Madeleine McCann suspect

I was far from a perfect mother; I once almost lost my son on a French beach when I took my eyes off him for a second. What followed was the longest 10 minutes or so of my life until he was found by his uncle. If anything had happened to him I would have had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I still can’t imagine ever thinking it would be ok to leave him or his siblings alone.

As a social worker, working outside office hours, I fairly regularly had to visit families where children had been left alone, usually in their own home. Often the parents were struggling, sometimes working in the evening while the children were in bed. There were also those who just wanted to go to the pub. Whatever the reasons, the Police were always involved and some of these parents were charged with neglect. A social work assessment was carried out and there was always a chance the children might be removed or be made subject of a child protection plan (used to be called the At Risk Register).

Whilst I have great sympathy for what the McCanns have suffered all these years, I do feel they were treated more sympathetically because they were middle class professionals and not poor, unlike most of the families I came into contact with. Social workers have always known that middle class families escape the notice of the authorities far more easily than poorer families, although there is neglect and cruelty in all classes.

Chewbacca crossed posts!

I agree Chewbacca
I think (not 100% sure) that Ben Needam was accidently run over by a man, who admitted it on his death bed, I think last year? He was too frightened to admit it at the time, but confessed just before he died. The authorities were told where it happened and after digging found the toy Ben had been playing with. Sorry, but can't remember whether his remains were found, presume they were.

sodapop
a) German police have been investigating this man for several years, trying to tie what initially appeared to be circumstantial evidence in to a proper case. This has involved several European countries intelligence agencies and its only now that they have felt that they have enough evidence to make it public.

b) It is believed that Ben Needham was accidentally killed by a man driving a digger on land near to where Ben was last seen playing. His body has not been found.

Both of these questions can be Googled for fuller details.

I'm not going to stand up for someone just because they are female. There are plenty of women who have been appalling in their treatment of their children. Am I going to support them and refuse to believe that they have done anything wrong? No, I am not.
As others have said I am not claiming to be perfect , far from it, BUT my commonsense says that small children should not be left by themselves under these circumstances.
And where did anyone get the idea that it's safe to leave children by themselves in European countries. We have open borders , there are paedophiles everywhere, there are murderers everywhere , crimes are committed everywhere.
In fact it's usual to take kids out in the evening in European countries , they eat with parents and other adults in restaurants and sit up later than most do in the UK , so the McCanns could have easily done that.

Well said chewbacca... As parents we've all made mistakes with our children whether we know it or not.

It's supposed to be safe to leave your children in European countries. I don't blame the parents. Personally, I only had one child and didn't let him out of my sight. Not because I was a super duper mum. My husband persuaded me to have a baby against my will just before 40. I thought my life would be over. How wrong I was and how lucky I was to have a socially distanced meeting with him this week. We lived in Spain for many years but chose to rarely leave him with baby sitters. My personal choice as I didn't realise how being a mother wasn't so bad until I tried it. Now he takes me to restaurants.

Can someone answer two questions I have please
a) why has this man emerged again as a suspect
b) what happened to Ben Needham.

Reelashosser. Hear hear

How many more times- nobody is pretending to be perfect, just saying what we would or would not do under the circumstances being discussed.

None of us can make a statement declaring anyone innocent or guilty of the fate of the child until we know for certain what happened to her.

It may be the German or it may not.

Once again the smug older women are being holier than thou about the McCanns. Apparently these women were perfect mothers, who never made a mistake - let's hope their grown up children can agree with how they were brought up.

While I too, would never have left my children alone as they did, it doesn't mean I was a perfect mother, and I can have compassion for them and not point the finger. They have to live with their regret and don't need any of us pointing the finger.

Most people have done something they regret in hindsight, and the majority are fortunate enough not to have been found out or had tragic outcomes.

Ladies, let's support our sisters, not denigrate them.

