New search for little Maddie

seadragon

Squiffy

I feel sorry for Maddie’s siblings. Have they been able to lead a ‘normal’ life?

I've been wondering about them too, Squffy.

I think her sister was recently photographed attending the memorial service for Madeleine's disappearance and holding acandle.
Very sad for the siblings, not just the parents .

Doodledog What I did, or what anyone on this thread did with out children isn't the point. The fact that Madeleine was taken is the fault of the person who took her, and her parents must have been to Hell and back for the mistake that ended as it did.

There ^^ right there is point to the thread.

I agree with all those who have admitted to sometimes leaving children unattended whilst on holiday. When my first born was a baby we sometimes stayed in hotels with a baby monitor, whilst we went down to the dining room in the hotel. Once he'd fallen asleep, he was out like a light, I remember thinking we were lucky when other parents halfway through their meal were contacted by reception to say their baby was awake. Anyway all that ended with number 2, who wasn't so obliging.

Talking of number 2, when he was around 7 or 8, we were staying at a hotel in Spain spending an afternoon around the swimming pool. Took my eyes off him briefly, he'd disappeared, that disappearance was for several hours, I can't ever remember being so frantic and out of my mind with worry. The hotel was putting out announcements on a tannoy, eventually staff went knocking on all the room doors and there he was, wandered off with another little boy who wanted to show him his Action Man toys, both had been whiling away the time in his room with an array of superheros oblivious to the fact that a full scale search was going on. That was long before Madeleine disappeared. I think a lot of us looked back with a "there for the Grace of God" I'm sure it changed parents' behaviour in the aftermath. I have nothing but sympathy for the McCanns, The Bulgers and the parents of the little blonde boy who disappeared in Greece many years ago. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, sometimes it only takes the blink of an eye.

I would suggest many of us cast our mind back to our own childhoods, our parents generation were positively laissez faire as far as the hands off approach in being allowed to roam around far and wide , mine certainly let us wander off for hours on end at an early age. I don't remember parents being castigated quite in the same way, helicopter parenting just wasn't a thing if my memory serves me well.

It's all very well saying it's the fault of the person who took her - although it's still to be proven that's what actually happened, and you can argue all you like about 'mistakes'. However, try to put any speculation to one side for a moment. The FACT remains that no-one would have been able to take her if the McCanns hadn't left her and her siblings alone, and not for the first time either. Why shouldn't people bring this up - it's a fact. One of the few actual facts that we do know.

I hope the parents get some closure. In the 70's I too left my my baby whilst at a party over the road, my ex husband and I took it in turns to go and check on her every 30 minutes. I was 18 at the time and looking back now I regret it, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I think the parents must regret that decision every single day. I just wish people would not keep bringing this up. I just feel so sorry for them and any other parents in the same position.
Let's just hope this is not another dead end.

Doodledog good post

When my children grew up (in the 90s) I was criticised (as were my peers) for not letting them play outside, and told that they would be a generation of couch potatoes, of how previous generations had gone out on bikes all day and only come home for food. Mine played in the garden where there was a swing, a slide and a climbing frame, so I thought they got enough exercise, but as usual, the then younger generation was told we were wrong because we weren't leaving as the one before had done.

I can't help thinking that this is more of the same. What I did, or what anyone on this thread did with out children isn't the point. The fact that Madeleine was taken is the fault of the person who took her, and her parents must have been to Hell and back for the mistake that ended as it did.

Doodledog

I'm sure that the McCanns have said that her name was Madeleine, not Maddie. Just like Denise Bulger complained when people shortened James' name to Jamie, and 'Suzy' Lamplugh's mum, who said that her daughter was always known as Susannah. It might seem like a small thing, but I think it must be really annoying for the parents to see reports about their missing/dead children where complete strangers use shortened versions of their names that the family never used. It feels very disrespectful. I'm not blaming people on here, as journalists start it, and unless we hear the parents' distress there is no way we can know, but I do wish they (the journos) would stop it.

Oh yes, that is something that has really annoyed me ever since I heard about James Bulger's mother saying that he was called James. Do these press people think that a Jamie is more sympathetic, or more likely to arouse emotion in the reading public than a James? How downright nasty to rename someone like that in such awful circumstances. I didn't know about Susannah Lamplugh, but will now bear it in mind, so thank you, Doodledog.

We had a couple of holidays in a hotel which advertised a listening service in the evenings, so that we could eat downstairs when the children (having had Children's Tea!) were in bed, with the phone connected to the reception. There was always someone there and parents were called if any child was crying or making a noise. I have to admit that it felt like liberation. Not sure I would do it now though.

pascal30

I think the McCann's have probably suffered enough now.. judging them is not pretty

Agreed

I think the McCann's have probably suffered enough now.. judging them is not pretty

Doodledog

I'm not saying that we left our children alone at night (we didn't), but did the people saying that if they hadn't been alone she wouldn't have gone missing allow their children to play outside?

I often find that on one hand parents are criticised for not letting their children have the freedom to roam (they are always indoors with a screen) and on the other for not keeping a close enough eye on them. Children don't only go missing in the evening.

Of course my children were allowed to play outside, but there was always an adult around keeping an eye on them. Even more so if we were on holiday. Same goes now whenever we are looking after our grandson.

