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The art of persuasion

(85 Posts)
rosesarered Wed 05-Apr-17 11:13:25

I did try and get that point across a few months ago Elegran my point was to be reasonably civil even in disagreement.
It doesn't need to be all that softly softly, but to stop personal comments on a political thread (of the kind I get all too often).
I put it down to an imbalance of political views, if a thread is dominated by left wing or has been seen, Remainers, ( often both together) then along comes somebody with a different view, then wallop! It won't be tolerated.Some balance is needed, but will that happen?Most people like a quiet life.

sunseeker Wed 05-Apr-17 10:58:01

MaizieD But I am sure you can let them know that without resorting to insults and abuse.

MaizieD Wed 05-Apr-17 10:47:39

I'd find it incredibly difficult to be conciliating to someone who is talking what I know to be absolute nonsense or untruths. My brain knows all the sensible reasons for the 'softly softly' approach but my motor mouth just ignores them. Sorry sad

Elegran Wed 05-Apr-17 09:53:21

I see his point, Jayanna, but the trouble with using shit is that the smell hangs around for ages after the argument has been won or lost. Meanwhile those who were arguing have to live with one another and the bad smell. The memory interferes with other discussions and prevents what might have been pleasant talks on other subjects.

sunseeker Wed 05-Apr-17 09:47:15

I am all in favour of robust discussion but too often it seems to sink to name calling and insults. I was on holiday recently and met someone whose views on just about everything were completely opposite to mine. We had many interesting discussions, which never turned nasty, and often had to agree to disagree. At the end of the holiday we shook hands and he thanked me for all the interesting discussions we had as I did him. It is possible to discuss things, even those someone is passionate about, without resorting to unpleasantness.

Jayanna9040 Wed 05-Apr-17 09:32:25

Was at a meeting once where somebody quoted that and the Chair said "Yes and you catch even more with s***."
Not quite sure what he was getting at but I think he regarded the quotee as an a roll over and give in kind of person!

Elegran Wed 05-Apr-17 09:27:28

I was about to quote that saying on another thread, Teetime, but I decided against it as I seem to have said it several times. It would probably not have made any impression on those who need to remember it, though.

Teetime Wed 05-Apr-17 09:21:58

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
The Chair of the charity I a trustee of is taking a very heavy handed approach and several of us are thinking of leaving.

MawBroon Wed 05-Apr-17 09:18:45

I have seen this too and she makes excellent sense.

Elegran Wed 05-Apr-17 09:10:41

The political scene online as well as off it has become the an arena for gladiatorial fights to the death, a snakepit of bile and venom and death threats directed at those with different views (also on GN, though so far no death threats). Isn't it time to try a new approach?

I realise this is a revolutionary suggestion but desperate situations demand desperate measures. Couldn't everyone make an effort to listen as well as shout? To see WHY people believe what they do? To say to them "I see what you mean. You have a point there. Could that be solved by . . ." instead of being accusatory and adversarial, instead of haranguing as though faced with delinquent adolescents?

Watch this.
www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_let_s_try_emotional_correctness