I never believed in anxiety or depression either, until I "broke", my sister told my employers "that the concrete cracked!" I was 25. I was off work for 14 months on Prozac, before the pills I had got to the stage that i was a shaking wreak, stressed, very high strung, the pills made me sleep, calmed me down. I spent months just trying to get my head right, I only left the house at night to walk the dogs after a few months. After 6 months, my GP went on maternity leave, her partner, knowing nothing about me, "right, let's get you back to work" that shook me to my core as even my GP had only said the previous month about my employer being in contact with her and keeping me off longer, 3rd practice partner looked at my notes and took over! I did go back after 14 months, and after 4 weeks my employer asked me if I would like to take redundancy as they could tell "relations" had altered too much. I took it and carried on healing at home.
Before all this hppened, I had NO issues with dentists, now, my nerves trigger the minute I hear the drill, I can't even tolerate a filling with the normal drill, my dentist had to calm me down, before hand, I'd even had wisdom teeth out, no problem, and that's major tugging!
Now? I'm 49, am I healed? NO! I can't remember the last time I was full of joy, happiness etc, yes, I smile at the dogs, I have so much love for my dogs, but every day stuff, I don't care! I really dont! It's horrible feeling, it's as if there is greyness all around me, I never see positives always negatives, yes, I've had councilling, don't work! I can get frustrated very easily, i find it easier to be by myself as I've always been by myself, I'm not lonely though, it's how we were brought up, look after yourself, as long as I have my animals to talk to, I'm fine.
There are some people out there that all you hear is "oh my mental health" because apparently that's the biggest health issue at the moment! But I'm old school, i don't talk about it because to be honest, the only person I could talk to us mum and if I say anything about not feeling right etc or being upset etc, all i get off her is "don't worry, you'll be fine", basically code for "I'm 81, I've got more issues".
Yes, I cry when I'm alone, if I don't I'll bloody well burst, never mind crack!