Doodledog

I'm not saying that we left our children alone at night (we didn't), but did the people saying that if they hadn't been alone she wouldn't have gone missing allow their children to play outside?

I often find that on one hand parents are criticised for not letting their children have the freedom to roam (they are always indoors with a screen) and on the other for not keeping a close enough eye on them. Children don't only go missing in the evening.

We never left/leave ours alone either. If any child related to us is outside - an adult is out with. Roaming is always within my eyesight.

Child abduction is not new, careful people have always existed.

I'm not saying that we left our children alone at night (we didn't), but did the people saying that if they hadn't been alone she wouldn't have gone missing allow their children to play outside?

I often find that on one hand parents are criticised for not letting their children have the freedom to roam (they are always indoors with a screen) and on the other for not keeping a close enough eye on them. Children don't only go missing in the evening.

The parents have certainly had some nice trips and met a few celebrities and heads of state on the backs of whatever happened.

Nice trips?

Blondiescot simply stating a fact. However you want to dress it up or excuse it, it is a fact that if the McCanns had not left their three very young children alone, Madeleine would not have gone missing. That's not crucifying anyone - it's the simple facts of the case.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to Madeleine - however, she was left unattended, something abhorrent to many adults.

I never left my children alone when on holiday and never considered doing so.

However that doesn't stop me having huge sympathy for the McCanns who clearly made a mistake and have lived with the consequences ever since, as have their other children

Frankly I am astounded at the vindictive comments about "meeting celebrities", raisng money in their charity and making it a business etc etc! The assumption/implication of something untoward within this context is frankly gob smacking. Dear dear me!!

Squiffy

I feel sorry for Maddie’s siblings. Have they been able to lead a ‘normal’ life?

I've been wondering about them too, Squffy.

I too have never left my children alone whist on holiday and neither have my daughter left hers. They were with us all the time even if that sometimes meant they slept in a pushchair whilst we ate a meal. If they were asleep in bed in a hotel room an adult took it in turns to be with them whilst the other adults had a drink. So no we do not all do it and as far as I am concerned it was neglect to leave three small children alone and don’t pretend that it is only less wealthy parents who are neglectful. We can all make mistakes as parents by accident , this was not accidental .

And so would I Blondiescot, unpopular though that view is here.

maddyone

70,000 children go missing in the UK every year? I find that extremely difficult to believe! As you say, most are found fairly soon, or they decide to return home themselves. Most missing children are much older, teenagers who choose to go missing. It’s simply not the same.

We hear about all young children who disappear in suspicious circumstances. The police let us know in order to gather evidence.

I didn't just pluck that figure out of thin air, you know. The statistics are there for anyone to see. Obviously not all of those missing children will be as young as Madeleine - does that mean they are not worthy of the same amount of publicity? Even if they are older and 'choose' to go missing, does that lessen the heartache caused to their families?

Yes, I know that, maddyone, but his mother is one record as saying she didn't get a fraction of the help the McCanns did in trying to get closure for her son. The fact still remains that many children and young people go missing every year and don't get a fraction of the publicity the McCanns do. Sadly it seems as if Madeleine is the one who paid the ultimate price for their 'mistake', if that's what you want to call it. I personally would call it something else...

70,000 children go missing in the UK every year? I find that extremely difficult to believe! As you say, most are found fairly soon, or they decide to return home themselves. Most missing children are much older, teenagers who choose to go missing. It’s simply not the same.

We hear about all young children who disappear in suspicious circumstances. The police let us know in order to gather evidence.

Blondiescot

maddyone - what about Ben Needham? That's just one example. According to the Missing People website, more than 70,000 children go missing in the UK every year. Many of them will only be missing for a few hours or days - but for some, it is much longer, or they have not yet been found.

What about Ben Needham? Countless searches were done for him and we all knew about them. He wasn’t a child who disappeared and no one knew he’d disappeared. He’s a bad example to choose actually. Because everyone knew about him, it was widely reported.

I believe evidence was found and a confession made a few years ago. A farmer accidentally knocked him down and buried him in the field near to his grandparent’s house, as I understood it. The son admitted this after his father died. It was reported in the news.

I agree, so apologies for naming her Maddie.
Honestly, I was not blaming people on this thread. Journalists so often use diminutives when talking about missing people - maybe in the hope of making them seem more immediate - but I do wish they wouldn't. People do start to assume that James was Jamie and so on, and I always remember his mum tearfully saying in an interview that this upset her so much as his name was James.

As for the McCanns - assuming that all the (countless) scurrilous accusations about them online are not true, and all they did was go out to eat without their children, I'm sure they would turn the clock back if they possibly could. Talk about paying the ultimate price for a mistake. The blame lies 100% with the person who took the poor child, and shaming the parents isn't going to bring her back.

MaizieD

^They'd had been crucified for doing that^

Well, I'm seeing crucifixion happening right now on this thread, and very unpleasant it is, too.

No, simply stating a fact. However you want to dress it up or excuse it, it is a fact that if the McCanns had not left their three very young children alone, Madeleine would not have gone missing. That's not crucifying anyone - it's the simple facts of the case. And it wasn't the first time they had done it either.