I've been thinking about the points you made about the relationship of the individual and the state, Maizie. It is a complex question, but I will have a go at answering it, although the answer will be both long and simplistic.
We probably are all specks of dust, but nevertheless, whilst the dust particles are combined to make humans who live in societies, we have to find a way to make that work
.
In an ideal world, it would be good if we could all do what we wanted, with enough money (or whatever we decided to use instead) to have access to the resources to do so, and the security of knowing that the state would educate us, support us when we needed it and look after us when we are ill or grow old. Realistically, however, this would be likely to end up with too few people wanting to do the looking after, or to provide the resources for the rest, and it would all fall apart. Think Morlocks and Eloi in The Time Machine.
We need, therefore to reward those who contribute to society at large*, and the way that capitalist societies do that is through the exchange of money. Opting out of this way of doing things would mean opting out of the ability to trade with other nations, and would also restrict most of us to having to deal only with people local to where we live.
* This is separate, IMO, from contributions we all make to our own lives and families, which is not to say that these contributions are not valuable in their own way - it's just that everyone who has a family contributes to it, so those who also contribute to society by producing things, or by making it run more smoothly should see the benefit of that.
How we decide which contributions to society are more valuable than others is where political viewpoints come into play. Some would argue that scarcity value and market forces are what makes some roles more valuable, so brain surgeons (who are always the poster boys and girls in this sort of analogy
) get paid more than the roadsweepers who are always the metaphor for those at the bottom of the pile. Others would say that all of us need clean roads, but only a few need brain surgery, so the reverse should be true. Either way, there are differentials.
Then we need to sort out how to ensure that we have enough people able to do all the things that we need as a society, whether that is providing practical/necessary things such as food or water supply, or cultural ones such as art and poetry. We educate people accordingly and allow or deny individuals access to levels education that give them choices about how to spend their working lives - how this is done is another political choice.
On top of that, we are all different when it comes to things like health and abilities. Some can't contribute as much as others in a quantitative way, but can offer all sorts of valuable assets in other ways. Again, how we deal with that depends on political will and outlook.
Personally, I support the idea that we should contribute according to ability, and take out according to need. I think that the way to pay for that is to tax those who have more, and give to those who have less. After that, however, I think that we should be left to spend our money how we like, and not to be told that we can afford to pay for things that others get free, simply because we have saved. If taxation is done fairly in the first place, we should not be penalised twice.
I think that there should be an assumption that we will all contribute to society (not just to our own families) so that the 'burden' of paying for health, education and things like roads and other services does not fall to some and not others. How this would be enforced is again, a matter of political will. I would prefer it to be done by making as much as possible a quid pro quo arrangement - you can't take out unless you have put in, unless there is a reason why this is not possible.
As regards pensions, if they are to be a universal benefit, then either everyone or no-one should pay in.