Transphobic Bullying

All bullying is bad. Picking on children who are different is wrong, and it is the role of teachers to sort it out when it happens at school. Parents will do what they do, though, and there is nothing any of us here can do to change that. We can influence our own children and grandchildren if we have them, but not the children of our neighbours, other than by taking action if we see them doing something reprehensible.

Your OP asks what we as adults can do to stop impressionable children from bullying. I think the answer is that all we can do is look to our own families, as I did, and as you are doing.

I’m interestedly to know what the school has done about the many incidences that Violetsky has reported.

If transpupils are being bullied to this extent you can be sure that a large number of other groups and individuals are also being bullied over perceived differences.

Bullying to this extent is an issue of whole school culture and should be tackled as such by all members of staff and for all pupils.

I'm not sure how a trans person being a bully is "worse"

In what way is one kind of bullying "worse" than another?

No child should be bullied and many forms of bullying involve sexist or sexual bullying as has been identified in the policy I posted further up

. . . ensure that issues in the wider world and adults or public figures who have extreme views aren't negatively impacting our children and grandchildren?

Which extreme views are these? Is it a primary school that you work in or secondary? Isn't it the duty of teaching staff to report extremism under the Prevent rules?

No bullying is acceptable, but hiding behind the banner of you’re transphobic if you don’t follow my rules and I can get you punished is the newest form of bullying.

That's horrible, Molly. Bullies can be devious, and many do attempt to wrong foot others by various means. They have to be clever enough to do it without someone seeing through it, but clearly some of them are.

I remember you posting about this a while ago. Did anything get sorted out (that you can tell us, anyway)?

That is never acceptable, no bullying is

No forms of bullying are acceptable

What can we do as adults to ensure no child is bullied at school and that issues in the wider world and adults or public figures who have extreme views aren't negatively impacting our children and grandchildren?

And worse, it can be the trans who are doing the bullying as at my DGD’s school. Imagine all girls, in skirts or trousers, regulation shirts etc. Now imagine one girl, who chose to go to an all girls’ school, who decides in her first week in Y7, that she’s trans. Despite a strict adherence to school uniform, anyone who misgenders her by using the wrong pronoun which she changes at will is reported for transphobia and initially, punished by staff scared of repercussions.
She collects a group of followers who bully others into joining to keep themselves safe from the bullying. The ringleader sends pornographic material wanted or unwanted to other members of the group, and school says initially that they can do nothing because it’s out of school.
Girls are told they should change their names, get breast binders to prove their allegiance to the group, especially the well developed ones like my DGD, because, “they need to look more like boys”, and ask for drugs to stop their puberty. They are told that if their parents don’t support them in changing, they’re likely to commit suicide.
Any complaints from parents, trying to support their their children who are upset by the trap they have fallen into, bring accusations of transphobia!

Y7 girls are told that if they don’t fancy boys then they’re probably gay or trans or even . . . Asexual!

Would a genuine trans ask to go to a school composed of the sex she appears to deny?
Or was this just too good a chance for a bully to miss?

Seems a strange reaction to a thread about bullying really

All schools have anti bullying policies and I work in education so I read the guidance that comes from LEA and the government

For a reason

I have not insinuated anyone's child or grandchild is a bully, I know the signs that someone is * being bullied* as I am supposed too.

I am also, as I already said, not one of those parents who thinks my child is a perfect blameless angel.

Which is why I do the work to prevent bullying in the first place something I believe we are all responsible for as a society

. . . lots of adults don't think that way or realise that issues in the adult world make their way to the school playground.
Well yes. Parents are a mixed bag, and there is little or nothing you can do to change that, and arguably that is no bad thing - not about you personally, but it would not be good IMO if the role of schools extended to educating parents. As we see on here, people's opinions differ, and whereas I taught would always teach my children to live and let live, I would not be happy if they came home talking about Creationism or 100 genders as though they were facts. You can respect someone's right olive as they choose without believing the dogma behind their choices.

It appears that nobody who has posted has experience of this in their own families, so it does seem that the problem lies in your school. What is the situation with toilets? Is there a uniform policy? Do the children know one another well enough to be able to recognise a girl (however butch) in the toilets? When I was at school in the 70s it was a very large school, but I can't imagine that happening, as on the whole we knew each other at least by sight.

Perhaps this particular school has a bullying problem and surely tackling bullying follows certain procedures regardless of what the bullying is about.

Respect for others, accepting that we're not all alike and not discriminating against isn't just about transphobic bullying, it covers all forms of bullying.

I can't ever remember witnessing bullying in terms of gender at school (was a long time ago) but yes, on appearance and perceived sexual preference (the victims more often than not being boys).

For the victim of prolonged and sustained bullying, the 'reason' for the bullying is immaterial when it comes to the negative repercussions into adult hood and which for some last a life time.

