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Forced marriage fear? Hide a spoon in your underwear.

(25 Posts)
Elegran Fri 13-Jul-18 08:59:16

Girls who fear that they are to be taken abroad for a forced marriage have been advised to trigger airport security scanners by hiding a spoon in their underwear. This will raise the alarm (if they are over 16) with airport staff who will take them to a private area where they have a last chance to disclose what is planned for them.. This advice has been given in both Britain and Sweden.

No one knows for sure how many Britons are forced into marriage each year. Estimates range from 1,500 to 5,000. More than a third of those affected are thought to be aged under 16.

"Nobody knows what the true figure is because so many young victims are terrified of coming forward. But it is definitely much, much higher than what is reported."

Freedom Charity has produced an app for potential victims of forced marriage or other abuse. It is also aimed at friends of those women who may be at risk and professionals such as teachers. Since the app was launched in March, more than 1,000 people have contacted Freedom Charity using the technology. The charity also has a 24-hour helpline.

The Karma Nirvana charity usually fields 6,500 calls a year from around Britain. This year, it has already reached that number.

Luckygirl Fri 13-Jul-18 09:05:51

How sad that this should be necessary.

merlotgran Fri 13-Jul-18 09:09:02

Surely publicising this will lead to girls being searched by their parents or whoever is forcing the arranged marriage before they go through a security scanner?

gillybob Fri 13-Jul-18 09:40:12

Don’t kid yourself that they will be taken to a private area ! Just saying .

nigglynellie Fri 13-Jul-18 09:47:55

WAS a good idea, but now the cats out of the bag clearly a none starter!! The bright spark who divulged that information has effectively killed it!!

MaizieD Fri 13-Jul-18 09:50:42

Err, how do you get that message to the thousands of girls who may be at risk without some degree of publicity nellie?

Melanieeastanglia Fri 13-Jul-18 10:11:02

Yes, the cat seems to be out of the bag now but it was a good idea in the first place. A spoon is a tangible object. Is it possible for them to be given a safe word - a bit like saying "Angela" in a sentence at a Bar if you feel you're in a frightening situation?

I guess this will also be fraught with difficulty because the wrong people will cotton onto the safe word and the girls will still end up forced into marriage.

Sparklefizz Fri 13-Jul-18 10:42:08

And what happens to a girl who has hidden a spoon in her underwear and is taken off to a supposedly private area? Is she taken into care? Or is she returned to her parents who will punish her severely? She will be too frightened of the aftermath - honour killing or whatever.

nigglynellie Fri 13-Jul-18 10:53:56

God only knows Sf! I dread to think. Would seem an insolvable problem. You get the message out to girls through publicity, and surprise, surprise, the parents/guardians read it too!!

Oldwoman70 Fri 13-Jul-18 11:02:11

Unfortunately many of these girls think they are going on a holiday to visit family - it's not until they actually arrive that they discover what has been planned for them. I really don't know what the solution is

gillybob Fri 13-Jul-18 11:04:34

It’s the “will be taken off to a private area” that troubles me . Because experience has taught me that over zealous airport security staff won’t do this .

jura2 Fri 13-Jul-18 16:59:19

They have trained women to deal with this- and will do it very carefully and sensitively gillybob. Better than the alternative, for sure.

They could hide something metal elsewhere, under a headscarf perhaps- and even, in a condom up the rectum in desperate situation.

gillybob Fri 13-Jul-18 17:06:33

Let’s hope you are right jura they sure as hell don’t have trained men ! My poor DH has been publicly humiliated several times in airports (with colleagues and customers) despite asking to go somewhere private . He is extremely wary of flying these days because of it . They really haven’t got a clue.

gillybob Fri 13-Jul-18 17:08:01

And don’t make me laugh about “carefully and sensitively” .

Jane10 Fri 13-Jul-18 17:14:20

Those poor poor girls. What a thing to live in fear of. Surely if its well publicised not only the girls and their will at least know about it but also airport security staff will be on the look out. Even if only one girl is rescued that's enough.
Sadly I've known some hellish situations that really young girls have ended up in. It's a dreadful business. sad and angry

jura2 Fri 13-Jul-18 20:56:17

Borderguards won't deal with this themsleves, but call in specialised trained officers, females.

Don't want to ask, but how can someone be humiliated in public at the border gate? I get frisked very closely every time as my new knees always trigger the machine- I hand in my prosthesis certificates- but they still have to check me very carefully. They always apologise- and I smile and say 'doing your job to keep us all safe, thanks'.

Eglantine21 Fri 13-Jul-18 21:37:32

One of my brothers always sets off the alarms because of past surgery, but hasn’t had any problems other than having to have an extra check.

But I’ve sometimes had an extra random check too.

It was all handled very pleasantly.

What a shame Gillys husband has had several bad experiences.

PECS Fri 13-Jul-18 22:07:30

I believe that as part of the current safeguarding laws the security staff have been specifically trained to be aware of forced marriage victims
Hopefully this includes sensitive treatment.

gillybob Sat 14-Jul-18 08:21:52

Yes he has Eglantine , thank you for understanding.

Eglantine21 Sat 14-Jul-18 10:57:15

Well although I’ve not had any problems I can see it could be very scary to be hauled off as it were.

My brother always flies from the same airport, not a major one, so perhaps they just think, Oh here’s the man with the head plate again!

Antonia Sat 14-Jul-18 13:19:02

As others have said, it is truly dreadful that this is called for, and of course publicising it negates its objective. However, an intelligent girl may then be able to use the information that a metal object will trigger an alarm, and so use a different metal object with the same result. I do worry, though, about the aftermath for a girl who does this. Being prevented from boarding a flight is only the first step. How then is the girl to be protected from her family afterwards?

jura2 Sat 14-Jul-18 13:25:44

there are specialised hostels- but yes, it is a massive decision as they will likely be forever ostracised from family and community. Which, if handled well, can in the end signify strengh, independence and freedom.

Happened in many other religious groups or communities, be they Mormon, Plymouth Brethren, etc- or not that long ago here and in Ireland for girls who 'sinned', became pregnant, had an abortion, etc.

OldMeg Sat 14-Jul-18 13:31:48

Sad about your husband Gilly

My DH seems to set them off regularly, and I even did myself once. I was then scanned by a woman with a hand held scanner who was very polite and just says it happens quite often.

Liz46 Sat 14-Jul-18 14:11:55

I have memories of my husband standing laughing as I was 'attacked by a lesbian' (his words) at airport security. I am searched thoroughly every time and I know I look like non threatening granny.

MissAdventure Sat 14-Jul-18 14:15:53

My mum was given a very thorough frisking at the airport, although she couldn't get out of her wheelchair. They felt around underneath, etc.
She said it was the most fun she'd had in years!