New search for little Maddie

I loved Katherine Whitehorn. Still find her articles in old books sometimes. I was that sort of parent: saw danger everywhere. Even so there were several occasions when something bad could have happened to my children. The phone rang one afternoon when I was about to go to the playing field to pick up my son. Thinking that his older sister would be with him I chatted on the phone only to get to the field and find him sat on his own. I felt awful. Still feel guilty nearly forty years later and get whatifery moments.

What happened about this? Anyone know? Did they draw a blank again?

Trying to get the right balance is never easy MrsNemo.

Years ago I read an article by Katherine Whitehorn; she said that her criteria for any decision about her children was 'What would the Coroner say?' This is not flippant; pausing to go over what questions might be asked of you, like 'What on earth were you thinking of?' might well make any parent considering their arrangments to think twice. I was always super cautious - I'm not suggesting that this made me a good parent as I do feel at times I have stifled my children in the name of safety and protection.

That moment of inattention is so easy. I remember a family beach holiday, aged maybe six, my little autistic brain being just fascinated by the creatures in rock pools, investigating the next one - then the next.

When I went back up to the sea wall, my family weren't there - so I wandered back the way I came, still couldn't find them, sat on the wall and sulked.

I must have been missing for more than an hour, walked a mile - of course, they were searching in both directions. I got such a hard smack when they found me and bad sunburn too - but survived.

…it’s clear police made a mess of the initial investigation.

I think from what we were told at the time that it’s abundantly clear that the police in Portugal messed up big time. I like to think the British police would have been more professional and made better progress as a result, but who knows?

silverlining48

Madeleines parents have paid the hardest price and will carry their guilt to the end of their days. They don’t need the blame of others , they will be blaming themselves fir ever.
It was a terrible mistake which went badly wrong. We all make mistakes and usually get away with it but to castigate the parents on and on is cruel and unkind.

Well said silverlining

I blame the abductor and not the parents
And Hetty58 I agree
Sleepovers in tents in the garden, an older visiting child opening a side gate, a momentary lapse of attention in a shop or when out and they're suddenly not there, surely most of us have experienced all those things.

I can't print what I'd like to do to such people.

Madeleines parents have paid the hardest price and will carry their guilt to the end of their days. They don’t need the blame of others , they will be blaming themselves fir ever.
It was a terrible mistake which went badly wrong. We all make mistakes and usually get away with it but to castigate the parents on and on is cruel and unkind.

I just see it as absolutely tragic. I blame the abductor and not the parents. Ok, it was foolish to leave them unguarded but, when you really think about it, have you always kept a good eye on your children? Constantly?

I know I didn't. They weren't left alone at night - but they played in the garden, played in the street, went on sleepovers, 'hid' in shops - even camped in the garden with friends.

On holiday, beyond toddler stage, they'd play with a group of kids, take themselves off to the loo etc. - and did we always have eagle eyes trained on them? No, we were just relaxed and enjoying ourselves. We had no sense of danger.

When you look at it through the eyes of an abductor, any open door or window, any unattended child, any momentary little lapse in parental supervision - is an opportunity. Thank God we were lucky and no harm came to them!

Oreo

No hanging judges at all, I see posters who think only of the child and what befell her.I agree that the parents have paid dearly and am sure we all can sympathise with them while at the same time some of us can see that leaving three tiny ones home alone in a strange apartment was a huge factor in this tragedy.

I agree Oreo with everything you say.
If this were a different scenario say a run-down Estate. A house with a pub next door parents who regularly left three under fours to go just next door for a drink .
Then one night a fire broke out and unfortunately one of the children died. Would people have had much sympathy for the parents and the wider family . Of course, they wouldn't they would accuse them of child neglect and so would the social services, they might even remove the other two children.
All parents have a duty to think for their children when they are too young to do so for themselves, wherever they are ,their intelligence or parenting skills.

They have already collected several bags from the depths, I should think they are finding much more than anticipated, dumped from over many years. DNA testing and modern technology must have any live wrongdoers quaking in their boots as well as potentially giving closure to others

Blondiescot

The victim here is Madeleine.

She's certainly the primary victim, but I dread to think how many more broken hearts there are in this tragic tale.

