The President's Club Annual Gala - "Men Behaving Badly"

I was going to post earlier but didn't have time.

However, I have just heard on the news that it was 'what happened at the after-party that was the cause of most concern'.
Why, if you were a hostess at the event and were uncomfortable with the atmosphere there, would you even think about going to an 'after-party'?
Surely these young women should have more than a modicum of common sense, bearing in mind the widely publicised #MeToo campaign?

If I had found myself in that awful position, I would have taken my money and gone home. My DD, I am sure, would have walked out, however, short of cash they were as students.

Apparently the Agency had 'suited men and women' there ensuring that even the reluctant hostesses engaged with the guests.

There are more questions to be asked than the obvious ones.

The law firm I worked for had an all male boxing event. It was all very secretive. Some of the men involved were known womanisers. Nothing changes sadly.

I don't think any young woman could anticipate that the men attending would be so foul. It was after all a charity event, with many well-known names mentioned in the publicity material. Their world is one where they are free to move around in public with no fear of unwanted attention. The world they were catapulted into was very different. Little wonder they were too shocked to react. It takes a brave woman to complain when surrounded by agressive rich men.

I am surprised at some of the posters seemingly so judgmental of the young women. They could have no idea especially with all the sex scandals these days what to expect. Perhaps they were naiive but this took place at the Dorchester a very respectable up market hotel and not some sleazy dive. They might not even known it was all male, which i woukd think is fairly unusual these days.

As an 18 year old in the 1960s I went into the bar at the dorchester with a girlfriend, they did not serve us and asked us to leave. I was very annoyed, we had no idea why, we were decent and sober but only later realised they thought we were ladies of the night because we were you ng and wearing mini dresses
Whatever a woman chooses to wear, that is not an invitation to grope or touch or expose. If it were one of our daughters or granddaughters would we be so quick to blame them and not the men who on this occasion held the power to carry out random assaults with impunity.

When DD was a student (25 years ago) she worked in a pub in the evening's. When DS commented on the leather micro skirt she wore to work she said she wore it because of the tips it generated. This was done strictly on her terms and I think anyone who attempted to touch her would,have regretted it. She has never been known for suffering fools gladly.

I don't care whether these young women were totally naive, slightly wary of the upcoming event or fully aware that some men would abuse their positions of power. It sickens me that rich, often older, men felt it appropriate to make lewd remarks and grope young women employed as hostesses. It seems to me that the statement that it would be "the most un-PC event of the year" was designed to encourage the guests to behave like uncouth louts.

Why was it necessary to make it an all-male event? Single sex groups may be appropriate in some instances, but why for an evening of dinner and entertainment?

Sadly, once again, we see some women blaming other women for the sleazy, immature and intimidating behaviour of men.

I don’t know what all women events would be equivalent to this one. It’s not the same as a hen night where a dozen girls might get hammered and loud, this was a black tie event at a posh hotel . You can bet they won’t be hosting any more of these events there. Even if the girls were all up for being ogled and groped ( and I don’t believe they were) doesn’t make it right that such sleazy events should be held in the name of charity fund raising.

These young women didn’t have to go to this do. Nobody dragged them along with a gun to their heads.
Innocent young girls I don’t think, they knew exactly what they were letting themselves in for.
I acted as a hostess at the Dorchester Hotel In the late 1960s but I only had to sell raffle tickets. I was allowed to take along my then boyfriend for free and we had a great evening.
I did go to a Law Society do some years ago and was appalled at the vulgaraty of a certain Lord.........it was so awful that I walked out of the room and went to the ladies room. I was just surprised that I was the only woman who did leave the room.
Oldwoman......would you also do away with ‘all women’ events. Have you ever been to one of these?. Let me assure you that it isn’t just men who behave badly.

Some behaviours are most definitely unacceptable, however, I am disappointed that women are constantly portrayed as naive and unable to deal with inappropriate behaviour - it's just infantilising them.
If a man gropes you, tell him to keep his bloody hands to himself!
I'm very mixed on this particular story and fed up with women being given the choice of sex object or human without agency. Neither is acceptable for me.
I'm disappointed with the charities, who have rushed to give the money back too. Take it - do something wonderful with it.

Really pleased that this has been exposed and held up to ridicule and shame.

Load of Neanderthals.

Suddenly we have students who are naive, who didn't understand what hostess meant, who didn't think being told to wear black knickers , bra and heels.

On other threads we read of students who are campaigning for a better world and are engaged in politics .

I don't believe they knew how depraved groups of men can be when given lots to drink, and enough stimulation, plus, in this case, it seems, carte blanche to do whatever took their fancy. That's what they were given, because nobody said anything.

MissAdventure: 'I don't think Pakistani dirty old sods would be treated any differently, except possibly nobody would want to focus on their race, just in case...'

my question was about the attitude of those here who seem to think the young woment 'knew' what they were getting into and shouldn't complain ...

Of course not! I suppose I expect young women of today to have moved on from how things were years ago, when it was accepted that men might push their luck. It seems not.

So rape is an acceptable crime as long as the victim doesn't report it MissAdventure ? surely not

And yet nobody reported anything untoward? Not the women, or the men attending?
Why not? I can't understand how anyone in today's climate wouldn't know how to report things which were unpleasant, at the very least.

I can't believe people on here think such events are ok because its been like this for years, and that its the women's fault for wearing short skirts and being there in the first place. So by this logic, if you were mugged and got your bag stolen its your fault for carrying the bag, if you hadn't been carrying it it wouldn't have tempted the thief . You should be able to carry a bag without being the target of thieves, women should be able to wear a short skirt without some sleaze bag shoving his hand up it.

This event is a hangover from the days when men dominated the City of London. The young women recruited have (thank goodness) been raised in a culture where they expect to be treated as equals and as people, not goods or chattels to be used as men wish. Why should they question a dress code- black is the colour associated with waitressing?
What is interesting is that the Children and families minister Nadhim Zahawi left early because he felt "uncomfortable". Now if nothing was happening why was he uncomfortable? And if he saw things happening was it right just to leave should he not have protested?

Gillybob I do not think these girls were as 'knowing' as you suggest. Some clearly were - and had been doing the job for years but from the upset and distress reported from some of those doing it for the first time, this was not at all what they were expecting.

What no one seems to have commented on is that the newspaper who sent these undercover reporters in was the Financial Times, not a newspaper one usually expects to be blowing the gaff on events like this. Probably eevery single man at that event were FT readers.

I don't think Pakistani dirty old sods would be treated any differently, except possibly nobody would want to focus on their race, just in case...

Yes, a vast difference between the two, admittedly, but again, if these events were boycotted then nobody could be ogled, groped, or anything else.

There is ogled and ogled ... and groped

Wonder what the reaction would have been if it had been a Club of Asian or Pakistani men?

Surely though, the nature of the job these women were hired for would mean that they were going to be ogled?
Its very hard to stand up for the rights of people who willingly partake in these events. It doesn't for one minute excuse the dirty old sods, but if there were no takers for the kind of jobs which involve pandering to them, well, the problem would be on its way to being solved.

But just because its nothing new doesn't mean we have to put up with it today. I suppose you think its Ok for girls in school uniforms to be leered at by men and touched up on the bus - that nothing new either. This is just an extension of everyday sexism. (Catwalk models are usually covered up in couture and aren't there to be ogled by men btw)