Gransnet forums

News & politics

Sex Education for 4 year olds !

(129 Posts)
NanaandGrampy Tue 28-Feb-17 22:25:43

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/02/28/ministers-set-announce-plans-compulsory-sex-education-lessons/

Saw this announced this evening ! This is to protect 4 year olds against online and social media sexual content .

All 4 of my grandchildren have access to technology in some form or another. Not unsupervised. I am struggling to understand why our 5 year old would benefit in any way shape or form. Am I missing the point?

I can clearly see the benefit for older secondary school children but I am almost positive my littlest ones would be totally uninterested and probably slightly confused. They believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy - sex is a step too far.

Please give me an explanation .... I need to go and lie down in a darkened room!

Pamish Thu 02-Mar-17 00:07:04

The lessons are called Personal, Sex and Health Education. Young ones are taught about relationships, how to look after friends, dealing with bullying, emotional intelligence - essential stuff. Then age appropriate sex education later. Misrepresenting this eg in that headline, is why parents freak out and withdraw their children. Unfortunately they will still be allowed to do this, which is a really bad idea. Parents who don't want their children to learn about sex and boundaries are more likely to be the ones who are abusing their children. No exceptions should be the rule - including for all private schools, and especially, for home educated children who are the extra extra vulnerable.

Oh and it must be specialist teachers, not the gym teacher dragooned into ticking it off the list in a spare half hour.

Jalima Wed 01-Mar-17 22:40:34

I don't think children start their periods at 5 or 9 years of age at all or at least it's very rare if they do
Caretaker I believe you are an older male and perhaps not an authority on this.

Even 60+ years ago a girl in my class had started her periods at 8.
I must say that most of the rest of us did not understand what it meant. However, our parents were requested to tell us a brief version of the 'facts of life' before we started senior school. Schools opted out in those days.

It's biology.

I think what is proposed is more to give small children an awareness of what is right or wrong rather than detailed sex education.

Elegran Wed 01-Mar-17 22:24:58

I think some people still believe that young people who had been kept ignorant about sex would have no sex drive and be unable to do it. If that were true, wild creatures who had no "sex education" wouldn't know how to breed, so there would never be any baby animals born.

Deedaa Wed 01-Mar-17 22:03:34

As I understand it sex won't really be involved for the youngest children, just relationships in general. In fact someone did say that parents will still be able to withdraw their children from the actual sex lessons.

daphnedill Wed 01-Mar-17 21:54:15

x post

GillT57 Wed 01-Mar-17 21:53:42

Caretaker I think you will find the teenage birth rate is dropping. I am delighted that you and your wife were so compatible and got it right first time, but surely you do not think this is the way it should be for everyone? Suggest you read Chesil Beach and be thankful.

daphnedill Wed 01-Mar-17 21:52:32

The 15-17 year old conception rate in England and Wales halved from 1971 to 2014, probably at least partly as a result of better sex education.

Caretaker Wed 01-Mar-17 21:50:38

"Young people are more likely to be diagnosed with an STI than older age groups. In 2015, among heterosexuals diagnosed, 15 to 24-year-olds accounted for 62% of those with chlamydia, 52% with gonorrhoea, 51% with genital warts, and 41% with genital herpes."

Caretaker Wed 01-Mar-17 21:42:24

We read in the press day after day about child abuse recent and historical also the the uk has one of the highest rates of under age pregnancies. Children have been given sex education from 11 years of age in UK schools for the past 30 years it has not stopped the pregnancy rates or the sexually transmitted infection rates again the highest in Europe.

Bibbity Wed 01-Mar-17 21:25:31

But that's exactly the problem. You didn't have a fraction of information at your disposal as what my a toddler now can.
Can you honestly not see how while you're fine there are serious risks to leaving children find their own way?

Caretaker Wed 01-Mar-17 21:22:41

It was no big deal to me or my wife what we did not know we read up on it to learn. I went to an all boys school and my wife to an all girls school. I was nursing for 37 years my wife 42 years as nurse/midwife.

Bibbity Wed 01-Mar-17 21:15:20

Caretaker times have moved on I don't know anyone who is with their first sexual partner.
Sex is more fluid now and while they won't be educating the four year olds about it they defiantly need to prepare the 13+ about consent, contraception, morning after pill, abortion etc

Elegran Wed 01-Mar-17 20:31:03

It isn't all just about periods, you know.

Elegran Wed 01-Mar-17 20:30:36

You were lucky, caretaker. You might have been told some very odd things by your mates, and continued to believe them for the rest of your life.

