female GP who confirmed a prolapse. I coped for a while and then it all became very inconvenient and limiting so had further chat with Doctor who talked me through the alternatives.
I now manage well with a ring pessary and thankfully surgery is not needed in foreseeable future.
I just really think that if that nurse had been a bit more forthcoming at the time I would not have had months of worry (what was happening down below) and perhaps I would have just been a bit better prepared for what was to come. Evidently the original damage had been done at first birth over 30 years ago and was pretty much inevitable. This was despite me doing the usual after birth exercises - a bit of advice earlier on that such things can happen would have been helpful.

There would have been but since being diagnosed with a nasty bowel disease last year nothing is now taboo, I can freely talk about my toilet habits with anyone!

The younger generation seems to have no taboos. My senior GD (now 23) has never hesitated to discuss contraception with me. Well, she probably knows more about it now than I do.

For constipation, if fibre is no problem make porridge with 2 dessertspoons oats (good organic whole oats if poss), 2 dessertspoons oat bran, some sultanas, water and soak overnight. Cook gently on stove in morning with added milk (I add have more water instead) and it's delicious. Sometimes I add stewed apple. Realise this wouldn't be right for everyone, but I had an op to correct prolapsed pelvic floor and bowel, and was warned "now this took us a long time - don't spoil my good work" by the lovely surgeon, so eat to avoid problem.

I could talk about anything - and have with my GP, consultants and loved ones. The more we talk about "taboo" subjects the more they are likely to stop being taboo! Re constipation, fruit, vegetables and water do not always help, if you have to take painkillers, especially of the opiate family you may need extra help. Dulcoease is good, but if you are using it regularly I would advise that you see your GP, my doctor prescribes Laxido for me and it is a great help. It's an orange flavoured powder, mixed with a small glass of water and it does the trick without cramps or wind.

I echo Worthingpatchworkers comments about exercise.

Years ago one of my GPs told me a lot of the time when constipation is not controlled by diet, lack of 'active' exercise is the problem. Brisk walking, running, or an exercise class was his recommendation - something that gives your whole body a shake up. He finished by saying there was nothing like sex for curing constipation!

For constipation, try eating chocolate with a very hot cup of tea. Often works almost immediately for me.

Mental health. Sex difficulties in old age especially if associated with impotence in DH...

Am extraordinarily lucky in that I have very good health; have sorted constipation with drinking LOADS, menopause was horrible and I used to embarass everyone, but hey!

Should have said "gap at the bottom of the door"

My mum suffered dreadfully from Crohn's/Colitis and would talk about her problems to anyone willing to listen!
I did tell her off when I arrived at her house to find lots of little poo samples lined up on loo paper along the edge of the bath, that was taking it a bit far I thought!

I'm with you , indinana. For reasons too long and boring to go into, I find using public loos a trial and always resort to your strategies. I particularly hate the loos with the enormous gap at the bottom. Sometimes, I guiltily use the disabled facility, as fast as possible, because they often offer more privacy. Shouldn't complain, though, lucky to be here and don't have the awful problems with constipation I'm reading about.

The NHS have departments to deal with Bladder and Bowel issues....and...there is a national Bladder and Bowel association who also issue I formation about location of toilets and, in the past, both of these have issued little cards indicating the bearer needs to use a toilet....and can be presented In Various places. In my experience .....pelvic floor exercises go a long way to relieving bladder issues such as leakage. Exercise, even just 15 mins walking, foods containing fibre, and a good intake of water help greatly re constipation......believe me.....I have been a long time sufferer but no more.