Excellent points re. dress Anniebach and janipat.
I liked Meghan so much at first (long after the wedding: though it seemed immature to me I didn't hold it against M.) and almost everyone I know felt the same. She seemed to bring a happy new note to things while also caring about the tradition into which she'd married, and - though this may sound superficial, and I recognise that other women have the right to condemn me because my views may not match theirs - I loved her style. Seeing old photos of her will always pull at me a bit and make me wish things could have worked out. I don't mean mere beauty, though heaven knows she has that in abundance, but a wonderful ability to wear clothes rather than letting them wear you. I thought it was marvelous, in this age of WAG submissiveness to surface, that she was setting such a good example to girls and young women by being more than your face/body/clothes and letting one's essence be what pulls it all together and carries it off.
Marrying into the RF is difficult even for aristocrats (Princess Diana) and gentry (Fergie) who have acquaintances within the family and some knowledge of how things work. It's a tough job to marry into even if you're English. If you're from another country, it only makes sense to me that you should be willing to give things plenty of time. You're not only living in a foreign country, you're living in an institution that's alien territory within that country. You're slammed with two new sets of completely different ways of life.
M. barely gave it two years. Imho someone married to a common-or-garden foreigner, living in that spouse's land, should allow for a longer adjustment period than that.
M. wanted to be an activist. Nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of activists of a sort within the Royal Family. Many years ago H. was made an Honourary Gurkha: think what M. could have done for Gurkha wives and children struggling both here and in Nepal. If I had money to spare I'd bet any amount of it that Joanna Lumley would've come in on this in some way, which would have been spectacular. (Not because JL is white and English, but because her name has enormous 'get attention factor.' That's important in charity work.) Helping girls regarding body image and bullying. As a former actress, support of the arts would have been marvelous. She had hundreds of opportunities for a platform and a voice.
If she wanted to be a completely un-fettered activist, then she should not have married into the RF and most especially not accepted the title. You simply can't get political once you're in there (i.e. remarks about abortion. It's natural that she'd make some slip-ups, but they should have been apologised for and learned from: 'Right, I can't do that, but I can do this.')
But look at the good you can do without politicising - the Prince's Trust, Save the Children, riding for the disabled, the list could go on and on. M. had plenty of time to learn about this before marrying H. Imho you can set just as good an example for women within the RF as without, chiefly by showing that we can be mature and strong enough to do the whoppingly difficult job per instructions.
As for the press, no one denies that some of what was written and said was unconscionable. Princess Diana, Prince Charles, Fergie, Princess Margaret, Kate, HM - they've all been given ridiculously rough rides. Two wrongs never make a right but it's unreasonable to marry into the RF and not accept the fact that there will be unfairness from the press.
'It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it.' It's the way H&M handled things that sticks in my craw. The way Archie's birth and christening were handled. The way the whole split was handled.
There is always a choice between doing things respectfully or behaving like a spoilt brat. I'm sorry but the latter doesn't reflect well on M. or her so-called 'feminist' status. Respect has to be earned whether you're male or female. (This goes for H. as well.)
Though many will disagree, imho think there's no better example of an incredibly strong woman and perfect role model than the Queen. No, she hasn't a 'normal' job and yes, there's quite a bit of privilege. Oddly those are two of the very things that make her position difficult, and which make her ability to walk the bizarre tightrope that is her life with such level-headedness all the more amazing. She's devoted her life to the good of her country, she understands the importance of duty, and for the better part of a century she's shown that you can speak up and work for good while staying in the bounds of protocol.
And yet feminist M. didn't even include her in the 'Vogue' issue she co-edited. Just imagine the impact that photos of an eighteen-year-old Princess - future Queen - in ATS uniform, mending Jeeps - could have had on young women who probably wouldn't otherwise know anything about that part of HM's life. It would've spread the idea that you don't have to be a 'girly girl,' that it's more than OK for girls and women to show mechanical aptitude, and just generally been a decent and good thing to do. There are many other aspects of HM's life that I feel earned her inclusion in that magazine. H&M's treatment of her - and of the RF in general - has been appalling. If they honestly felt that they had to leave the family, even without giving it more time, they could have done it differently. Better.
As for the 'oh poor me' act while in South Africa ... repeat, South Africa ... was that the act of a strong, compassionate woman?
Pull the other banana, it's got bells as well as writing on.
And yes, supporting women does mean recognising their right to live as they choose regardless of whether you stigmatise it as '50's housewife or not.
M. has gone from someone I was in many ways happy to see join the RF to - again this is just my opinion - someone who's verging on coming across as a sort of cult leader. That video where she keeps crossing her arms over her chest (something Hitler used to do quite a bit, btw.) Sorry but her whole demeanour now doesn't seem quite balanced. Almost everything from the South African tour has been self-focused to the point of strangeness and growing stranger all the time.
Of course I bend the knee to feminists who are clearly superior to me because their opinion is different. Having my own view clearly makes me an embittered old crone with no right to express myself.