Rather die than have a stoma

Sorry if there is already a thread on this subject but I couldn't find one.

A court has ruled that a 34 year old man should be allowed to die rather than live with a permanent stoma, ie an ileostomy or colostomy (the reports don't say which it is.) He has had a decade of illness and had a temporary stoma which he hated. After having it reversed, he got ill and developed sepsis and had to have another operation. Before the op, he wrote a letter saying he didn't want to live if it meant having a permanent stoma, which it does. His parents support his decision.

He is currently in intensive care, sedated but with a 60-70% chance of survival. He will be moved to palliative care and intravenous feeding and fluids will be withdrawn. Inevitably, he will die.

I don't dispute his right to die. He made his wishes clear and I respect that.

But I am so sad about it. He made his decision because he believed his life was ruined. He told his mum, "How will I get a job? How will I get a woman?"

I had an ileostomy when I was 25,after 12 years of ulcerative colitis. I felt very low when it was done but I was determined to cope, and I had the support of my family. I was luckier than the young man, as I was already married with a baby, and my husband was brilliant. It is tough to adapt, mentally and physically, but you do. It fades into the background and becomes part of normality. My op was 41 years ago and, since then, I have had another child, 7 grandkids and a full, happy life. There could be so many good things in this young man's future but he'll never know, because he has chosen to die.

I won't pretend it's all easy. Sometimes there are problems, small or large. I had a parastomal hernia - quite common - which got obstructed a couple of years ago. I had to have an emergency op and nearly died, but that's not a usual thing. Basically, a stoma lets you live.

Do people think that having a stoma is so dreadful that they would rather die than be like us - like me? I guess that many people do.