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Should prostitution be legalised?

(220 Posts)
thatbags Tue 08-Mar-16 07:09:09

Susie Boniface (yes) versus Julie Burchill (no).

annsixty Wed 09-Mar-16 22:28:03

Paying tax or not is irrelevant to the safety of the women involved. That would be my prime concern, that they were doing it willingly and not under any coercion. The financial ramifications could be sorted out once it was regulated and made legal.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 09-Mar-16 22:30:49

I'm not sure it would be that easy!

grannyactivist Thu 10-Mar-16 01:41:45

I too have worked with prostitutes and the only thing I can say for sure is that I would not want a son or daughter of mine to become a sex worker, but if they did I would want them to be safe.
Prostitution is not going to go away, but trafficking, pimping and abusive behaviour towards the women (and males) involved needs to be tackled in some way. I think that, rather than make soliciting illegal, I would prefer to crackdown on the users and abusers.
The overwhelming majority of women I worked with had very, very few alternative life choices and were led into prostitution by men who profited from them. The sole exception I have come across is one young woman who has a 'proper' job by day and indulges her very high sex drive by working as an 'escort' at night and now relishes getting paid for doing something that she was previously doing for free.

Luckylegs9 Thu 10-Mar-16 07:01:02

Not talking about the confident savvy woman that can vet their own clients, make their own decisions, just the streetwalkers who pick up anyone for cash and have to perform vile acts on these grubby men. Would anyone in their right mind choose to do that, I can think of nothing worse. These women are so lacking in any self worth and feel there is no other way to get money or are being coerced, or feeding a habit, it is not a career choice, a lot of them have children, none if them would want their child to be doing it. I wish I had an answer. Just who are these men that profit from it? The men that use them, the woman invisible to them. They are the problem.

Iam64 Thu 10-Mar-16 09:22:55

The main consensus here seems to be the acknowledgement that prostitution has always existed and the need to keep sex workers safe.

My earlier question about why/who/when clients use sex workers remains. I don't have sons but I do have grandsons, sons in law, a husband, brothers in law and a number of men in my life with whom I feel totally safe, loved and cared for. I can't imagine any of them buying sex and I hope my grandsons never do.

The media coverage of the experiences of the girls who were groomed and used as sex slaves in Rotherham and other towns reflects the starting point for many street sex workers. That is, a history of difficult, sometimes abusive or neglectful childhoods, the excitement felt in being 'chosen' by some older man who initially gives them gifts like cigarettes, drugs and alcohol, so making them feel 'grown up'. I do see both sides of the legalisation argument but keep coming back to my anxiety at legalising = normalising. Those girls in Rotherham (and in the towns I worked in) were seen as making lifestyle choices. If prostitution was legalised, what age would we say was acceptable. 16 is the legal age to consent to sexual activity, with appropriate leeway if the young people involved are say aged 15 and 20. 18 and you can vote, drink alcohol or fight for your country. Maybe the law would be fixed at 18 - would there then be sympathy for the man who buys sex from a 15 year old who has been sexually active for a long time?

reikilady Thu 10-Mar-16 12:41:25

Are'nt married women/partners who don't work just legalised prostitutes anyway?.
That's what Ive always thought. Sleeping with a man and getting the bills paid, If a woman works she is at least having a bit of independence. Ive always worked even just part time.

Legal brothels work in other countries and it seems fine, I watched a documentary about a brothel in Bradford and they were quite open about what they did, they called themselves a massage parlour. I thought it was legal in the uk nowadays.

reikilady Thu 10-Mar-16 12:45:42

I thought non working partners in a relationship were prostitutes. If you let a man pay the bills and give him sex then it is prostitution legalised

reikilady Thu 10-Mar-16 12:47:11

sorry two posts crossed, the first one disappeared then I did the second one and then both appeared. Ok you all get my point.

annsixty Thu 10-Mar-16 12:50:10

Well I was one then * reikilady*. After my children were born ,which was quite a few years after I married,I never did a permanent job again for reasons I am not going into here.
When I fill in forms now like I did at a hospital last week, when I come to the question, what was your last job? instead of putting the boring "housewife" I can now say "prostitute". That should raise some eyebrows among the medical staff.

