Online bullying led to this boy's suicide

What a heartrenching story I also worry this could happen to my grandchildren I don't understand how people can be so cruel to another human being , especially these trolls who don't even know the person but jump on the nasty bandwagon . My son was bullied for a while at secondary school mainly by an older boy ,when I saw headmaster he said there was no bullying in his school but had to take that back when he questioned the boy and he admitted it bullying as always gone on but with social media it can spread it's frightening , don't know how it can be stopped .

Diddy, if we don't argue about schools policies and just offer sympathy to the victims nothing will ever change, that's the equivalent of sticking our heads in the sand. Of course I sympathise with Felix's family because there for the grace of God!

My son is now 32, he was bullied so badly on a daily basis at school that I had to move him to another. You can not appreciate how bad an experience this is unless you go through it. A child I have living with me now is 14 and I have to be continually vigilant as he is vulnerable. I police his internet access at home, I'm aware of everything he does and who contacts him, we discuss his 'friendships'.
But my question, to the education authorities in particular is, if all this aledged effort is being put into policing the bullying just what have we achieved in the last 18 years? As far as I can see Nothing!
Nothing has changed since my son was 14, we may have learnt a few things but we certainly don't act on them, until there are stricter sanctions put in place and people stop protecting the bullies, making excuses for them, vulnerable children will continue to suffer or even die.

I think we should concentrate in this case, on the plight of this family, losing a Son, not arguing about Schools policies etc.RIP Felix.

It is a sad case and I feel for the family of Felix. I was bullied relentlessly at secondary school so I know what it feels like. I hated school so much that I eventually stopped going and that resulted in my parents getting visits from the truant officer. All I could think was, if I don't go, I'm safe from the bullies.
In the era of internet & social media there is no escape for the children & young adults whose lives are being made so miserable by certain individuals.
I worry for my DGD's now

I said
Also of course, most teachers, work colleagues etc dont want to have to deal with it. They want an easy, non complicated, non messy, life.

That is different to "dont want to know".
And I said teachers, work colleagues etc.
etc

There cannot be many people anywhere who want to have to deal with it.
Unless they like that sort of thing

I very much agree with most of the rest of your post.
I did wince slightly when you said about parents facing the perpertrator. Is that a good idea? Not sure

Unfortunately, filtering websites does not stop cyberbullying. Additionally, it is almost impossible to stop a teenager from having unsupervised access to the internet. Even if parents don't allow unsupervised access in their own home, most teenagers have smartphones/ipads and it only takes five minutes on the way home from school or in a friend's house for the damage to be done.

A typical scenario might be for somebody to take an embarrassing photo of the victim or start spreading a malicious rumour. Such pictures and messages can be round the whole school (even the whole world) in seconds. It doesn't help if the victim has no access to the internet or can't access the apps being used. What often happens next is that gangs of sometimes unknown people start making comments and/or push and shove or blacklist the victim. There's nothing new about all this, but it can spread a great deal faster than in the past. Sometimes the victim doesn't even see the original photo or picture.

My personal view is that filters and blocking sites give parents a false sense of security. It's far better to encourage a teenager to talk, which is easier said than done if you have a full-blown, moody, monosyllabic teenager on your hands, but I think it's far better to try and build up resilience to bullying. If possible, parents can face the perpetrator(s).

@obieone

Schools have to have a bullying policy by law and, in my experience, some schools are better at dealing with it than others. It really isn't true that teachers don't want to know, but sometimes there is a limit to what they can do, if the bullying is occurring on the way to/from school or at home, which is more than often the case.

Plus all the schools involved have got to take some of the flak for this.
As the parent involved, and sadly says, she is trying to educate the educators.

In my day, 20 years ago, there were bullying protocols in place. And these were looked at on a rolling basis to keep them up to date.
I assumed and assume still they were and are in every school.

This isnt the dark ages. Bullying has always been around, and in every school I should think.

No excuse in 2016 for a parent to have to try and educate the educators.

Of course there are ways to stop cyber bullying and it's relatively easy to do although you have to be a 'little bit' computer savvy. Change the password, change the internet account, change or complain to the ISP (internet service provider) and demand the person/s are blocked, make blocking filters from incoming emails to cancel out all the people you don't want to entertain (I currently have 45 such filters in place) subscribe to parental control. So it's fairly straightforward and if you don't know how seek advice. Finally and most importantly, NEVER let VULNERABLE children have unsupervised internet access

It's horrible Daphne heartbreaking in fact.

most teachers, work colleagues etc dont want to have to deal with it. They want an easy, non complicated, non messy,life

Let's slag off blame the teachers again is it any wonder dedicated, idealistic but too often exhausted teachers become disillusioned and leave the profession?

I think teenage suicides resulting from bullying are a bigger problem however with more complex reasons. This tragedy was not unique.

I tried to agree to differ Anya.

I do not profess to speak for all schools everywhere, whatever sort they are. It is not possible.

So I will repeat it.

Also of course, most teachers, work colleagues etc dont want to have to deal with it. They want an easy, non complicated, non messy, life

I am not speaking personally about you DB[I couldnt even remember you were a teacher?], or any schools you have ever worked in.

FFS give it a rest you two.

<sigh> nor can you.
But after 30 years in secondary education, I defer to your superior experience.

I have been a school governor in a primary school for 4 years for example.
I cannot possibly see how you can speak for all schools everywhere .

I agree to differ.

Having worked extensively in secondary education on the issues behind bullying, why some children are identified as potential victims early on and why others "escape" as well as looking carefully at the background, motivation and rationale behind the bullies themselves, I can say categorically that your sweeping generalisation certainly does NOT apply in education.
Don't be so quick to pass judgement.

We can agree to differ.

I agree to differ.

It most definitely is the case.

Also of course, most teachers, work colleagues etc dont want to have to deal with it. They want an easy, non complicated, non messy, life

Yeah, right.
1) this is rubbish simply not the case
2) also unhelpful
3) if only it were as easy as your post of 11.38 suggests.
Try telling that to grieving parents

Also of course, most teachers, work colleagues etc dont want to have to deal with it. They want an easy, non complicated, non messy, life.

Whistleblowing in general, is still seen as something not nice in some quarters.

In schools, they should deal with it.

On Online forums, the moderators.

In the work place, bosses.

What seems to happen, is that they need to see a lot of evidence before they act.

They should act sooner, but they are scared to, in case they get it wrong with such a strong accusation.

But meanwhile , perpertrators get away with it for longer, and the victim suffers with it for longer.

This is tragic. I don't remember children being so cruel when I was young, but maybe that was because there was no internet to make it easy to bully. I don't know what the answer is, perhaps parents should be more aware of what their children are posting on forums.