I went to a Grammar school, DH was at a Secondary Modern, I went on to further education, whereas DH signed on as an apprentice engineer at 16. He has always earned more than me, so ultimately our differing education means nothing.
Our DS went to a Grammar school, because we live in the catchment area and he passed his 11+. We didn't move to the area because of the school system, in fact we bought our house from DH's parents, they were moving and we were engaged and looking to buy!
DS is still in contact with his friends from infant/junior school who went to the Secondary Mod, they didn't lose touch because of being at different schools.
We also made sure that he never thought of himself as in any way superior because he was a 'Grammar School Boy'!
Our DDiL went to a Comprehensive, but went to the same Uni as our DS, in fact that's how they met.
Our DS was not tutored to pass his 11+, he was always expected to pass anyway, but I believe tutoring to pass the exam is cruel. If the child is tutored and doesn't pass, they may feel as though they're a complete failure, and if they only pass due to being tutored, they may struggle when they actually get to the Grammar school.
If DS hadn't passed the 11+, he'd have gone to the Secondary Mod, better to shine in a Secondary Mod, than struggle to keep up in a Grammar!
Some of the boys our DS was at school with were pompous little a**es, but they can be found anywhere, most of them were just normal kids, sweaty teenaged lads!
There were boys in his year from all walks of life, some of them lived in houses worth well over the million mark, others came from a council estate.
The late, great Harold Wilson was a Grammar school boy, passing the 11+ and being educated at Royds Hall Grammar school in Huddersfield, followed by his sixth form years at Wirral Grammar School for Boys, where he became the school's first Head Boy!
Some people have entirely the wrong idea of Grammar schools, it doesn't matter whether the parents are wealthy or not, it's just a way for bright, gifted and talented kids to get the best education for them, their economic background doesn't, and shouldn't matter!
If we in this country lose our Grammar schools, it will be a tragedy, but I suppose jealousy will always be a part of life. It's not a case of 'have and have nots', it's more a matter of 'I can't have, so nor should you'!