Marmark1 Thu 10-Mar-16 14:28:20

Good grief,I didn't work when my son was small,simply because I didn't want to, I was a very contented stay at home wife and mother, my husband didn't marry me just to have sex for christsake.Wheres your mind.
And not all men are predictors,there's good and bad in us all.Most of those poor girls have no home life.

NanaandGrampy Thu 10-Mar-16 14:41:07

I have never heard such rubbish in my life Reiki !!

You have an uncanny knack of saying the most extreme things. I'm not really sure if you truly believe that or if you like controversy . OR because you profess to prefer a single life you just want to belittle every married or attached woman out there.

I am deeply offended by your post .

DEEPLY.

The thought that my husband might view me as a prostitue during our 39 years of marriage because we have a loving relationship that includes a consensual sexual relationship is offensive. I can assure you he does not. Neither do I consider myself to be a prostitue.

I can only assume you meant to be insulting.

cookiemonster66 Thu 10-Mar-16 15:41:52

yes it should be legalised to protect both the girls, and the clients, if like in other countries girls could go get a medical certificate to say they have been tested , then these guys will not bring home anything back to their wives. The girls then also have a support network against dangerous clients, some are too scared to call the police if an incident occurs.

petra Thu 10-Mar-16 16:39:33

NanaandGrampy. Don't rise to it. As you know there are people who are bitter and twisted about other peoples happy and loving relationships.

NanaandGrampy Thu 10-Mar-16 16:48:04

I know I shouldn't Petra but how very very sad that someone seems to take delight in being so blindingly mean.

grannyactivist Thu 10-Mar-16 16:56:00

Reiki I suspect you're being deliberately provocative. hmm

A prostitute is someone who engages in sexual activity for payment. Are you reducing a marriage or committed loving relationship to simple sexual exchanges?

nigglynellie Thu 10-Mar-16 16:58:06

I was as you described Reiki for 16 years, which is when I went back to work three days a week, after children. My younger was 13 at the time and my elder 16, just old enough and responsible enough to come home and be on their own till one of us came in from work. If what you have said wasn't so preposterous, it would almost be funny! I've simply never ever heard of any husband who regarded his non working (for whatever reason) wife as a lady of easy virtue! Where on earth do you get that idea from?! Have you never heard that in marriage, love, affection partnership, trust companionship and lots more, usually play their part?! You must have had quite a sad life to have such a jaundice view of such a wonderful institution.

Ana Thu 10-Mar-16 17:00:20

ethelbags and her wooden spoon strike again! hmm

petra Thu 10-Mar-16 17:22:12

Nigglynellie. But what came first: the jaundiced view or the sad life.

Iam64 Thu 10-Mar-16 18:08:28

Yes Ana, it's ethelbags winding people up as usual. This has been such an interesting discussion, if there is anything a stirrer doesn't like, its a thread where varied views are expressed without anyone getting irritated with posters who don't share their views.

nigglynellie Thu 10-Mar-16 18:23:08

Sad life I think, but I can't be sure!! ethelbags?! Do you really think so? Not sure what to say. Poor her I suppose confused

NanaandGrampy Thu 10-Mar-16 18:32:48

I agree totally Iam64 I've enjoyed the reasoned debate right up to that point.

etheltbags1 Thu 10-Mar-16 20:48:57

How many women have said that when they denied him his rations he went elsewhere. Men cannot do without sex therefore they will go elsewhere to get it. I watched a documentary last week about a gay male sauna and one of the men said that men are different they need sex they just don't care who with.

Its an old fashioned saying that a man marries for his home comforts.

Im not winding anyone up and I have a super life. I just don't want to be smothered by living in a relationship I don't care what anyone else does. I am happy being a 'me' not a 'we'. I am free to come and go as I please which many of you are not, I don't have to drag an old man around the shops. I want no one to contradict me or tell me what to buy/wear/look like/do in bed etc etc.

etheltbags1 Thu 10-Mar-16 20:50:01

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NanaandGrampy Thu 10-Mar-16 20:52:29

i thought I heard something .......but it was just tumbleweed smile

Ana Thu 10-Mar-16 20:54:33

B;imey ethel/reiki how nasty are you? And still getting away with having two usernames...hmm