Don't you think her parents are wracked with guilt and remorse TwiceAsNice? Don't you imagine that they would do anything to turn the clock back to that evening and do things differently? Don't you think that there hasn't been a single hour since they lost their little girl that they have relived that night over and over again? Can you imagine the agony of knowing that that one decision changed everyone's lives forever and they would never know what had happened to their child? And the added pain of suspicious minds that would forever accuse them for, at best negligence and, at worst, her murder? Imagine walking in their shoes for one hour. Personally, I couldn't have done it for 1 minute.

I find all the abuse aimed at them inexplicable. They shouldn’t have left them but they were with a group of people who were all doing the same thing. They all took it in turns to go back every 30 minutes and check the children. It could have happened to the children of any of the others in the group but from what I’ve seen in various documentaries, the McCann’s apartment was closest to the the road and on the ground floor.

Criticising them for leaving the children unattended is valid but the vitriol and unmitigated hounding on SM has been astounding. I don’t understand why anyone would think they’d harmed their own daughter. As for drugging them with Calpol; anyone who knows anything about children will know that they sleep far more deeply than adults and from my own experience as a child plus an occasion when my eldest two were young, I know they’ll sleep through any amount of noise once sound asleep.

I don’t for a minute think the parents hurt her but that’s not the point

I feel terribly for the little girl she was but can’t understand why her parents would be so foolish to leave them all in an apartment alone just so they could have a meal just adults. We have been abroad many times with the grandchildren and family and either they have stayed up later and we’ve all eaten together or one adult has babysat in the same room and the others have gone out. Never would it occur to us to leave them alone. Surely when abroad you should be even more careful than usual. I should add we wouldn’t do it on a UK holiday either.

That little girl didn’t have a choice and she has probably paid a terrible price.

Many will be eating their words, I hope. Those who'd blamed the parents for murdering their daughter, including some of the Portuguese police and that odious Amaral who wrote a book.

The McCanns will suffer their own life sentence for the rest of their lives by having left 3 children under the age of 3 alone in a strange country/ apartment. A country which at the time was dubbed a paedophile's paradise.

Lulubelle500; you have summed up my feelings completely.

I totally disagree with the people who have accused some of the commenters of being holier than thou (or worse) about the McCanns for leaving their children alone while they went out for the evening. This is a forum for people to say what they think. If the question had been Does anyone think it is wrong to leave your young children in a strange room in a strange country and leave the building for hours while you go out for the evening? I imagine most would have said yes I do think it's wrong. The fact that it turned into a tragedy and we all feel desperately sorry for the McCann family shouldn't change that. When you decide to have children you know that for years your life is going to be somewhat different. If you don't want that don't have children.

Ben Needham also had a lot of money spent on his disappearance,he was playing outside on his own when he disappeared,not so different from leaving your children alone asleep a few yards away.The McCann's have been tortured for years,they look dreadful every time I see them.The suspect they have identified now,has convictions for interfering with small girls as well as raping the elderly lady,and convictions for burglary as well.

Oldwoman70 nothing surprises me anymore.

I gather the police were so intent on blaming the parents that the current suspect was dismissed and allowed to leave the country.

I had a phone call one evening, years ago when my eldest DD was about 11 or 12,from her schoolfriend who lived round the corner. She had woken up with earache and was in tears. Her sister, a couple of years younger, was still asleep and her mum was at the pub with her boyfriend. I went round, calmed her down and sat with her till mum and boyfriend returned. It showed that you can't leave bigger kids on their own, let alone tiniest. It's just not safe.

Her mum was all thanks and gratitude but she seemed to hate me after that night. No more friendly chats.

However, though the McCanns did a stupid thing, they have paid for it a million times over. I hope they get closure. More than anything, I hope it was quick for Maddie and that she didn't suffer too much.

Sorry but I would have never left my children or my grandchildren on their own anywhere .

I haven’t found anything anywhere confirming he’s been charged. I know it would be headline news and in every bulletin if someone had been charged. It does make me winder where people get their information from. Also, sadly, I doubt he would confess as he’ll be spending the rest of his life in prison if he does.

I'm fairly sure Mr & Mrs McCann regret their decision every waking moment of their lives Dee1012. There but for the grace of God...........