I think some of the posts are very critical of the McCann’s and I do believe if they had been a working class family it would have been much worse. However, they were part of a large group, about 10, I believe, and they all left the kids asleep. They all took it in turns to check the children, going at least every 30 minutes, maybe more often than that. If memory serves me correct, one of the party checked the McCann’s children but didn’t go right into the bedroom. When Kate went some 20 minutes later Madeline had gone. I believe she had gone when the other party member checked but she didn’t realise. The abductor had a head start and it’s clear the police made a mess of the initial investigation.

I have a close friend that lives in Rothley and she’s often seen Kate and spoken to her. I remember her telling me how thin she was and had a haunted look. I can’t begin to imagine her tortured thoughts. I hope they get some closure in this lifetime.

The victim here is Madeleine.

No point in judging the McCanns, just hope they get some closure. Victim blaming is what we used to call it when I was working

That's heartening to hear about the twin siblings Jamie.
So often events such as these can have a profound effect on others, not just those in the family, as someone has already mentioned, but also on friends.
(I was close to a family member at the time of the Emily Dickinson case in Brittany, and this person never recovered.)

Oh, and if you think some posters on here are critical of the McCanns, you wouldn't believe some of the things you could read on other social media sites.

Those of us who have been critical of the McCanns have also pointed out that we were/are far from 'perfect' parents. Like it or not, we all make judgements on a daily basis and there have been many threads on here criticising parents for all manner of things. Let's face it - none of us on here know for a fact exactly what happened to Maddie. Abduction is just one theory.

Exactly Jamie there’s a lot of judgement and harsh comments from ‘perfect’ parents on here, some are completely vitriolic
I can think of so many things I wouldn’t do now so many things I would do differently and I can remember so many times I breathed relief that they came home safely it was such a very fine line between letting them enjoy life and be safe
Things like letting them walk home from school with friends instead of meeting them out (older of course but still a decision that had to be made)
going to a disco or party my poor eldest I didn’t allow to go to a certain disco that didn’t have a good reputation all her friends went and are still here to tell the tale I wish I hadn’t been so scared So many big and tiny life decisions to make when being a parent
These people have been maligned since day one and it’s horrible, so much judgement and so little empathy

Squiffy You wondered about the McCann twins. Both twins have been involved in a certain sport since young and have done well.
Have not seen them recently due to Covid but they were always well supported by both parents. They are lovely looking teenagers. The male twin is doing very well still and who knows he may one day be on a British team!
It must have been very hard for them because where ever they go there is always lots of people watching them and they must be aware of this.
I think many of the comments on this thread were uncalled for and were disappointing for this normally helpful thread.
' Judge not less you be judged' springs to mind.

Yes, it was a terrible case. There were others too. My daughter was born in 1993, and the case I was originally thinking of happened later, when she was also old enough to be scared as it was on the News and she heard it. I think that child was killed, and it was in the north of England, but I can’t remember the detail now.

The Moors Murders happened in daylight, and James Bulger was with his mum when he was taken. I don’t hear people criticising the parents in those cases. People point the finger at the McCanns because they were eating out and needn’t have been - but that’s not what killed her, whatever happened.

biglouis

I hope the Germans are paying for this investigation and not the British taxpayer.

How bloody heartless. This is a child we are talking about.

The Gemma case was in 1993. We had a touring caravan at that time and we used to take our children camping all over Europe. Our daughter was ten in 1993 and she had somehow heard about this case. She was very frightened by it and although we were sleeping in the caravan with her, she insisted on having the window near her bed firmly shut.
Our two sons slept in a two man tent just outside the caravan. Maybe others think that was negligent of us as parents. It was quite common practice on camp sites in those days for the older children to sleep in a small tent next to the caravan or larger tent.

Doodledog
I’ve just read the link you posted. It’s heart rending and difficult to read. How wonderful that they found little Gemma.

biglouis

I hope the Germans are paying for this investigation and not the British taxpayer.

Why biglouis?
Whoever is paying, and I suspect it will be the Germans, if something is found, then it will be money well spent. Even if nothing is found, at least it’s another area covered and eliminated. The money doesn’t worry me, even if the British are paying.