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young people increasingly say 'NO children'

(131 Posts)
jura2 Fri 15-Nov-19 09:19:36

... and who can blame them.

BradfordLass72 Sat 16-Nov-19 21:02:09

Since time immemorial people have been saying this.

There has never, ever been a time of total peace when the world looked bright and happy and hopeful for many.

It is what it is, and you are wise to just accept it and get on with life according to your own inate desires: to have or not have children.

As we move away from generations of religious and other persuasions to procreate, more young people who are absolutely not child-orientated are feeling they can say 'no'. Wonderful.

There are far too many children and adults in this world who are suffering from the realisation their parents should never have had them.
It leads to feelings of alienation, bitterness, resentment and all the terrible fall-out those emotions can generate.

Deedaa Sat 16-Nov-19 20:47:12

We never intended to have children but had an accidental one. We liked her and had another. We've always been close without being loveydovey and they were a great moral support during DH's illness. My GSs are a constant joy and as two of them have ADHD and one is also autistic I hope I've been a support for them. My two oldest friends chose not to have children. One has just died leaving a husband who has never even learned to cook. The other has been looking after her husband who has a degenerative illness and feels very isolated. I' m not saying you should have children to look after you in your old age, but it seems very sad not to have any close family who might phone from time to time or just send a birthday card.

Grammaretto Sat 16-Nov-19 19:08:15

The idea that only the intelligent should procreate is nonsense.
I'm no expert but I know that we are likely to revert to the average. That's why it's average.

So Shakespeare or Einstein's children were unlikely to be brilliant.

M0nica Sat 16-Nov-19 18:42:51

Oops quite a number of population experts disagree with the UN figure and beleive that population growth is slowing down and that peak population will be well before the end of this century.

The main geographical area which still has a high birthrate is Africa.

janeainsworth Sat 16-Nov-19 15:39:42

Apologies, I have just realised I claimed to have posted a link, when in fact it was Baggs who posted it blush
Senior moment blush
Sorry blush

Baggs Sat 16-Nov-19 14:41:39

Great link. Thanks, varian. That is exactly the argument: we must reduce poverty.

Judy54 Sat 16-Nov-19 14:23:24

Not having children can seem out of the ordinary to some people who then feel they have the right to ask why? This is insensitive to those who may not have been able to have them. When asked why I don't have children my normal response is why do you ask? this often makes people take a step back. Alternatively I have said do you have children, why do you have them? The response I have received is what a strange question, my reply no more strange than asking me why I don't have them.

We all have multiple roles in life, Wife/Partner, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Work Colleague. Being a Mother or not being a Mother does not nor should not define who we are as a person.

Alexa Sat 16-Nov-19 13:04:21

Choose not to breed because of over population by humans?
It's already too late for such a long term prevention of climate emergency.

Children who already exist are going to experience terrible suffering unless they are very rich and can flee to regions that are habitable.

varian Sat 16-Nov-19 12:17:09

I recommend this brilliant TED Talk by the late great Swedish statistician Hans Rosling demonstrating the effect of improvements to child health in restricting population growth in developing countries.

www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_on_global_population_growth?referrer=playlist-the_best_hans_rosling_talks_yo

Baggs Sat 16-Nov-19 12:00:23

Yes, oops. UN figures are fine. But the point is that population growth is slowing down. And the reason for this is that poverty is decreasing.

People who live in dire poverty in countries with few resources don't have the energy to care about the environment, just as we didn't until after the industrial revolution. Once living standards have risen sufficiently that people aren't living hand to mouth, care for the environment follows as night the day.

This is well documented and shows what we ought to do.

BTW, I expect our worldindata provides the UN with statistics.

M0nica Sat 16-Nov-19 11:08:54

DD decided when she was 4 that she didn't want children. She didn't fancy the24/7 commitment.

I do not think she was thinking of multiple holidays abroad at the time and she doesn't have them now.

She just didn't want to have children (or a partner), end of.

varian Sat 16-Nov-19 10:39:03

There are many young people who are genuinely concerned about the future of our country and the planet and the divisions, misery and appalling waste caused by this brexit nonsense has exacerbated their feelings of stress and anxiety.

timetogo2016 Sat 16-Nov-19 09:40:04

I don`t blame any couple who don`t want children.
The world is not the same world I grew up in so fare play to them.
No stress that`s the life.

Witzend Sat 16-Nov-19 09:36:08

I do have to wonder how many of those people who say they aren't going to have children because of saving the planet, will then enjoy multiple annual holiday flights abroad, etc. - trips that might very likely not be affordable with a couple of dcs to add to the bill.

One of my dds doesn't want children but she doesn't give any pious, worthy reason for it.

Shropshirelass Sat 16-Nov-19 09:23:46

My daughter decided not to have children (although I think her partner would have liked to be a dad!). She has a lovely job, horses and dogs and said she is too selfish to give any of that up to raise children. She loves her independence and it was the right choice for her.

Hetty58 Sat 16-Nov-19 08:50:07

janeainsworth, your reply:

('Unless parents actively abuse their children or fail to provide them with food and shelter, or fail to protect them from harm, they are not responsible for anything their offspring might suffer')

wouldn't convince my brother to change his mind. He'd feel guilty for creating children in the first place, especially as we can't protect them from everything. He worked in war zones and famine areas and saw too much suffering.

Oopsminty Sat 16-Nov-19 08:49:23

janeainsworth

They reckon world population might stop growing in 100 years time.

Quite a long haul.

janeainsworth Sat 16-Nov-19 08:45:18

It also suggested that a disproportionate number of these prevented births had been girls.

janeainsworth Sat 16-Nov-19 08:43:56

growstuff in the article I posted a link to, there was an estimate that 400 million births had been prevented.

growstuff Sat 16-Nov-19 08:39:15

I wonder how much China's one-child policy affected the global total.

TwiceAsNice Sat 16-Nov-19 08:38:38

Totally agree with you Applegran. I love my grandchildren to bits, children of my DD1. She had them quite late at 33, turned out to be twins so felt she was too old to have more by the time she felt she might cope with another.

DD2 has no children but has not found someone else since she broke up with her previous partner several years ago. She is the sole earner and can’t afford to have a child on her own and said she doesn’t want other people seeing it more than her whilst she works. However she would love children and is a fabulous full on aunt to her nieces so lots of things make people’s decisions. It’s got nothing to do with the state of the world.

I had my children young and knew I wanted children since my own childhood and have never regretted it. I have worked all my life with children in two different careers.

However I had a friend who deliberately didn’t have children because she wasn’t keen on them and thought she’d be a rubbish mother. I admire her decision instead of just complying with the majority of her peers at the time.

janeainsworth Sat 16-Nov-19 08:30:16

Oopsminty the figures you quote are consistent with a falling fertility rate.

Oopsminty Sat 16-Nov-19 07:01:28

Thanks, Baggs

I think I'll stick with the United Nations though.

They've been doing this a long time

In 1960, the world population was just over 3 billion

In 1970, 3.7 billion

It's now 7.5 billion

They reckon by 2030 it will be over 8 billion

Baggs Sat 16-Nov-19 06:49:44

Link info about global fertility rates, e.g. that overall global fertility has halved in the last fifty years.

Baggs Sat 16-Nov-19 06:46:08

oopsminty, birth rates are falling all over the world as poverty decreases. Yes, even in countries with relatively high birth rates. Data at ourworldindata.org.