You might have been in a family who didn't treat one another with respect, and thought that was the norm for sexual relations.

You might have been very worried by a wet dream, thinking that something had gone wrong with your body.

You might have had an innocent intimate cuddle with a teenage girlfriend that somehow ended with her becoming a pregnant schoolgirl.

You might have met someone who abused you, and had no idea what was happening or why.

Caretaker Wed 01-Mar-17 20:20:53

I don't think children start their periods at 5 or 9 years of age at all or at least it's very rare if they do. No one told me about sex at school or anywhere else for that matter my wife and I did not have sex before marriage she is the only girlfriend I have ever had we have been together 48 years married 45 and I thank god for her every second of the day. Not knowing about sex when we were young never did us any harm.

Caroline123 Wed 01-Mar-17 20:06:40

Because I worked with pregnant women and babies my daughter always knew where babies come from,and as to how they got there I copped out and said mummys and daddys had a special cuddle!She always knew the proper name for boys and girls genitalia,much to some other parents disgust I have to say.

Bibbity Wed 01-Mar-17 19:42:10

Aepgirl if your GS is 6 and doesn't want you in the bathroom as he is there then you need to respect that full stop.

Iam64 Wed 01-Mar-17 19:37:16

I'm sorry about your experience and understand your anger, handmadedogssweaters.

handmadedogsweaters Wed 01-Mar-17 19:19:18

IAM64 I know all about sexual abuse as I was abused in childrens homes and foster homes as a young girl. Now if my parents had told me about sexual abuse etc. (before I went into care)I would not have been the dumb naive person I was at the time of the abuse.So therefore YES I do blame the parents,for not protecting the children by making them aware of sexual abuse. In fact I will say it is abuse on the parents behalf by not speaking to their children re. sex offenders etc.

Iam64 Wed 01-Mar-17 19:14:17

this is where we need an edit button - it sounds as though Aepgirl's friend gave her 7 year old information in a way that was less than helpful. That's where its helpful to have teachers etc who are trained and at ease delivering age appropriate information.

Iam64 Wed 01-Mar-17 19:12:43

Giving children information won't scare them Aepgirl.

Aepgirl Wed 01-Mar-17 19:07:31

The daughter-in-law of one my friends was told that her 7-year old would soon be having sex education at school. In order to prepare him for this she decided to tell him a few facts - maybe too many! as his reaction was 'That's disgusting. I am now going to be sick.'

Personally I think 4-years old is far too young. My grandson is 6 and it worries me that if he receives information about keeping his body safe, etc, how will he react to me being in the bathroom with him, or even sharing his bedroom when we all go on holiday together?

Iam64 Wed 01-Mar-17 18:49:53

gillybob, thanks so much for your post. Your comments confirm exactly why sex and relationship education should be compulsory for all our children.
handmadedogsweaters - No, it wouldn't be the parents fault if their children were sexually abused by a paedophile, it would be the fault of the paedophile. Comments like the one you made are totally out of order. Anyone who has worked with children who were sexually abused will tell you how devastated their parents were. Especially if the abuser, as is so often the case, was a family member or close friend.
I hope that the current investigations into historical child abuse will encourage adults to accept and welcome the proposals for sex and relationship education for children. Even better if it encourages adults to accept that sex offenders live amongst us, look just like we do, don't have a tail and horns to identify them as not like us.

supersonic Wed 01-Mar-17 18:37:29

I worked as a teaching assistant for 12 years in a primary school, and I feel sure there will not be sexual content for small children. I was present during the relationship and sex education classes and I was so proud of the way our teachers were so careful and gentle with information. It was absolutely age appropriate, and no child could feel anxious. For the younger children it was sometimes just untangling information they had acquired from each other, and talking about general relationships.
The approach was always cheerful and kindly.
On the other hand, a very few children obviously had seen
things at home, perhaps in videos or had been told things by older siblings that were clearly not age appropriate, and teachers were able to allay fears in those very few cases.

gillybob Wed 01-Mar-17 18:33:23

My mother in her wisdom confused thought that she should be the one to give me sex education and wrote to the school forbidding me to take part in SE classes.

1) My mother was the biggest/worst prude ever so it was never going to happen.
2) I was mocked and bullied because I had to sit out the classes.
3) I was VERY naïve when it came to sex and really didn't know anything for a fact. Just bits I had picked up long the way.
I got pregnant at 17.

I don't think parents should be allowed to opt children out of sex education at all.