Watching porn: does it do real harm or is the reaction merely moral panic

You probably would if it was your daughter being filmed
and it is someone’s child

Pornography = exploitation. End of. It is wrong.
Pornography distorts young people's attitude to sex, and incites expectations rather than a loving exchange. It is wrong.

As to the sexualisation of children - primary school children skimpily dressed and dancing with the whole pelvic thrusting thing - god help us.

That’s the problem with young boys watching porn, they cannot differentiate between fact and fiction. And has already been said here, the emotional complexities of a normal relationship are only marginally touched on in schools. If kids have sensible parents it is usually discussed when dating starts, however, so many have toxic home lives and no advice, just bad role models. When I worked part time in a senior school I was so shocked at the comments from the young boys during sex education. It’s very worrying.

One of our local vicars is up in court this month charged with having images of children on his computer.
Of course he may be innocent!
The trouble with porn is that it’s addictive, these, usually men, soon get fed up of the soft stuff and need more unusual scenarios to feed their addiction.
I would think that most of the porn available damages someone so how can it be anything but abhorrent.
When I was young I used to think Mary Whitehouse was a bit of a nutter. Now I think she had a point.
As an ex employer I would take an extremely dim view of anyone using my time to access porn. Apart from stealing time from me, what sort of trouble could I have found myself in?

What people do in the privacy of their own homes is their business as long as it is not harmful to others. What they do in the workplace is however, not their business but that of the employer and if I saw a work colleague watching porn I would be asking for part of his/her salary to compensate me for actually doing my job while they were not. Porn is porn - doesn't matter to me whether it is 'soft' or otherwise, children don't need to be exposed to this and the internet should have some kind of regulation on it. I agree with others, men especially become desensitised by porn and then have to play out even more extreme fantasies on flesh and blood women.

I watched a programme about young teenagers in a sex education class,the attitudes they had to women ,,their bodies and what was expected of them made my hair curl.These 13 and 14 year olds thought woman who had ANY body hair were disgusting dirty human beings,they thought it was ok to expect oral sex off a girl the first time they met,they expected her to send pictures on her phone to titillate him when he was on his own.No mention of any relationship ..no mention of the girl as a person with opin ions or even rights where sex was concerned.It made me very sad that watching porn was "normal" for them and so worried ofr my young grandaughters about the type of boys they'll come across before too long .Something needs to be done to stop the ease of accessability to porn for children ...13 and 14 year olds ARE children in my view

paddynann,I agree but what can be done to stop the ease of accessibility to porn by children.

It makes me wish we could go back to porn being largely socially unacceptable and only available in a few shops. There is a link between watching porn, wanting more 'exciting' porn and sexually abusive behaviour. No offence meant vampire, I'm thinking more of men like the father mentioned earlier in this thread.

Maybe you'd better define the level of 'porn' that we're talking about? Page 3 pinups? Or sex acts?

It's the curse of the internet isn't it. Years ago, no idea how many, weren't pornographic magazines always placed on the top shelf so they couldn't be accessed by children? And wasn't the harder stuff hidden under the counter? And didn't you have to be 18 to purchase it?

Responsible parents would ensure that if this type of 'literature' was in the home it was out of sight and reach of children but is is that easy to stop children accessing porn on the internet?

It must be a nightmare for parents trying to keep their children safe.

I started a thread on AIBU in the summer about my and horror seeing lollies in the shape of a penis on sale in a shop clearly aimed at families, and in reach of young children.

I wouldn't want to be seated next to anyone watching porn TBH regardless of where I was. Each to their own of course as long as the porn being watched is between consulting adults.

I would object very much to a colleague using time at work to look at porn. On the same grounds as most of the others, that it is dishonest to use your employer's computer and internet connection for private affairs.

If an adult wants to watch porn at home in his or own time, then that is none of my business.

I do, as a former teacher, feel that teenagers get a lot of ideas put into their heads that did not come there naturally if they are allowed to watch porn or for that matter read very explicit books and that parents should be aware of what their youngsters are playing around with and try to counteract it by discussing porn which can perhaps be considered as fairy tales for grown-ups.

Unfortunately, the porn industry, is like prostitution, not always something a young man or woman chooses to get into entirely of their own free will. Basically, I am old fashioned enough to consider all porn degrading and potentially harmful,

It's just horrible in every respect plain and simple!

Each sexual encounter is a training session for the next one. In a genuine relationship, the sexual act gets better as the participants get more used to one another, get more practised at working together so that both get more out of it. Even when they have a different partner that experience can "carry over" the lessons learnt about consideration, mutuality and so on to another relationship.

