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The art of persuasion

(86 Posts)
Elegran Wed 05-Apr-17 09:10:41

The political scene online as well as off it has become the an arena for gladiatorial fights to the death, a snakepit of bile and venom and death threats directed at those with different views (also on GN, though so far no death threats). Isn't it time to try a new approach?

I realise this is a revolutionary suggestion but desperate situations demand desperate measures. Couldn't everyone make an effort to listen as well as shout? To see WHY people believe what they do? To say to them "I see what you mean. You have a point there. Could that be solved by . . ." instead of being accusatory and adversarial, instead of haranguing as though faced with delinquent adolescents?

Watch this.
www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_let_s_try_emotional_correctness

Elegran Fri 07-Apr-17 09:59:08

Ok, so that we can return to the understated elegance and calm discussion of antisocial attitudes that this thread was concentrating on before I was tempted to make a small mild joke, which then attracted the usual critics much as the smell of meat does a predator, I shall post an edited version.

GracesGranMK2 Fri 07-Apr-17 09:33:23

Whose level of intelligence or education is denigrated on here Sunseeker? We cannot know either from a post; you don't know mine and I don't know yours.

However, everyone of us can acquire knowledge and test it to see if it is reliable, biased or fake. Even Facebook has got that message.

GracesGranMK2 Fri 07-Apr-17 09:03:31

Not new but always stirring perhaps Esspee?

sunseeker Fri 07-Apr-17 07:53:43

I belong to another forum where, believe it or not, there are discussions which do not descend to name calling or insults. People can post differing views without the fear of their intelligence or level of education being denigrated.

Esspee Fri 07-Apr-17 07:31:20

No, I'm not new but have only recently noticed the stream of argumentative (just for the sake of it) comments emanating from the same quarter all the time.

GracesGranMK2 Thu 06-Apr-17 23:28:15

In my world Chewbacca, sharing information, referencing and making people aware of sources of information is normal and expected good manners; to you it is 'off putting'. In your world it appears name calling (condescending and snippy) and denigrating the way others choose to post appears to be acceptable, to me it is just bad manners but we all have different expectations and we will either have to put up with those differences, try and understand why other people are the way they are or give up and go and have a cup of tea and get on with real life.

Chewbacca Thu 06-Apr-17 22:36:01

To be totally honest, I am finding the sniping; condescending and snippy remarks that some posters make (and it's pretty much the same posters, no matter what thread they're on), really off putting. There have been so many threads that I've contributed to but then, when the sarky remarks get rolled out, I just leave the thread and move on. I don't want to read demands for "evidence" to back up a posters views or those dreaded endless url links; they don't contribute to a discussion, they become lectures and, imo, make boring reading, even if I'm interested in the subject. I don't think I'm alone in thinking this because I've noticed that, very often, many posters also stop posting their comments on those threads and it ends up with just one or two left who are in total mutual agreement which isn't really much of an open discussion! A good discussion is one where everyone voices their opinions but they have the good manners to respect other points of view without resorting to making anyone feel unwelcome or uncomfortable.

durhamjen Thu 06-Apr-17 22:26:36

Very appropriate, Jayanna.

Jayanna9040 Thu 06-Apr-17 22:14:24

Ah there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so - or something like that anyway?

durhamjen Thu 06-Apr-17 22:09:00

Esspee isn't new, are you, Esspee?

I've actually spent today teaching my grandson Hamlet.

Ana Thu 06-Apr-17 22:02:01

You must be new, Esspee. We're all used to it by now...wink

Esspee Thu 06-Apr-17 21:50:19

Unfortunately Durhamjen seems to have spent today being obnoxious to everyone (on multiple threads). Elegran did not deserve the sniping.

GracesGranMK2 Thu 06-Apr-17 20:23:29

... and so it continues with Esspee deliberately making something out of Jen's post that wasn't there and then being personal in a derogatory way while, it appears, feeling very superior.

I am sorry Elegran but I think you are on a hiding to nothing.

Jayanna9040 Thu 06-Apr-17 19:40:38

I don't think we should say that to anyone Esoee. Not very in the spirit of the OP is it?

Esspee Thu 06-Apr-17 18:56:37

Oh my goodness, is there no escape from the aggressive rudeness of Durhamjen? My theory is that she is missing essential nutrients in her diet. Elegran, just ignore her and we can all hope that she goes away!

durhamjen Thu 06-Apr-17 18:44:19

That's the first rule, then. You're allowed to be rude about U-Kippers because they are nobody in particular.

pollyperkins Thu 06-Apr-17 18:30:06

Well I thought it was funny , and not directed at anyone in particular!

Iam64 Thu 06-Apr-17 18:28:57

I found it light and entertaining to see Elegran's explanation of the difference between a Kipper and a Ukipper.

I haven't watched the video clips yet (extremely busy day) but I'd read that 'emotional intelligence' was to be recommended over 'political correctness'. I always disliked the phrase pc, because I felt it was usually used in a derogatory fashion, to criticise people who sought to analyse issues and try to avoid offending folks. I can see though, it serves some purpose. I still prefer the idea of EI.

durhamjen Thu 06-Apr-17 16:39:11

Insulting UKippers?
Leave you to it.
Who decides what's light or not?

Elegran Thu 06-Apr-17 16:33:21

No, dj I haven't ranted at or abused anyone. I posted a humorous answer to a question, in the vain hope that it would keep the discussion light.

durhamjen Thu 06-Apr-17 16:24:08

Elegran, haven't you just gone against the whole ethos of this thread?

Elegran Thu 06-Apr-17 16:04:22

Sorry for the inaccuracy in the above - it should read "a member of a political party" etc.

Elegran Thu 06-Apr-17 16:02:39

Kipper - a whole herring, a small, oily fish, that has been split into a butterfly fashion from tail to head along the dorsal ridge, gutted, salted or pickled, and cold-smoked over smouldering woodchips (typically oak).

U-kipper - a political party of small, oily, fishy MPs and their voters, that should be split into a butterfly fashion from tail to head along the dorsal ridge, gutted, salted or pickled, and cold-smoked over smouldering woodchips (typically oak).

joannewton46 Thu 06-Apr-17 15:53:00

So am I Stansgran. What's a Kipper?

Elegran Thu 06-Apr-17 14:11:19

GG2 We are not being asked - as it seems you have taken out of the video clip in my link - "to use emotional correctness instead of logic" but to use it as well as logic, and to apply the logic in a way that will get through to the other person and make sense to them.

Too many "debates" or discussions don't do this, they try to force the square peg who is arguing with them into a round hole, and then berate them for their obstinacy in not fitting. The result is most often to confirm them in the certainty that the round hole is all wrong, and their square profile is the right one.

The internet is NOT either a workplace (where people on the whole do as they are instructed, with varying degrees of good grace according to their assessment of whether it is reasonable) or a political debating chamber where professional heavyweight wranglers beat the hell out of each others' proposals for running the country. A social netweork like Gransnet is the equivalent of chatting to personal friends.

I am about to watch the video clip again, to take some quotes from the transcription. Back later.