Being bullied is an experience that never leaves you, whether the bullying was experienced in childhood, adulthood or both.

I hope you're not insinuating my grandchildren might be bullying!

I'm not sure that the thread is about really. There is an awful lot of education about trans etc etc.

Children are still getting called names if they gave red hair.

You seem very involved Violet. Funnily enough I knew a woman whose child was quite the bully. Of course her mother wouldn't believe it because she'd taken time to educate and teach her child etc etc

You just never know

I am aware that bullying goes on without the knowledge of parents and carers and know the signs to look for.

Working in a school I obviously educate children on anti bullying, and British values of individual liberty, tolerance and respect which of course means each other as well as themselves...

I also teach my children to be open minded and respectful of other cultures, religions, sexualities and gender etc.

I feel that's my personal responsibility but lots of adults don't think that way or realise that issues in the adult world make their way to the school playground

Thankfully not in schools my gc go to. I have 7 of them and the conversations don't seem to arise. One 14 year old girl has decided recently he's a boy. No issues, just the odd forgetting of name. Soon rectified.

So what do you think should be done? You are the one who is seeing these incidents in action. Most of us on here are surprised that they are taking place, so maybe we aren't the best ones to ask.

What does the anti-bullying policy have to say?

TBH, I don't think you can blame adults - there is far less anti-gay sentiment on TV than even 10 years ago, and repeats of old programmes carry trigger warnings. Everything from soaps to shows about renovating houses or cookery has gay couple in them with no fuss made about their sexuality, and role models in the music and film industries are often openly gay. Even in sport there are increasing numbers of 'out' people.

If it is happening in your school, maybe there is something about its culture that is causing it? Obviously none of us could know what it might be, so again you are best placed to answer your own question. I can't imagine a situation where a schoolgirl is mistaken for a boy in a girls' toilet, but it's a while since my two were at school. Maybe discuss it with the Head, or the Chair of Govenors?

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202208/medium-618814-screenshot-20220814-183627-drive.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202208/medium-648544-screenshot-20220814-183519-drive.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202208/medium-718448-screenshot-20220814-183359-drive.jpg

This is from the Welsh.GOV website and you can find it by googling Respecting others, sexist, sexual and transphobic bullying.

It explains transphobia's roots in fear and sexist ideas.

It is a long standing problem that has actually worsened since this was written

But does that happen in schools? Are female pupils being attacked and or verbally abused because they are trans, are of masculine appearance and/or butch lesbians?

Are their incidents of the aforementioned in the school in the OP together with incidents of female pupils being mistakenly 'identified' as trans and using toilets designated as being for females?

We know that these things happen but not in schools surely.

Elegran

I hope that the condemnation of bullying trans people also extends to condemning those who support the bullying of people who are not bullying these trans people, just stating their own belief that they have changed their gender, not their sex - without being personally or even generally abusive in stating their opinion.

That belief is protected Elegran and I agree with the equality act, I think that belief can be discussed with kindness and consideration and many people do so, including you as far as I have seen. I hope that answers your question.

If you read the OP it is exactly what is happening in schools

It's about school issues and what we can do as adults to ensure that young people rent being discriminated against based on gender, swxuality or appearance

I hope that the condemnation of bullying trans people also extends to condemning those who support the bullying of people who are not bullying these trans people, just stating their own belief that they have changed their gender, not their sex - without being personally or even generally abusive in stating their opinion.

Is this about a school-related issue or a thinly-veiled dig at gender critical feminists?

The stuff about 'masculine appearing women and butch lesbians being verbally attacked' sounds familiar, but it's not the sort of thing that would happen in schools, is it?

Yes there is a huge difference between bullying someone for being trans and making transphobic comments to someone who is being bullied.

But we do know that trans women, masculine appearing women and butch lesbians have been verbally attacked for using a woman's toilet because they were trans or mistakenly assumed to be trans

That's bullying even if someone believes they are standing up for their sex based rights.

So I think that it does matter whether someone is bullied for being trans or would be bullied anyway so it makes no difference...

Especially when that bullying is an attack on their appearance, gender or sexuality which is something they cannot change and will have long reaching devastating consequences to their future happiness.

So shouldn't all adults carry responsibility for how these things are discussed in public and private to ensure we are not passing on that behaviour to children?

There's a huge difference between bullying someone because they're trans and making transphobic comments to someone whose being bullied.

The 'reasons' for bullying are various. Children are bullied for wearing glasses, having ginger hair or too many freckles. For being fat, for being thin, for being academic for not being good at sports; the list goes on and on.

None of the aforementioned are due to fear or disgust and my interpretation of the OP wasn't that these unfortunate students were being bullied because it was believed they were trans. It was a convenient issue to bully them with.