Pornography has its place - it can be useful as a release when the real thing is unobtainable, or to prime the pump if it is running a bit slow, but that is as a temporary expedient - not as regular entertainment, or a way of filling in boring moments at work, or as an addictive drug.

What does an intensive course in pornography train the reader/viewer in? Nothing that is good for a relationship with a real person, only how to react as a voyeur to an actor/tress who poses in a series of fake titillating attitudes, or who is pretending to be ultra-submissive, or ultra-dominating. It provides the keen student with repeated virtual practice in how to release all their most sickening fantasies onto someone who doesn't retaliate or leave the building, fantasies which might have withered and died off in the face of a real person who said "No I won't!" when it was still just a slight inclination. Practice in how anything they do is accepted, and however contemptuous they are of the human being to whom they do it that person has to accept the insults, they have no power to call a halt.

And having learnt all the lessons, absorbed all the unspoken attitudes, rehearsed all the moves and internalised the ethos, how can they adjust all that to the the flesh and blood women who inhabit the real world? Instead, real women are expected to conform to the fantasy stereotypes. And not only grown women with some degree of choice, either.

I feel that much porn displays the nastiest aspects of sex and as a result it must bring out the worst in people.
Youngsters, who I'd expect to not have too much experience of real sex get an unrealistic and skewed view. It can only coarsen the human spirit, surely?

Having watched the TV programme about the development of sex robots, I wonder if it is fuelled by the porn industry inducing a need that cannot be fulfilled by a human?

Part of the problem has to be that we don't usually go into the specifics when we teach sex education, whether at home or in school. Therefore kids think that what they see in porn films is the norm. I do remember a TV series where they brought in a sex educator and the school kids were encouraged to discuss all aspects of sex

I wonder how the male species would react to men being objectified in porn films?

I saw the programme about sex robots too. I was horrified. There is more to sex than the act. The man who loved his dolls didn't seem to understand that and I felt very sorry for his wife who verbally said she was OK with it but her body language told a totally different story.

As much as I enjoy the odd bit of porn (and no I wouldn't feel degraded if it was my daughter as long as it was her choice and she was being well paid) I would rather it became virtually impossible to access if it helped to protect children. Sadly young people are not just swayed by pornography but also by what they see on the television and in magazines which promote a body shapes that are impossible for the majority of people to attain.

We need to ask ourselves what we want for our children. Do we want the next generation to grow up not only with a warped view of sex and love but also what their bodies should look like or do we want them to form healthy, loving sexual relationships and be happy with themselves rather than constantly striving to achieve the unachievable. If we want the latter then we need to flick the switches on porn sites so that they cannot be accessed without being a member of the site and payment. We also need to change the mindset of magazines and tv programmes that promote 'perfect' male and female bodies, stop all adverts that use sex to sell (I'm thinking perfume adverts, Diet Coke etc which use female and male bodies), the Scum and the Star and any other paper that uses Page 3 type images and get certain 'adult' magazines back on the top shelf or better still only available from adult shops.

Anyone watching the news about children on live chat?

What the hell is going on?

It's the parents. All of these tablets,android phones laptops are obviously bought by the parent. Every one of these has parental control on. Any parent could set it. Then any porn or filth could not be watched by the child . Easy . Too many bullied parents if you ask me.

Or is it anything for a quiet life ??

I’m not happy about children and young adolescents watching porn, which is basically fantasy, and getting a distorted idea of sex with no experience of reality.

However, I believe adults should be able to make their own choices. People’s sexuality is varied and complex and I don’t believe it should be regulated, beyond the protection of the young or mentally/physically vulnerable.

NannyTee, I don't agree that 'bullied' parents are buying laptops, tablets and phones. When I was 11 hardy anyone had a telephone in their home, we had one because dad's work put it in. Some of my school friends saw phones as so exotic, they'd arrange to call me from a phone box just because they could. We had nothing to say other to each other because it was indeed, exotic.
My 2 year old grandsons can swipe and play games on my mobile. Nope, they aren't addicted but to them, it's the same as doing a jigsaw, painting or playing with play do at the table with me.
They enjoy face time with each other when one is away and face time mummy and daddy at work when they're here. It's with us, whether we like it or not.
Porn should only be available to those who can prove they are over 18 years of age. It must be possible to block sites.

I have no problem with adults making their own choices, but this seems to be confined to the viewers and not to many of the participants who have no choice.

This is what I'm saying.If I was to buy any one of my three DC a laptop for example ( not they were even heard of them ), before I even handed it over I would have set the parental control. This is No Pornography No swear words etc etc. That's all that has to be done to stop the kids getting hold of it.

Also Luckygirl, how many children and women/boys/men are exposed to porn as a means of exciting them and encouraging them to get involved in sexual activity that they are reluctant participants in