Would you renew your wedding vows like Dolly Parton?

Sometimes I think I would quite like to have a thanksgiving service. I feel particularly blessed in my marriage; my husband (The Wonderful Man) really is a very special person and as we met in church and our faith is central to our relationship it seems appropriate. Plus, it would mean a big family get together and I relish any opportunity for that.

Will I actually do anything about organising such an event? Hmm, not really sure - but probably not in the near future at least.

We have just had our 50th wedding anniversary 26/03/1966,we thought that a table at a restaurant in a town half way between all the family would make sense. No bells or whistles just our beautiful daughters and a son in law, and 3 grand daughters and our special grandson. One very special sister in law,(I will save that story for another day).Much to our surprise our daughters had bought gold balloons, Flowers and gifts. I felt so blessed , and could not wish for anything else my husband was so near to tears. Would we renew our vows ,no we made them 50 years ago and meant them.

Absolutely not. Only married for the tax breaks anyway.

I think they have the right to feel pleased with themselves as it's getting more and more unusual nowadays but they certainly shouldn't inflict it on other people. I do actually feel the same about second marriages as well though. It seems really odd to me that you can make the original vow and then a few years later say ' oh well , that didn't work so I' m going to make the same vow with someone else'. Once was enough for me, don't see the point of doing it again.

I've been married so many times that renewing my vows would mean I'd be a full-time party-goer!

No. Don't get it. Did people have their fingers crossed the first time?

We've been married 50 years. Our wedding was lovely - I couldn't top that - and anyway I'm of the opinion that the only reason to renew vows is if you haven't managed to remember and keep to the first ones. In addition, those dear, original guests aren't around any more (well, I do still have a bridesmaid), and on some level that would make it rather sad, I think.

I know someone whose husband sprang a renewal of vows ceremony on her as a surprise. She thought she was going to a nice retaurant for a meal to celebrate their 25th anniversary. Instead, family and friends, all in on the surprise, gathered at the church where they were married for a ceremony with a buffet afterwards. Can't imagine what I would say if my husband did that! ( well I can and it would not be a cry of ectasy)( The couple are now divorced!)
A thanksgiving service might be nice, but I agree, why renew vows you haven't broken and as for asking the guests to renew theirs, it seems to be taking liberties.

For me - a great big NO. Every couple whose renewal of vows I've been to have divorced soon after... Smacks of desperation.
DH is adamant he wouldn't want to, I don't see any need even though we married out of the country so none of the family here were present [most of them are now estranged or dead anyway! ]
DH won't celebrate any anniversaries or birthdays [not even mine!] so a biggie/renewal is totally out of the question.

I feel you renew something when it's broken; so no need if you're still in a happy marriage with vows unbroken.

(Despite the user name I am a Grandma!) If people want to do this, then I say go ahead. Like some of the other Gransnetters here, I can't see me and DH renewing our vows in this country (and we haven't broken them after 33 happy years.) But if we did do it, what we'd love (and we know it may be seen as "tacky!") is the renewal of vows in Las Vegas - presided over by "Elvis"! See: www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/renewalofvows.htm

on our 30th wedding anniversary my hubby and I very privately without any other family or friends present renewed our vows, well it was actually more of a blessing really, as we both told each other how much we loved and respected each other and how much we looked forward to the future. It was a lovely service carried out by lovely people, very private, very personal and very meaningful and a celebration of our love and respect for each other. It doesn't have to be a showy event, just loving and it was a very special day for us both.

I think if we make it to 65 years wed (that is next year) I would just like to have a special service of Thanksgiving. I am one of the lucky ones, never had much but always a loving husband and family. I feel sad when I read of people's lives which have turned sour on them.

Annsixty Thanx for your good wishes. We are not as far down the road as you and your DH which is why we decided to really go for it with a celebration designed to put no additional stress on DH. I am in 'enjoy the present' mode and try not to dwell on what is yet to come. After all any of us might be knocked down and out by the proverbial bus tomorrow. Carpe Diem.

I think a Blessing and Thanksgiving ceremony would be lovely but I suspect DH would hate it .As we married late we will be lucky to make it to 50 years so if we do will be celebrating with a vengeance .My birthday is within three days of our anniversary so we tend to go on holiday ..Prague for my 50th USA for my 60th and India for my 65th
I suspect for our 50th (I would be 82) we might be a bit past long haul.Might give in and do a nice cruise

I seem to think you have posted that you are in the same situation as me Granny23 so congratulations and so pleased for you that you were able to do. We did but it wouldn't happen now.

Our Golden Wedding was last Saturday and we had a BIG alfresco party on Sunday with ALL our relatives (we are a small family)and friends and neighbours,old and new. My elder DD who is an Independent Celebrant was desperate to perform a Renewal of Vows for us, just as she conducted the Marriage Ceremony for her wee sister (at the same venue) 3 years ago, but we said a firm NO. Instead we gathered everyone round mid afternoon, DD said a few words, I was presented with a bouquet and a lucky horseshoe by the DGC, my sister as bridesmaid told a funny story about the wedding and a friend read a tribute poem she had written. We cut the cake,then a toast to 'The Bride and Groom' three cheers and we could relax again.

We had a perfect day, whole weekend in fact. DH sat in state on the terrace talking to whoever came and joined him (later admitted he hadn't a clue who most of them were)while I mixed and mingled and presented Winner's Rosettes for the daft games. I'm so glad we did it while we were still (just)able. Lovely memories to cherish.

NO

I did. After 25 years of marriage. In the church we used to attend when we lived in London. The entire congregation was our three daughters.

Agree with everything already said. Totally embarrassing, and just another commercial idea to get us to spend.

I wouldn't want to. I haven't broken the vows so why renew? I don't see any harm in it if that's what you want and it wouldn't make your guests uncomfortable. On Say Yes to the Dress, there are often buying extravagant outfits for their renewal ceremonies. I wouldn't mind a cruise though.

I always think it's an attention-seeking thing and really don't see the point ... why not just have a party?

I'm not sure what vows I made anyway since we got married in Copenhagen and the 5 minute ceremony is a blur!!!

I refer you to the episode in "Gavin and Stacey", where Dawn and Peter renew their vows.

Love Dolly and admire what she does, but renewal is not for us. We had a small church wedding 50 years ago, but now no longer have any religious beliefs so it would be hypocritical to renew vows. Parties are fine though.

Thanks stansgran it was truly a lovely day my sons were amazed at us doing it as we are not a showy couple at all. It was carefully chosen friends and church where our boys had been to boys brigade and school carol services etc afterwards a little country pub with function room and background music playing. I wore cream suit and small bunch flowers given to me by hubby?all tasteful and we often talk about our 'unusual' but very lovely decision my husband is the type who won't even have photo taken! We have been through some really hard times since financial emotional ageing parents to look after and the usual family traumas. However that day was the best day ever and no one can take it away do it but do it for a reason a one that you will always remember x